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Kathi and I will be there in September and have yet to decide where.
Bill,The three towns defined by the meeting of the three legs (Bellagio, Menaggio and Verenna) are all well-connected by special ferries that swim the triangle so any one of them will give you good access to the other two. You cannot go wrong with any of them. Verenna has the advantage of good rail connections to Milano (which means you'd likely go through Verenna to get to those other two). Como also has a good connection to Milano, but it suffers (to me) from being close to a real size city and therefore doesn't have the charm of Verenna (for instance). Of course, Varenna will run you close to 4X the lodging cost of Mandello or Lecco if that matters (and in the grand scheme; it doesn't).
...in Varenna, but ...in Mandello at a fraction of the cost...
Many discerning ladies would appreciate the Hotel Royal Victoria in Varenna, but I think many would also enjoy Mamma Ciccia in Mandello at a fraction of the cost... Depends on how frugal the lady is.
My most recent stay in Varenna was $260/night while my last stay in Mandello was $38/night. Both near the water; both very pleasant; both with good food; both scrupulously clean; both quite gracious.