Top Speed Liar

[LowRyter]

Why back in 19 and 74 I had me one a them Z 2 Kamasakis , hell , it'd run 200 MPH , did it a buncha times coming the Muskogee turnpike , shoot , ya can ask my wife , she was on the back more un once .

 Related to me a few years back by a fella at a convenience store . Hope it entertains you Cat 

  Dusty

I'll bet it felt like 200 mph.

[Shorty]

All the good ones start with "I shit you NOT."

[oldbike54]

I'll bet it felt like 200 mph.

 

 And then , there are the two local guys who tell this story .

 "Yep , it was 1981 , ol Bill and Fred , well, they was haulin their MXers on a trailer behind Bill's 1970 SS Chevelle on their way to a big race out in New Mexico , or hell , maybe it was Arizona , don't matter. So's anyway , they get out to Clinton on I 40 , when that big block Chevy decides to spin a main bearing and bust up the crank . So Fred , or maybe it was Bill , well , they flag down this pair of hot girls in a Van , and get a ride into Clinton , where they call Kirk here and tell him he needs to load up some tools and rescue 'em . Now ol Kirk here , well , he calls me cause you know , hell , I'm the best Chevy mechanic in the state , just ask anyone . Now being as how we is in a hurry , it bein hot and all , and our buds are stranded , well now , we decide to take my GS 750 Suzuki , cause you know , it'd run about 140 all day long , even 2 up . So's we load up the bags with tools , musta been about 75 LBS worth , strap a 6 pack of Bud onto the handlebars , which by the way , makes a pretty good fairing , and we haul ass the whole 170 miles out to where Bill and Fred are broke down . Only takes 'bout an hour and a half, cause we did 120 all the way , hell , outran a state trooper and ah OKC cop . Woulda been there sooner , but we hadda stop and buy more beer , as we had already drank that sixer by about Midwest City . Didn't stop to pee , we'd just change places goin down the road and pee of the back ah the bike . Tell 'em Kirk , am I makin any ah this up , swear on my momma's grave, well I would if she was dead . Now when we get there , well heck , ol Fred and Bill are havin a party with the two cuties in the van , got their pavillion all set up for shade , drinkin beer and smokin pot , right there on the shoulder of I 40 , shoot , got the grill out cookin steaks . Tell 'em Kirk , am I lyin ? Hell , they even shared a beer with a state trooper . Now , cause I'm such a good Chevy mechanic , well , I had that crank out in about 30 minutes , didn't look real bad . Sent Kirk here inta town for a new main bearing and some rod bearings , oh , and some emory cloth . Now before I could drink another beer , well , ol Kirk here , he is back with the parts , cause he rode about 120 all the way there and back on that GS , had ta out run a city cop on the way out . Think they tried ta put up a road block , but Kirk , bein so great a rider , he just dodged the cops . Well now , had another beer , and a coupla tokes , and put that there motor back together after I polished up the crank with some emory cloth . Slapped that sucker together in about 30 minutes , told Bill to fire her up , after puttin in some new oil . Purred like a kitten , Bill took her up the road a ways , hit 120 or so , said it never ran so good , no surprise , cause , well , I AM the best Chevy mechanic in the state and all . Anyway , we sent Bill and Fred on their way , the two hotties followin 'em , did I mention they was a coupla rich girls from California ? Anyway , they was ah payin for everything , and handin me tools and all . So's now Kirk and I head back East towards Muskogee , all the way at about 120 , just hadda stop twice for beer and to eat . Didn't see one cop all the way back , would't ah mattered , woulda just out run 'em . Am I makin any ah this up Kirk , tell the truth bud , iffin I'm lyin I'm dyin."

