Author Topic: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles  (Read 221105 times)

oldbike54

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #180 on: December 25, 2013, 11:40:20 AM »
Garbage barge , ol' lady hauler , porker , all names for Harley baggers .
Dusty



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Offline QuattroValvole

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #181 on: December 25, 2013, 12:15:39 PM »

When I was a kid in the 70's, my dad used to work as a logger in northern Washington state. He'd park a single wide in one of the local trailer parks and rent a room or two out to other loggers. I'd stay a few weeks with him in the summer and bring my Kawasaki trail bike with me. I could ride thru the park and go out the back and up into the logging roads. Of course the Kaw was a little ratty, no baffle in the pipe, smokey and generally annoying to bystanders.

One day I was fiddling with the Kaw in the driveway when an older lady came strolling by, imagine Ruth Buzzy in Laugh-In. She stopped and holler'd "HEY". Uh oh, I knew that an ass chewing was coming for being too young to ride the bike, making noise, dust, smoke, etc. She looked at me with her eyes squinted, and said "Don't you know this is Honda country"?

Offline ritratto

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #182 on: December 25, 2013, 12:40:30 PM »
Years ago, naked HD cruisers were referred to as "scooters" and faired touring HD cruisers as "sleds", at least around the OKC biker scene.




I rode Harleys  for many years (till the lifestyle drove me nuts)  and concur with your summation. Especially with the Bandits and such like.
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Offline FGO

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #183 on: December 25, 2013, 03:40:33 PM »
In the early 80's a friend who had other issues rode a triumph 500 or 650 twin to work every day. we noticed that it was no longer leaking oil and told him not to ride it. he thought it would still make the drive home......  He was wrong... a simple quart of oil would have saved his bike, but he was unwilling to wait the few minutes to add one we had in the maintenance shed....
Jon

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #183 on: December 25, 2013, 03:40:33 PM »

oldbike54

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #184 on: December 25, 2013, 05:15:03 PM »
They never did make one quite like the Ev'l Twin , grinning here.
Dusty


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Offline lomax

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #185 on: December 25, 2013, 06:41:54 PM »
I don't know if this was stupid or not but I got a good laugh out of it.

I have just purchased my 2013 V7R and was at the gas stations when this guys comes over and says. I used to ride Guzzi's a long time ago and you just don't see that many around any more. That is a really nice restoration job you did on the bike. What is it, like a 1974 or something.

I just said yep, giggled and rode off.

Almost as good as the guy that pulled up next to me while I was riding my Honda GB500. Nice Norton he says.  ;-T

Marc
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Offline Gnigma

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #186 on: December 25, 2013, 07:55:44 PM »
Friday, before Labor Day, nearly 30 years ago I pulled into the parking area at the apartment building in Knoxville where I lived. The office was on the same side of the building, and the receptionist, a middle aged lady lush, was locking the office door and heading towards her car--- some huge land yacht that was beat all to hell. She waddled up as I was getting off the bike, reeking of alcohol, and said, "You're going to have to move that motorcycle! I'll hit it when I back up if you leave it there!" Looking around, I saw she was parked three spaces away and there wasn't a single vehicle in the entire lot--- the apartments were almost all students and most of them were gone for the weekend. "If you hit my bike, it's because you're trying to hit it," I said, jokingly. "I'll hit it!" she screeched like a banshee, looking really mad. "And I'll call the police," I said. She stood there and got really red in the face and then said, "You don't need to be riding that thing, anyway!" she screamed some more. "You're gonna get killed on that thing! That thing is too dangerous to be on the road!" (People were coming out from the houses across the street by now.) I walked over to her car (I used to keep a pen and notepad in my shirt pocket.) and wrote down her license plate number. She got in her car and backed out, nearly hitting me but nowhere close to the bike, then spun the tires and kicked up gravel and drove out in the street, over the curb, and right in front of a Knoxville police cruiser, AND KEPT GOING! They chased her to the end of the block where she went too wide on the turn and hit a parked VW. She got out and I could hear her screeching again, "Why the f___ don't people drive things you can SEE no more?" I went into my apartment. I moved a couple of weeks later, so, thankfully I never saw her again. What was THAT all about?
Jim

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Offline Muzz

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #187 on: December 25, 2013, 08:29:10 PM »
Actually, the Traffic Officer that said it was a very knowledgeable guy.

