Brilliant news!

[oldbike54]

Los Angeles, Frankston, Bombala, Werribee, Bath, Wagga Wagga...



....I could go on....   

 Muskogee 

 Dusty

[Smithy]

Went into one of the distributors stores looking to see if they had any accessories. Chick on the counter had no idea and the spare parts dude wasnt much better. They had zero items. Major fail with these guys.
I'm not sure how this distributor/retailer who now have a monopoly on most brands in the southern states, have stayed in business for so long?

[Kent in Upstate NY]

Muskogee 

 Dusty

Oildale

[oldbike54]

Oildale

 Carbondale

 Dusty

[Muzz]

You could include the entire East Cost of the South Island if the absolutely crap weather we are having at the moment is anything to go by.

[MotoBug]

Los Angeles, Frankston, Bombala, Werribee, Bath, Wagga Wagga...



....I could go on....   

Oi! Franga?

[beetle]

Yes, Frankston. Bogan capital of Australia. Followed closely by Wagga.

[pete roper]

Hang on! I can trump the lot of you! I used to live in Wolverhampton! Truly the most appalling 'Armpit of the Universe' created by man. Yes, Hull consistently wins the 'Most Shit Place To Live In Britain' contest but I'm sure that's because Wolverhampton is barred on some sort of technicality!

Yes, I'm sure there are many other places in war zones that are worse, (When I was living there it was only a biscuit's toss from being a war zone!) but in any country not experiencing modern conflict Wolverhampton had to take the cake!

There! Gauntlet thrown! Name your 'Crappy place to live' of choice! Extra marks will be given for stories of senseless violence and arrant stupidity!

Pete

[ITSec]

There! Gauntlet thrown! Name your 'Crappy place to live' of choice! Extra marks will be given for stories of senseless violence and arrant stupidity!

Pete

Buffalo, New York. Story not required, given that it's Buffalo.

Wawa, Ontario. It makes Wagga Wagga look like a hub of culture and civilization. It even has a massive sculpture of a goose to welcome you. So awful Neil Young couldn't even write a decent song about it.

Phoenix, Arizona. If climate change denial has a home, it's this self-proclaimed metropolis. Not only do they extract an outrageous amount of the Colorado River's meager (that's meagre in Aussie-speak) flow, they smugly sit in grass-surrounded homes in the middle of a desert and complain they're not getting enough water. Did I mention that Phoenix is so far upstream of any part of the Colorado watershed that their waste water can never even reach the Colorado?

Almost anyplace in Mississippi. Yes, there's much that can be excused by the blues, by the food, the coastal lifestyle, and by the basic decency of many of its people. But in the end, it's still Mississippi. And yes, I have relatives there.

Newfoundland. OK, they do have a rebounding stock of cod, and the people have a great attitude - but why live in a place that even the Portuguese and Vikings said wasn't worth the trouble, where the Gulf Stream becomes the cold stream, and where the all-time favorite song remains, after all these years, "I'se the bye that bild's the boat"? Maybe if they had joined Canadian confederation in 1867 instead of waiting till after WWII...

Puerto Rico. How to take a potential paradise and turn it into Puertogatory. It doesn't matter whether you're a conservative or a liberal, a century of mismanagement and corruption can make anyplace a disaster.

St Louis, Missouri (and the surrounding area). I grew up there, so I have a right to complain. While cities in the American rust belt often declined because they had few other options as industry moved away, St Louis has no such excuse. It was still located at a hub for both water and rail transport and trade. It still had some of the best schools and universities away from the east and west coasts. It still had corporate entities in advanced and basic manufacturing, finance and other fields that could have been retained instead of cast away. But it didn't do that. Chicago has a reputation that makes most of St Louis look good. Don't even ask about East St Louis - nobody from the Illinois state government has for a couple of decades.

Calgary, Alberta. Yes, I know it hosted the Olympic Games, but really, it's just a cowtown full of pretentious oilmen who spend boom times crowing about how smart and rich they are, and spend downmarket cycles complaining about how awful the government / foreign competitors / regulations / lack of consumer demand are. "When I succeed it's because I'm great, and when I fail it's someone else's fault!" Calgary likes to think it's Paris with funny hats and boots, but it's really Fort Worth - with funny hats and boots. Oh, they also ruined what was one of Canada's great trout fishing rivers. I can say this, since I lived in Edmonton for many years (OK, I lived in Calgary for 4 1/2 months back in the 1970s, but I took inoculations and I ended up marrying a girl born in Edmonton - in Edmonton).

[pete roper]

Buffalo, New York. Story not required, given that it's Buffalo.

