Thoughts

[Guest]

[Seagondollar]

Along the lines of the colloquialisms and jokes threads.  No judgmental responses, just your collections of thoughts and quotes (with source, please)





       How did the scarecrow know he didn't have a brain?

                                      -Lance W. Bledsoe

[Steve Scott]

"One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake."

                                                                            -Jack Handey

[spadapatina]

"No situation is so bad that a cop can't come along and make it worse"
-Heinlein?

[gary martin]

"Golf is a good walk spoiled"
Mark Twain

[Steve Scott]

“I’ve never dropped anything off a moving motorcycle and found it again – myself excluded of course”
                              -Ed Hertfelder

[Seagondollar]

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.  Unless there are three other people.

-Orson Welles


You gotta draw the line someplace.                  

-Charles Mason to Jeremiah Dixon


Come over to the Dark Side.  We have cookies               (bumper sticker spotted in Raleigh)


"Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow."


All power corrupts, but we need electricity.


Fighting terrorism is like being a goalkeeper.  You can make a hundred brilliant saves but the only shot that people remember is the one that gets past you.
                                   
                - Paul Wilkinson (b. 1937), British
                  scholar, author on terrorism.
                  Daily Telegraph (London, Sept. 1, 1992).


I think animal testing is a terrible idea;
they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

                              -A Bit of Fry and Laurie

[norflog76]

My perspective on building permits:

A requirement that a landowner pay a government agency  a considerable sum of money to obtain permission to build on said landowner's property to the requirements established by that government agency, who, in turn, accepts no responsibilty for the final results.

[radguzzi]

"My Witness is the Empty Sky"  - Jack Kerouac

[Mark West]

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world. -- Dave Barry

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. -- Douglas Adams

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. -- Hunter S. Thompson

Reality is whatever refuses to go away when I stop believing in it. -- Philip K. Dick

[geoff in almonte]

I refuse to master the skills involved here without a firmer idea of who is going to be impressed.

Calvin (from Calvin & Hobbes cartoon strip)

[Steve Scott]

I refuse to master the skills involved here without a firmer idea of who is going to be impressed.

Calvin (from Calvin & Hobbes cartoon strip)

Ow! I got beat to a Calvin and Hobbes quote.

How about this:
"Some people have a way with words. Others... uh... not have way... I guess?"
                                         -Steve Martin

[radguzzi]

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."

Will Rogers, 1897-1935

[kevdog3019]

"So many Dicks...so few Richards"
   -Bumper sticker

[Seagondollar]

There are three types of people.

Those who can count.

And those who can't



anonymous

[radguzzi]

"The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory." - Paul Fix

[Eric]

When you're riding lead, don't spit.

[Joe n Grassy Creek]

"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure witn no loss of enthusiasm" Winston Churchill

"We are remembered for the rules we break" Douglas McArthur

"God doesn't play dice with the Universe" Albert Einstein

"There's no future in working" my first ex-brother-in-law, Gary Stebbins

[Frank Smith]

I wouldn't trade the bubble gum in this baby's ashtray for all the motorworks in Bavaria.

Jake, from That's Jake comic. circa 1984 Orlando Centennial


Don't you hate it when buggers freeze?

Calvin of Calvin and Hobbs


Uncle Duffy, what is the Company's medical plan?
"Don't get sick!"

Uncle Duffy, what is your position in the Company?
"As awkward as it is confusing."

Duffy comics I clipped from the Houston Chronicle circa, 1987.


Scene with sled dogs lined up and Grimm at the rear.  Most dogs ahead of him have their nose, well you know.
"If you're not the lead dog, the scenery never changes."

This one has been posted in my office for over 20 years.




Comics aren't meant for kids.  Read them and throw the liberal editorial pages away.

[radguzzi]

"The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of meeting the schedule has been forgotten."


"A time Peace, I swear it's not too late. " - The Byrds ~ An adaptation from the book of Ecclesiastes

The journey is the reward. - Chinese Proverb


"There is no idea so good it can't be ruined by a few well-placed idiots." -- Scott Adams, "Dilbert" creator


"The obscure we see eventually.  The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer."   - Edward R. Murrow


Beware the fury of a patient man.  - John Dryden, Absolam and Achitophel, 1680


"We're all riders on this train" -  Bruce Springsteen


"Never for me the lowered banner, never the last endeavor."   - Sir Ernest Shackleton


I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. ... Groucho Marx

My favorite...

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter".......Martin Luther King Jr.

[Frank Smith]

"The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of meeting the schedule has been forgotten."

Rad.  That is going on my signiture line at work.

A related theme.

You can have two of the three.  Fast, Quality, or In Budget.  Three of three is not an option.

[zzrider]

"......... there have been great advances in our ability to communicate -unfortunately,  there has not been a corresponding increase in intelligent thigs to say..."

Unknown T.V. commentator - on cell phone technology

"In recent years there has been an alarming increase in things I know nothing about"

tom rush - folksinger

[Offcamber1]

My favorite non-guzzi web site:

www.despair.com

Spend some quality time there.

[Offcamber1]

"What is optimism?  Alas, it is the mania for pretending that all is right, when in fact everything is wrong."  Voltaire

[T in NC]

A dapper bug father who is about to be run over by Albert's runaway lawn-mower in Pogo cartoon. "BEHOLD, CRANEPOOCH, MY SON!... A VERITABLE THUNDERING JUGGERNAUT".