 Dusty

 

[wymple]

Back in college in the 70s, there was this guy from New Jersey that talked pretty big at times but you know it turned out he generally could back things up. If I had not seen it for myself I would have called BS but he had had a heavily modified early Honda 750 and framed on his wall was a ticket given to him on the Jersey Turnpike (was arrested also at the time.) for 164mph. I would have thought handling might be a bit dicy but he survived it.
He liked adventure, as he took a VW bug across he border somewhere into Mexico to pick up some recreational goodies and returning through the border area he riled some folk that left a few bullet holes in the rear engine hood along with some cooling fins, etc. chipped and damaged. I saw the results of that. BTW he made it back okay. Hard to stop those old Bugs.
GliderJohn

We had a kid in high school who got a ticket for 138 mph in a souped up 59 Chevy with a 348 under the hood. Carried it around like a badge of honor. When he got his license back he ran my big block Olds and couldn't keep up a small bit north of 120.

[BRIO]

I have a stock four door Buick in silver with a 4 cylinder engine. On the few occasions I've told people that I had it up to 150mph I got that infamous uhuh, as in "sure you did". Seems to be the most common you're-full-of-it response.

[ITSec]

At least the Four Yorkshiremen didn't ride motorcycles....

[Penderic]

I don't know. Looking for something from somebody?

 

[Lannis]

 

 And then , there are the two local guys who tell this story .

 "Yep , it was 1981 , ol Bill and Fred , .....
 Dusty

 

I've known Bill and Fred myself, met 'em several times over the years.   

All the things that guys are always so trustworthy about, like how fast their motorcycles go, girls they've met on the road, bearings re-babbited in old beer cans, cops they've made fools of, how much beer they drink and dope they smoke ....

... all there in every story.

You've got their rap down to a "T"!

Lannis

[analog kid]

It's the same with airplane guys only seems like most will call bullshit quickly so the stories are sometimes closer to the truth. Someone mentioned they are not destructive lies and that is a very good distinction. So there I was at 8000 feet .......

Didja know the Cessna 152, except for top speed, has the same flight characteristics as an F14? I just nodded and said "unhunh.."
Maybe he meant if you pull the stick back you go up, push forward you go down, etc. I didn't request details...

Also a nickel contains five cents of silver, a dime ten cents of silver, a quarter twenty five and so on. This came from a machinist.
The other machinists took to calling him "Einstein".

Not in the complimentary sense.

[ITSec]

Also a nickel contains five cents of silver, a dime ten cents of silver, a quarter twenty five and so on.

Cool - the silver in the dime must be that special high-density isotope!

[Gliderjohn]

Quote from analog kid:

Didja know the Cessna 152, except for top speed, has the same flight characteristics as an F14? I just nodded and said "unhunh.."
Maybe he meant if you pull the stick back you go up, push forward you go down, etc. I didn't request details...

Well...you know the 152 had a few improvements over the 150. Still though, I wonder how well it flies at 50,000' compared to an F-14? :roll eyes:
GliderJohn

[LowRyter]

I'd like to compare the glide characteristics of the two.  They don't call them lawn dart for nothing. 

[blakebird]

so his speedo error has the needle nudging the 190 mark maybe, with 10% error at least, if not a bit more at that speed.

ask him if he has ANY idea how much more horsepower is required to make the jump from 185mph to 200mph....it's a brick wall and he'd need half again as much hp as he's got on tap to get there.

tell him it's physics and not possible with the bike he's got.
gearing limitations, etc - and will his bike even pull redline in top gear.

he'd love the bragging rights, but he's full of it and knows it.

15 yrs ago there was a guy on one of the Honda Blackbird forums making the exact same claim - he went down in flames, it was fun to watch

[drums4money]

There's a dood at work who's claimed 5th gear wheelies on a test ride.  Recently one about deciding to wheelie a hyabusa to avoid hitting a deer front-on.  "Launched me up a good 20 feet, but I rode it out. ."

I just said he was lucky he wasn't going fast enough to outrun his angel.

My weird interactions usually start with someone asking me how fast my bike is.  I always tell them I run out of nerve well before the bike does & say "it's quicker than some but slower than others."

[ITSec]

Well yeah , but can an F14 fly at 60 knots ? And a high performance jet fighter ain't worth a flip as a crop duster 

  Dusty

An F14 can fly at 60 knots once - once. As for crop dusting, that's why they have the Osprey!