Wawa, Ontario. It makes Wagga Wagga look like a hub of culture and civilization. It even has a massive sculpture of a goose to welcome you. So awful Neil Young couldn't even write a decent song about it.

Phoenix, Arizona. If climate change denial has a home, it's this self-proclaimed metropolis. Not only do they extract an outrageous amount of the Colorado River's meager (that's meagre in Aussie-speak) flow, they smugly sit in grass-surrounded homes in the middle of a desert and complain they're not getting enough water. Did I mention that Phoenix is so far upstream of any part of the Colorado watershed that their waste water can never even reach the Colorado?

Almost anyplace in Mississippi. Yes, there's much that can be excused by the blues, by the food, the coastal lifestyle, and by the basic decency of many of its people. But in the end, it's still Mississippi. And yes, I have relatives there.

Newfoundland. OK, they do have a rebounding stock of cod, and the people have a great attitude - but why live in a place that even the Portuguese and Vikings said wasn't worth the trouble, where the Gulf Stream becomes the cold stream, and where the all-time favorite song remains, after all these years, "I'se the bye that bild's the boat"? Maybe if they had joined Canadian confederation in 1867 instead of waiting till after WWII...

Puerto Rico. How to take a potential paradise and turn it into Puertogatory. It doesn't matter whether you're a conservative or a liberal, a century of mismanagement and corruption can make anyplace a disaster.

St Louis, Missouri (and the surrounding area). I grew up there, so I have a right to complain. While cities in the American rust belt often declined because they had few other options as industry moved away, St Louis has no such excuse. It was still located at a hub for both water and rail transport and trade. It still had some of the best schools and universities away from the east and west coasts. It still had corporate entities in advanced and basic manufacturing, finance and other fields that could have been retained instead of cast away. But it didn't do that. Chicago has a reputation that makes most of St Louis look good. Don't even ask about East St Louis - nobody from the Illinois state government has for a couple of decades.

Calgary, Alberta. Yes, I know it hosted the Olympic Games, but really, it's just a cowtown full of pretentious oilmen who spend boom times crowing about how smart and rich they are, and spend downmarket cycles complaining about how awful the government / foreign competitors / regulations / lack of consumer demand are. "When I succeed it's because I'm great, and when I fail it's someone else's fault!" Calgary likes to think it's Paris with funny hats and boots, but it's really Fort Worth - with funny hats and boots. Oh, they also ruined what was one of Canada's great trout fishing rivers. I can say this, since I lived in Edmonton for many years (OK, I lived in Calgary for 4 1/2 months back in the 1970s, but I took inoculations and I ended up marrying a girl born in Edmonton - in Edmonton).

So much Win!

Next!

[kingoffleece]

I'm from Buffalo.  It's not THAT bad................ ....anymore.  Just our football team!

[Huzo]

I'm in Gippsland so a very pleasant 5 hour? ride to Bungendore if needed. I hear Canberra is lovely this time of year....

The road from Bairnsdale to Omeo is indescribably good

[Mr Pootle]

Hang on! I can trump the lot of you! I used to live in Wolverhampton! Truly the most appalling 'Armpit of the Universe' created by man. Yes, Hull consistently wins the 'Most Shit Place To Live In Britain' contest but I'm sure that's because Wolverhampton is barred on some sort of technicality!

Yes, I'm sure there are many other places in war zones that are worse, (When I was living there it was only a biscuit's toss from being a war zone!) but in any country not experiencing modern conflict Wolverhampton had to take the cake!

There! Gauntlet thrown! Name your 'Crappy place to live' of choice! Extra marks will be given for stories of senseless violence and arrant stupidity!

Pete

Pete, you've made me imagine a combination of an Australian and a Wolverhampton accent. I fear it may give me nightmares.

[Huzo]

Pete, you've made me imagine a combination of an Australian and a Wolverhampton accent. I fear it may give me nightmares.

Nah. It's sort of like an Aussie who struggled his way through elementary school and almost learned to talk. Like an average Aussie with slightly longer bowells (sorry, vowels)...

[ITSec]

Yes, I'm sure there are many other places in war zones that are worse, (When I was living there it was only a biscuit's toss from being a war zone!) but in any country not experiencing modern conflict Wolverhampton had to take the cake!

Pete

Pete just took the local team name too literally and ended up on the other side of the world...

