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Thanks...and if she live longer than her money....Medicade takes over???
That's the really hard part. Medicare/Medicaid will "take over" in a sense, but they don't provide anything besides a bare competence and the facilities aren't generally one you would pick for Mom.It usually falls on the family. Very few are prepared for it ....Lannis
My wife's mom is 92 years old and dementia is taking hold, never mind congestive heart failure. My wife goes over to her house every day for a few hours to help her. One of my wife's two useless brothers lives at home with the old woman but he's little help and contributes nothing to the upkeep of the home..........Make a long story short...My wife is at wits end taking care of her mother...Besides my suggestion to fill her pockets with rocks and push her into the pond, it might be time for a nursing home. We are somewhat aware of the financial dealings of nursing homes.....if any of you have personal experiences to share with putting a parent in a home I would appreciate the advice....We live in NY state if that makes a difference...Thanks
You in Rochester area?
Yes,Ontario...ride over and share a beer ;D
Sit down with the social worker at one of the nursing homes and get them to explain how "spend down" works. An elder person's assets are used to pay almost all of the nursing home's costs until the "spend down" limit has been met. The nursing home may have different levels of "care" depending on the person's funding source. It is important to know what level of "care" (including room situation) will be enforced when a person's assets are gone ("Medicaid only" funding).Here's a problematic wrinkle, the son who is still in the house may be out of a place to live. If he sees that coming things may get really ugly.Good luck!
The first several months can be covered by medicare if during the admission process you have her admitted for rehabilitation. If for example she has had a fall ask for physical therapy and maintain the premise that she is there to get better. Medicare will then pay for the first 90 days or something like that.
BTW, I used to work at Mott's on 104 - I loved driving in with the windows down when we were running cinnamon apple sauce!Good luck, Tom
I say throw the brother out and bring in some outside help for as long as possible before putting mom in a home. Personally, I hate the places and even the good ones give me the creeps.
"Putting Mom in a home" sounds "heartless" but might be the only option sometimes.But if she is frantic and panicky and completely unaccepting of either of those options, because her "social filters" are gone, and all that she can express is fear and paranoia, then professional care, away from you, may be all that is possible. Most people aren't blessed with caring for an older relative who can make rational decisions.I've heard people say "It's 100% the family's responsibility to take care of their parents, and anyone who 'puts them in a home' is a heartless slacker."What that means is that they've never had to deal with the situation where Mom is not only miserable but frantic at the idea of family caring for her, but who can live with the idea of "being on her own" in another place, where other people are caring for her and you oversee it.There ARE nice places that that don't smell of urine all the time.Lannis
One other female resident in her upper 90s was as sharp as a tack and had a Masters degree. She was very physically fragile however. We were visiting one day when she said to me that she wished she could jump on the Guzzi with me. If there would have been any reasonable possible way I would have done it in a New York second. She also knew about everything concerning KU basketball and rarely missed a televised game.GliderJohn