[O]

You cannot reason a man out of a position that he has not reasoned himself into.

Great quote!  I'm stealing that one.

[kevdog3019]

Didja know the Cessna 152, except for top speed, has the same flight characteristics as an F14? I just nodded and said "unhunh.."
Maybe he meant if you pull the stick back you go up, push forward you go down, etc. I didn't request details...

Also a nickel contains five cents of silver, a dime ten cents of silver, a quarter twenty five and so on. This came from a machinist.
The other machinists took to calling him "Einstein".

Not in the complimentary sense.

Word got back to the mint that we were on to the Susan B Anthony being a rip-off. Discontinued immediately.     

[jas67]

That ain't nothin. A guy I know swears his Burgman will do 160 all day..
Seriously.
<shrug>

160 KPH.

[Green1000S]

I dont waste my time with unopened pistachios.

[MGPilot]

Quote from analog kid:
Well...you know the 152 had a few improvements over the 150. Still though, I wonder how well it flies at 50,000' compared to an F-14? :roll eyes:
GliderJohn

Some years back at Lake Chelan airport, CFI & I in a 152 took off to do spin training on a hot summer day. Had to catch thermals on the nearby hills to help us gain altitude. I think that's a standard F-14 technique.

[Gliderjohn]

Quote from MGPilot:

Some years back at Lake Chelan airport, CFI & I in a 152 took off to do spin training on a hot summer day. Had to catch thermals on the nearby hills to help us gain altitude. I think that's a standard F-14 technique.

My eyes! My eyes! Trying to imagine an F-14 thermalling is like imagining Rosie O'Donnell pole dancing.
GliderJohn

[Sasquatch Jim]

 You guys need to spend some time in front of a mirror carefully practicing disdainful facial expressions while learning to snort
 in a convincing manner.
  Then you will be ready to be entertained by such stories.  Say nothing about the truth or non truth and just let facial expression
  talk for you.

[blackcat]

I always want them to think that I believe their story in hopes that the exaggerations will get even bigger, so I makes sure I add a few wows in between their minuscule pauses.

[Guzzistajohn]

Just tell him you can dive deeper and come up drier that any man on earth and see if he gives you a confused dog look.

[Sasquatch Jim]

 My opinionof any 200 mph tales told by anyone other than Burt Munro.  Who BTW did it on a 1920 warmed over hard tail Indian with a leaf spring front suspension.

 

[Yukonica]

My eyes! My eyes! Trying to imagine an F-14 thermalling is like imagining Rosie O'Donnell pole dancing.
GliderJohn
[/quote]

Okay: enough. I know diddley about aircraft or such but the image in that analogy is just so wrong.

[ITSec]

My eyes! My eyes! Trying to imagine an F-14 thermalling is like imagining Rosie O'Donnell pole dancing.
GliderJohn


Okay: enough. I know diddley about aircraft or such but the image in that analogy is just so wrong.

Ah, John was just putting the 'swing' in swing-wing....

[Rough Edge racing]

My opinionof any 200 mph tales told by anyone other than Burt Munro.  Who BTW did it on a 1920 warmed over hard tail Indian with a leaf spring front suspension.

  The Indian Scout engine was far more than warmed over. It was completely redesigned using OHV  valve conversion new cylinders, etc and all done by Munroe.....In LSR racing a leaf suspension is not necessarily a limitation

     

                         

       

[boatdetective]

tell him you went 201 on your 8v going down to the 7-11

This is the BEST way to win. The best way to call his bluff is to "out lie" him!  What's he gonna say? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

[Orange Guzzi]

I say this thread started out with a big lie to see who the is biggest liar on Wildguzzi.   Reminds me of Jimmy Blankenship, the biggest liar in Jr. H.S.  Loved to hear his stories.  I always believe a story when it starts out with "he said, hold my beer and watch this".  Even if the event ended in tragedy, you always know it started out with cheap beer and good intentions.