[oldbike54]

 Let me tell a story about Picher Oklahoma , the entire area is a superfund site due to lead contamination of everything  , the town population plummeted from 2,000 to 10 in ten years , now everyone is gone . Even the mining museum was destroyed by arson in 2015 , this after an F4 tornado wiped out most of the town a few years before . Of course none of that matters , because most of the houses and commercial buildings were falling into the lead and zinc mine shafts , all of the ground water is poison , and some 35% of the children showed signs of lead poisoning . Yeah , Picher and the even smaller surrounding towns have suffered the ultimate insult .

 Dusty

[John A]

I lived in Olivehurst, CA and rode an Ambassador. Olivehurst had the highest level of violent crime in the continental United States for its population. I didn't do my drinking in that town. got burglarized once, I never heard them. they got a bunch of tools out of a friends truck that was parked just outside the door. probly a good thing we didn't hear them as we were armed to the teeth and purty good shots but sound sleepers. should have posted a watch. I think I know who did it but was unable to do anything about it. we might be out of prison by now if things had gone a little different. Shreveport ,Louisiana has some rough parts but I didn't have any bad luck there. come close a few times but escaped. Im older and not so foolish now....
Kind of a thread drift

[MotoBug]

I can complain about Frankston having spent my teens there. Still got all my teeth too! 
I'm guessing Beetle is just down on it because his first girlfriend was from there.

Lovely roads near Omeo but probably patches of snow this time of year.

[pete roper]

Frankston. Also known as Frankistan! Not quite as bad as Bankstown in Sydney where if you stand outside your motel room on a balmy summers evening you can hear the gentle crackle of gunfire drifting over from Penrith.....

[canuck750]

Calgary, Alberta. Yes, I know it hosted the Olympic Games, but really, it's just a cowtown full of pretentious oilmen who spend boom times crowing about how smart and rich they are, and spend downmarket cycles complaining about how awful the government / foreign competitors / regulations / lack of consumer demand are. "When I succeed it's because I'm great, and when I fail it's someone else's fault!"

Your description of the typical Oil man in Calgary is 100% spot on :1:

[beetle]

No girlfriend from Frankston. Eww! I have worked there, however.  I initially twigged by the fact that there's an intersection in the centre of town that had every major food group. One on each corner. KFC, Macca's, HJ and Red Rooster. Then when grabbing lunch in that shopping mall in town, guessing the ages of the girls as they pushed strollers past us while carrying another bub in their arms. 14 or 15, usually. Occasionally you'd see a mature 16 year old that also had a kid on a leash, as well as the stroller and babe in arms. All the blokes wore flannel with the arms torn off and had the obligatory mullet.

[malik]

But, in Frankston, if you look for it, you CAN find Scottish-style black pudding - comes in a brick, so slices better before frying. So if you like black pudding, it's worth the visit.

[Muzz]

Yes, Frankston. Bogan capital of Australia. Followed closely by Wagga.

I was told by my outlaws in Brizzie that Logan was the bogan capital. Are they wrong?

[beetle]

I have been to Logan. It's pretty bad.

[MotoBug]

Your description of the typical Oil man in Calgary is 100% spot on :1:

Sounds like the Australian cricket team.

Why has Pete Roper gone quiet on this thread? Oh yeah, he admitted to renting a motel room in Bankstown. Raises all sorts of questions that.

Malik, you're not thinking of Rob's British butchers in Dandenong are you? Frankston does/did have a lot of 10 pound poms in the 60's and 70's though so it wouldn't surprise me if British heart starters like black pudding are available.

[pete roper]

Why has Pete Roper gone quiet on this thread? Oh yeah, he admitted to renting a motel room in Bankstown. Raises all sorts of questions that.

Well the old importer used to be in Milperra and when they had 'Training' seminars they'd take you up there and put you up in a motel for the night. Usually we stayed a The Mill which is the pub that the famous Bikie Massacre occurred at back in whenever, (1982?) it's all been cleaned up and remodelled now and is perfectly civilized in a bogan/westie sort of way.

One time though just before they ran one of these shindigs one of the TV channels started running a lurid dramatisation of the events of the massacre and current members of one of the gangs involved, (I can't remember their names? Probably something like the Dagwood Dogs and the Blatherskites!) decided that their club was being shown in a 'Bad Light'! (One has to ask how a gunfight at a pub over a teenage girl who was the 'Raffle Prize' at the event could be shown in any other sort of light? But we aren't exactly dealing with intelectual giants here!). Anyway their answer to the TV show *Disrespecting* them was swift and rapier sharp! They decided to plant an IED at The Mill!

That's right! Not at the TV station's head office or even the studio where this dreadful b-grade pot-boiler was made but at the now completely different pub that had been the scene of the trouble thirty or so years before! (As I said. Not overly bright!).