Had just parked my old rigid 1948 350 Matchy and was struggling out of my gear, when this cop came up and walked very slowly around the bike about three times. Now Little Esmel was no show pony, and although reg'd and wof'd it did look rather "rough". Being a destitute student I got rather worried because I am sure that if he wanted to he could find something to book me for. It did have a few bits from other makes grafted on to it. He stopped, looked me in the eye and said, "I recognise an early Norton (5 imp gal) tank, I see AJS on the side of the tank, I see Matchless on the motor, I see Triumph on the seat, (pause for effect). WHAT is it???

Proceeded to have a bit of a yack about it, and I tied to look casual.... :-\
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oldbike54

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #188 on: December 25, 2013, 08:34:52 PM »
Great stories fellas , thanks .
Dusty


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Offline Nic in Western NYS

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #189 on: December 25, 2013, 08:42:31 PM »
Friday, before Labor Day, nearly 30 years ago I pulled into the parking area at the apartment building in Knoxville where I lived. The office was on the same side of the building, and the receptionist, a middle aged lady lush, was locking the office door and heading towards her car--- some huge land yacht that was beat all to hell. She waddled up as I was getting off the bike, reeking of alcohol, and said, "You're going to have to move that motorcycle! I'll hit it when I back up if you leave it there!" Looking around, I saw she was parked three spaces away and there wasn't a single vehicle in the entire lot--- the apartments were almost all students and most of them were gone for the weekend. "If you hit my bike, it's because you're trying to hit it," I said, jokingly. "I'll hit it!" she screeched like a banshee, looking really mad. "And I'll call the police," I said. She stood there and got really red in the face and then said, "You don't need to be riding that thing, anyway!" she screamed some more. "You're gonna get killed on that thing! That thing is too dangerous to be on the road!" (People were coming out from the houses across the street by now.) I walked over to her car (I used to keep a pen and notepad in my shirt pocket.) and wrote down her license plate number. She got in her car and backed out, nearly hitting me but nowhere close to the bike, then spun the tires and kicked up gravel and drove out in the street, over the curb, and right in front of a Knoxville police cruiser, AND KEPT GOING! They chased her to the end of the block where she went too wide on the turn and hit a parked VW. She got out and I could hear her screeching again, "Why the f___ don't people drive things you can SEE no more?" I went into my apartment. I moved a couple of weeks later, so, thankfully I never saw her again. What was THAT all about?
Maybe she had a little thing for you?
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Offline skromfols

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #190 on: December 26, 2013, 08:39:55 AM »
MY first motorcycle was a Honda 305 Superhawk.  I think I was around 18.  I used to ride with my neighbor who also had a Superhawk, and who happened to be 6'5 and about 280 lbs.  We were parked at the curb in a little town in the Northern Kalifornia foothills one afternoon and had just walked a few feet away from the bikes trying to decide if we wanted to go inside the bar or walk across the street to a sandwich shop.  A group of 5 or 6 Harley's came riding in and parked just a little ways down from us and all of the riders started walking past us towards the bar.  One of the Harley riders looked at the Hondas and said "I wonder what kinda Pu$$ies ride bikes like these".  My friend Bill walked up behind him and gently tapped him on the should and pointing to one of the Honda's said in a very even voice "That's my Honda".  The Harley rider, who was about 5'8" and all of 170 lbs looked up, up, up and saw the look on Bill's  face and without blinking an eye said "Damn, you're big enough to go bear hunting with a stick, can I buy you a beer"?