"we have met the enemy and he is us".  Pogo

"He was a monster, black-dressed in leather."  Jim Morrison

[dhansen]

It's better to keep you mouth closed and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
Abe Lincoln

Makes me feel good when I look at the number of posts I've made...........................

[Jon Burdsall]

From my list of tag lines that I've used over the years.  From lite to heavy.

"Duhamel looks as if his tires are never actually in molecular
contact with the track, but just sliding, spinning and floating
around the circuit on a boundary layer of wishful thinking and pure
aggression."
- Peter Egan


By learning to appreciate bourbon at the beginning of your drinking
career you will save time and never feel the shame of catching a
glimpse of yourself in a bar mirror with a big, pink drink in your
hand.   - Charles K Cowdery

"War is an ugly thing but not the ugliest of things; the decayed and
degraded state of moral and patriotic feelings which thinks that
nothing is worth war is much worse. A man who has nothing for
which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his
own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of
being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men
than himself."
- John Stuart Mill


It is, in a way, an odd thing to honor those who died in defense of our country in wars far away. The imagination plays a trick. We see these soldiers in our mind as old and wise. We see them as something like the Founding Fathers, grave and gray-haired. But most of them were boys when they died, they gave up two lives -- the one they were living and the one they would have lived. When they died, they gave up their chance to be husbands and fathers and grandfathers. They gave up their chance to be revered old men. They gave up everything for their county, for us. All we can do is remember.
- President Ronald Reagan    Remarks at Veteran's Day ceremony, Arlington National Cemetery (11 Nov. 1985)           


Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than one's fear. The timid presume it is lack of fear that allows the brave to act when the timid do not. But to take action when one is not afraid is easy. To refrain when afraid is also easy. To take action regardless of fear is brave.
- No Peaceful Warriors!,   Ambrose Redmoon (James Neil Hollingworth)         
         

[spadapatina]

We've got Groucho Marx, Will Rogers, and Mark Twain, but no Ambrose Bierce or Yogi. I'm shocked. Shocked.

[Eldo in the Weeds]

I won't belong to a club that would have me as a member - Groucho Marx

I don't drink water because it rusts pipes and fish make love in it. - W.C. Fields

[T in NC]

Moses, I'd like to let you part the Red Sea. But if I let you part the Red Sea I have to let everybody part the Red Sea. 
Officer Judy (Super Dave Osborn) on the Smothers Brothers Show.

[spadapatina]

I forgot about WC Fields. But you certainly can't have WC Fields without Mae West: "I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.". Which also brings to mind Ms Parker: "Take care of luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves"

[Turin]

" Why is it that common sence isn't common" (I'm sure I  swiped that from some one else... Ayn Rand?)

   

I'd Dry shave a Bobcat if the money was right (Me)

 

Hell, I've seen better heads on lettuce (foghorn Leghorn?)

I swear I'm going to kill that cat that crapped in my mouth while I was sleeping (hangover, me a lot)

 

Next time I want another lay like that, F the dinner bill, I'll just grab a jar of Hellmans(me)

[Frederik]

There are three types of people.

Those who can count.

And those who can't
anonymous

Another one;


there are 10 types of people

Those who inderstand binairy language and those that don't...

[auzziguzzi]

Things should be as simple as possible - but no simpler                 A. Einstein.

The pen is mightier than the sword - but no match for a gun           Beach Boys, Surfs Up.

[Cam Lay]

The notion that technology can substitute for competence is upon is in all sorts of endeavors -- Col. Jeff Cooper.

People who object to weapons aren't for abolishing violence, they're begging for rule by brute force.  -- L. Neil Smith.

People who fight may lose.  People who will not fight have already lost. -- Berchtold Brecht.  (See also Winston Churchill.)

If they can get you to ask the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about the answers. -- Thomas Pynchon

The trouble with fighting for freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels.  For it is on scoundrels that oppression first falls. -- H.L. Mencken

Intellectual and moral docility may be convenient for leaders in the short term, but it is suicidal for nations in the long term.
-- Carl Sagan

Laws do not persuade just because they threaten --Seneca ("Convince" might be better than "persuade.")

[Ernie]

"Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day."
"Don't drink downstream of the herd."
"I never miss a good opportunity to shut up."
--- Will Rogers

[Ragnar]

Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper...............Francis Bacon

A Conservative Government is organised hypocrisy............Benjamin Disraeli (Conservative Prime Minister)

It is said that God is always on the side of the big battalions....Voltaire

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.........Oscar Wilde

[travelingbyguzzi]

If you are too fond of your whiskey, then:

      "Morning's a bitch with open arms; night's a girl who's gone to far."-Patterson Hood
                                                                                        Bill Lovelady
                                                                                        Eskimo Spy

[BillinPA]

They are to our right, to our left, In front of us and behind us, they can't get away now! Chesty Puller Lt.Col USMC WW II

[Goose]

They are to our right, to our left, In front of us and behind us, they can't get away now! Chesty Puller Lt.Col USMC WW II

Wasn't that Korea? In the Frozen Chosin resevouir (sp)?

[OldMojo]

"Ability is of little account without opportunity"

-Napoleon


"Don't ever let 'em make you feel like saying what you want is unbecomin'
If you were supposed to watch your mouth all the time, I doubt your eyes'd be above it"

-Mike Cooley