The upshot of this was though that one of the big dealers up north was sending down one of his apprentices for the training and when he got wind of where we were going to be put up he did his 'nana! Imagine his liabilities if this spotty oik got blown up! The importer caved and we were moved.

Where were we moved to? A joint called the 'Breakfree International' in Bankistan! This move was not so much jumping from the frying pan into the fire it was more like jumping from the frying pan into a Bessemer Converter running full bore! Bankstown is a sort of Sydney 'Ground Zero' for gang warfare, drug violence and general assholism. Almost everyone looks furtive and large numbers of the populace seen to spend a lot of time scuttling from dwelling to dwelling with household appliances of dubious provenance that you have to doubt their ownership of.

The Breakfree was a jewel. I arrived about 4.00PM and stood at the check in desk for a good five minutes while the girl behind the desk who I don't think I'm being unfair to I can only describe as slaternly ignored me. Eventually I got her attention by taking my clothes off. OK, that was a lie but it did take a lot of coughing and tapping of fingers to get her off the computer on which she was playing at some sort of on-line gambling site, (I could see it reflected in the one way office glass behind her!). Speaking through the mouth full of gum she was masticating with her broken molars she informed me that my room was "Second floor, turn right when you get out of the lift." I fled.

Once I got to the second floor and turned left finding the room proved to need a bit of detective work as it seemed that previous guests had taken the room numbers as souvenirs. A small matter but tiresome none the less. Eventually I guessed the right room, (The first one I was about to try I luckily stopped at the last second before trying the key as I realized that the sound filtering through the door sounded very similar to the soundtrack of one of those wildlife documentaries about how animals copulate.) threw open the door and remained rooted to the spot as just inside the door was an enormous pool of congealed blood soaking in to the carpet! Oddly enough I decided that maybe I didn't want to stay in the 'Psycho' themed suite so I returned to the front desk and dropped the key in front of Slappy McToothless. I didn't say a word but she looked at the key and simply said, "Oh! I thought they'd cleaned that up." I was then given another key and went up again to the second floor, past the room full of priapic beasts, past the charnel house room and on to the end of the corridor.

I have to admit to feeling slightly trepidatious but on entering the room it seemed OK. There wasn't any obvious blood. I inspected the cupboards and wardrobes and no corpses tumbled out. There wasn't a human head in the minibar fridge. Sure it smelt a bit funny and the counterpane on the bed had a few clumps of fur on it but I've slept in far worse places. It was bloody cold though. Felt like a morgue.

Going outside that evening for a smoke just as the sun was going down was interesting. The restful ambiance of the place highlighted by the wailing of sirens and bursts of gunfire from the direction of Penrith and Seven Hills. A Sydney! What a jewel of a city!

Next time I'll tell you about getting a meal at the hotel! That though is a saga for another day!

Pete

[oldbike54]

 Kinda sounds like the bad part of Charleston South Carolina Pete 

 Dusty

[nobleswood]

 

Great stories ! Keep them coming !

 

[malik]

Malik, you're not thinking of Rob's British butchers in Dandenong are you? Frankston does/did have a lot of 10 pound poms in the 60's and 70's though so it wouldn't surprise me if British heart starters like black pudding are available.

I was told it was available in Dandedong too, but thanks for name of the shop. We only get black pudding here in a horseshoe sausage. Frankston apparently has Scots that came & stayed. The trouble with grocery shopping in Dandenong, is the plethora of Asian/Indian/mid-eastern stores with much more delectable delights. These also can travel better.

Bloody Pete! The rest of us get housed in something so ordinary & boring it's a decided non-event. Pete falls into complex adventures involving high drama of dubious provenance. As a matter of course.

Mal

[BAT 11]

In response to Peter Ropers post on dodgy lodgings I thought I would share with others one incident from my Navy days in Melbourne town in 1971.  Old mate and myself stepped ashore from Cerberus to seek a room at Hosies Hotel in the city.  They rent rooms by the hour but we needed a full night. Picked up the key,dropped off bags and head into the London Hotel not far away.  After several cold ales and attempts at dancing with the local girls my mate heads back to Hosies to get his head down.Says he will leave room key at reception for me. I continue on unsuccessfully trying to score with The Beast,a lady of larger girth and Nuff Nuff, who had a speech impediment. To cut it short headed back to Hosies to bed. In my drunken disorientated state I picked up the key,put it in my pocket. Arrived outside the room and where's the key? Crashed, fell asleep on the 2foot x 2 foot doormat. Slept like a baby to be woken up by the cleaner at 7am. Key has been in my pocket all night. Ahhhh to be young again.    Peter, you should write a book of your memoirs.