Second story.  Still riding my Superhawk (by now with a 350 kit) and riding with my friend Bill (from above story, who was now riding a Harley Sportster) and a second friend who was on his Triumph Trophy.  We stopped at a Honda shop because I needed something or other, and both of my friends came inside with me.  As I was concluding my business I heard my Triumph friend in a tone that let everyone know what he thought about Honda's ask where the Triumph shop was.  The salesman didn't even hesitate, just pointed outside and said in a fairly loud voice so everyone could hear "Just follow the oil slick".
Stan

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barenekd

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #191 on: December 26, 2013, 03:34:52 PM »
Quote
Still , w/o the 4 cylinder 600 being not so great , we would not have the 675

But several years ago, when the 600s were the hot new item from Triumph, they did manage to win their class at the Isle of Man!
Didn't run too badly! But OTOH, they weren't particularly memorable bikes.
Bare

Offline johnr

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #192 on: December 26, 2013, 04:12:36 PM »
Uhhhh Darren, I think that would be "Rice Burrner" :D

Or "Ring Dings", "Jap Crap" :D
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Red Dog

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #193 on: December 26, 2013, 05:27:36 PM »
Last week a young couple walked into the store & both were carrying helmets.  The girl was talkative & asked a lot of intelligent questions while the boyfriend quietly stood by.  I have pictures hanging up of a lot of the bikes I've owned over the years and I had seen both of them glance at them.

When it was apparent that they were leaving I casually asked "What kind of scooter y'all ride"?  The chick came unglued & told me that they had a Kawasaki Sport Touring & that it was not a scooter.  I just smiled and said "Hey no offense guys it's just what we called all bikes when I was your age".

The guy smiled and said: "Her Dad's a Harley man" & shrugged.

Offline Triple Jim

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #194 on: December 26, 2013, 05:51:51 PM »
I went to college with a couple guys who were brothers and fairly hard core bikers.  They had each built a show quality shovel head chopper, and rode them to school in good weather.  When one wanted to say he was going for a ride, he'd say, "I think I'll go kick up the scoot."
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Offline Triple Jim

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #195 on: December 26, 2013, 08:55:10 PM »
Hmmm... I know a guy who uses scootertrash in his email address.  Your nickname isn't Amish John, is it?
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oldbike54

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #196 on: December 26, 2013, 09:35:40 PM »
RK , the answer would be money , and lots of it . Grinning here .
Dusty


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Offline JBBenson

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #197 on: December 26, 2013, 11:41:25 PM »
In 1983, I was 17 years old, living on the Peninsula, south of San Francisco, and was really into Vespas and Lambrettas, not a “Mod” but more a punk thing, with Billy Zoom as a style icon, if anyone knows who he is.

One day, I bought a brand new, classically styled, thick leather motorcycle jacket from a Hell’s Angel named “Popeye”, who had a small shop in Palo Alto, CA. (I still wear it today when riding my V11! Finally, it’s broken in!)

Anyway, after paying him, he handed me a small rectangular sticker, white with red lettering, and a red border, spelling out “Support your local Hells Angels”. I stuck it to the leg shield of my 1974 Vespa Rally 200 as a sort of ironic joke, as we punks were the polar opposite of Harley riders in general, and Hells Angels in particular. My scooter friends got a kick out of the sticker, it was very unexpected, random, and edgy: in short, very Punk Rock.

One evening, I was heading home after a night out in The City, riding two-up with my very pretty girlfriend on the ’74 Rally, heading south on the Old Bayshore Boulevard. Passing through South San Francisco, I had to flip the petcock to reserve, and I started looking for a gas station.

At around 2:00 AM, I found one still open, on a lonely stretch of Airport Boulevard. As I pulled in, I noticed there were several bikers gassing up: Yup, Hell’s Angels. The real deal. Probably on their way home after a night out. They looked pretty rough. They WERE pretty rough.

As soon as they saw me, my sputtering Vespa, and my 17 year old girlfriend, I knew this was bad. It was too late to get out of there. They began making loud drunken comments about her, about the scooter, about my bleached blond spikey hair and multiple earrings. There was no one around. This was bad and getting worse. They were getting bolder. Now we were scared.

Suddenly, one of them said out loud: “Leave them alone, they’re flying the colors”. Immediately, they all turned around, finished tanking up, started their Harleys and pulled away, blipping their throttles as they went, leaving us in silence, alone. Wide awake....now.

That stupid sticker. Good thing I had it.

True story.
« Last Edit: December 27, 2013, 08:54:16 AM by JBBenson »

Online Tom

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #198 on: December 27, 2013, 12:44:09 AM »
 ;-T
From the Deep Deep South out in left field.  There are no stupid questions.  There are however stupid people asking questions.  🤣, this includes me.  😉

Offline Nic in Western NYS

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #199 on: December 27, 2013, 05:23:58 AM »
In 1983, I was 17 years old, living on the Peninsula, south of San Francisco, and was really into Vespas and Lambrettas, not a “Mod” but more a punk thing, with Billy Zoom as a style icon, if anyone knows who he is.

One day, I bought a brand new, classically styled, thick leather motorcycle jacket from a Hell’s Angel named “Popeye”, who had a small shop in Palo Alto, CA. (I still wear it today when riding my V11! Finally, it’s broken in!)

Anyway, after paying him, he handed me a small rectangular sticker, white with red lettering, and a red border, spelling out “Support your local Hells Angels”. I stuck it to the leg shield of my 1974 Vespa Rally 200 as a sort of ironic joke, as we punks were the polar opposite of Harley riders in general, and Hell’s Angeles in particular. My scooter friends got a kick out of the sticker, it was very unexpected, random, and edgy: in short, very Punk Rock.

One evening, I was heading home after a night out in The City, riding two-up with my very pretty girlfriend on the ’74 Rally, heading south on the Old Bayshore Boulevard. Passing through South San Francisco, I had to flip the petcock to reserve, and I started looking for a gas station.

At around 2:00 AM, I found one still open, on a lonely stretch of Airport Boulevard. As I pulled in, I noticed there were several bikers gassing up: Yup, Hell’s Angels. The real deal. Probably on their way home after a night out. They looked pretty rough. They WERE pretty rough.

As soon as they saw me, my sputtering Vespa, and my 17 year old girlfriend, I knew this was bad. It was too late to get out of there. They began making loud drunken comments about her, about the scooter, about my bleached blond spikey hair and multiple earrings. There was no one around. This was bad and getting worse. They were getting bolder. Now we were scared.

Suddenly, one of them said out loud: “Leave them alone, they’re flying the colors”. Immediately, they all turned around, finished tanking up, started their Harleys and pulled away, blipping their throttles as they went, leaving us in silence, alone. Wide awake....now.

That stupid sticker. Good thing I had it.

True story.
You know how to spin a tale sir.
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Offline youcanrunnaked

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #200 on: December 27, 2013, 07:42:02 AM »
In 1983, I was 17 years old, living on the Peninsula, south of San Francisco, and was really into Vespas and Lambrettas, not a “Mod” but more a punk thing, with Billy Zoom as a style icon, if anyone knows who he is.

Great story, and I did get the reference.

Punk rockers on Vespas must have been a West Coast thing.  My time on the scene in NYC, the style was more influenced by the rockers, who rode motorcycles, than the mods, who rode scooters.  I had a black leather motorcycle jacket then, too (suitably adorned with buttons, pins, and a red telephone cord as braid around one shoulder), and I rode a motorcycle, but you wouldn't have caught me dead on a scooter.  The Ramones wore black leather motorcycle jackets, but they didn't ride Vespas.  (Then again, I don't recall any of them riding back then.)

West Coast bands like X mixed punk with power pop, so I guess a Cali punk rocker on a Vespa, wearing a black leather motorcycle jacket, makes perfect sense.  Now that I think about it, isn't there an X album (Wild Gift, maybe?) with a photograph on the back cover of Billy Zoom sitting on a Vespa?

I think this was the picture:


It's Billy on a Sears Allstate (re-badged Vespa) -- wearing a silver leather jacket!  Punk, power pop, AND glitter!  Awesome!







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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #201 on: December 27, 2013, 09:56:33 AM »

 My time on the scene in NYC, the style was more influenced by the rockers, who rode motorcycles, than the mods, who rode scooters. 









Never saw an interesting scooter back in those days, most were Japanese bikes(trashed) ridden by crazed messengers. LOTS of scooters nowadays.
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Offline twhitaker

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #202 on: December 27, 2013, 12:52:57 PM »
The first time I rode my Ambassador to work one of the fellows said, "You need to get a REAL bike, a Harley."
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Offline lomax

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #203 on: December 27, 2013, 02:01:43 PM »
The first time I rode my Ambassador to work one of the fellows said, "You need to get a REAL bike, a Harley."

I always open my big mouth and say "Define real bike" then proceed to laugh as they try and explain.  ;-T  And yes I have owned about 20 Harley's in my life so kind of know what they are.

Marc
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oldbike54

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #204 on: December 27, 2013, 04:48:39 PM »
I always open my big mouth and say "Define real bike" then proceed to laugh as they try and explain.  ;-T  And yes I have owned about 20 Harley's in my life so kind of know what they are.

Marc
I usually respond with " You mean a Vincent " , that shuts them up , or starts a conversation ,
Dusty


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Offline JBBenson

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #205 on: December 28, 2013, 04:56:00 PM »
Just today:

Guy: "Hey dude, what kind of bike is that?"
Me: "Moto Guzzi"
Guy: (Blank look)
Me: "It's Italian"
Guy: "Is it fast?"
Me: "How fast do you wanna go?"
Guy: "Is it a rotary?"



barenekd

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #206 on: December 28, 2013, 05:48:43 PM »
My wife always telling me, "You're too old to be riding motorcycles!"
I tell her, "If you want to see me get old, make me stop!"

Bare

Offline Triple Jim

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #207 on: December 28, 2013, 05:58:06 PM »
JBBenson, that made me remember the times, and it's been several, that someone asked me if my motorcycle was a Harley-Davidson.  The funny part is that this was when I was riding my Kawasaki H2.
When the Brussels sprout fails to venture from its lair, it is time to roll a beaver up a grassy slope.

dilligaf

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #208 on: December 29, 2013, 08:58:29 AM »
This was something I overheard while riding the Cedar Island Ferry to Ocracoke.  I was riding my ST2 at the time.  A man was talking to a woman he was with.  "Look how old he is.  If someone that old can ride a motorcycle I don't see why I can't have one".  I found that comment to be very stupid.  Along the same line, not stupid, maybe a little smart so a little off topic, we were arriving at the Mexican restaurant, again on the ST2, in town as a middle aged woman was coming out who, when she saw us, made this comment to the man she was with.  "If they can ride something like that I'm don't see why I need a Harley".  I'm not making this up people, just ask Marion.  It turns out she was a local English teacher who was looking at motorcycles.   :BEER:
Matt

Offline Triple Jim

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Re: The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles
« Reply #209 on: December 29, 2013, 09:19:31 AM »
The age thing maybe not so stupid.  Age is used as an excuse for a lot of things, and it happens in marriages a lot.  "I'm too old to..." or "You're too old to..."  Good for the guy to rebel a little.  I guess the stupid part was that he had been allowing his wife to keep him from doing something he wanted to do. 

The 2013 Boston Marathon had 22 finishers in the 70-74 age group, 5 in the 75-79 age group, and one in the 80 and over age group.
« Last Edit: December 29, 2013, 09:20:58 AM by Triple Jim »
When the Brussels sprout fails to venture from its lair, it is time to roll a beaver up a grassy slope.

 

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