Motorcycles that are appliances

[canuguzzi]

What criteria do you use to classify a motorcycle as an "appliance"?

[M0T0Geezer]

The biggest "appliance" bike I've ever owned was a GL1800.  It was perfect. It needed me not. I was a gnat on its back.  Same with my ST1300: Too Perfect.  I put over 20,000 miles on each of them so thay had plenty of opportunity to make me love them.

My greatest 2-wheeled loves  were my ST1100, a 400cc Yamaha scooter, and my 750cc Guzzi Breva.  Just something made me love them.

[Doppelgaenger]

Lack of soul, boring and/or ugly.

The Goldwing and all large displacement scooters come immediately to mind.

[Toecutter]

I dunno.. the current Goldwing/Valkyrie isn't so different from the California/ El Dorado... they're all big, bagged, faired bikes.

[Chuck in Indiana]

Three things. The engine. The engine, and the engine. My MZ is "better" in every measurable way then the Lairo or Monza. Meh. The MZ engine is boring as cheese. (Yamaha single)

[radlefty]

Three things. The engine. The engine, and the engine. My MZ is "better" in every measurable way then the Lairo or Monza. Meh. The MZ engine is boring as cheese. (Yamaha single)

^ big +1 to this.   My BMW K1300s was an incredibly well designed and engineered motorcycle. Outstanding components with an incredibly smooth and fast engine. And boring as hell unless ridden at arrest me speeds. Every time I rode it, all I could think was how much I'd love the bike if only it had either a Triumph Triple or V-twin engine in it.

[rodekyll]

What criteria do you use to classify a motorcycle as an "appliance"?

Any three of the top ten list below:

10)  Defrost timer
09)  pilot light
08)  30 page instruction booklet -- one page in English
07)  energy star on the label
06)  FCCID
05)  can't outrun its power cord
04) Warranty is free; shipping is not.
03)  As seen on TV
02)  music video accessory
01)  awarded as a prize on THE PRICE IS RIGHT

[CalVin2007]

 Yes...the engine. It has to make me want to twist the throttle at any speed just to feel and hear the engine. Not necessary to break traffic laws either...just the visceral feel and sound is what does it. If a bike can't do that but is otherwise perfectly fine transportation: Appliance.

[rbm]

Appliance means continuous operation with minimal maintenance, like a fridge.  The BMW classic K-bike fits that definition.  It has a bulletproof engine / drivetrain which if kept filled with the proper fluids will continue to reward with seemingly limitless miles.  It's not uncommon to exceed 500K, or 1M miles on these bikes. Any motorcycle could be considered an appliance if it gave service like one of these over-engineered German workhorses.

[tazio]

Lots of body work
Can't see the engine
very reliable
& -Huge storage capacity (think Honda Pacific Coast)
..Edited

[Antietam Classic Cycle]

Three things. The engine. The engine, and the engine. My MZ is "better" in every measurable way then the Lairo or Monza. Meh. The MZ engine is boring as cheese. (Yamaha single)

Even the Rotax in my Silver Star was a bit bland. Lots of whirring noises that were louder than the (stock) exhaust at speed, not overly powerful and lacking low-end torque. Most appliance-like "weird" bike I've ever owned. My brother's Pegaso (with Rotax built engine) was pretty boring too.

In contrast, the little 72 degree 350 v-twin in the Morini grumbles, growls, purrs, clicks and whirs depending on the engine speed, along with a nice mini-rumble from the exhaust and honk from the intake. Still very "civilized" though. Very torquey - pulls from a stop with no throttle, doesn't "chug" if you're in too high of a gear for the rpms - it just pulls. Just enough vibration to remind you it's running. 36 hp surpasses the MZ with less displacement. Oh, and 74 mpg average...   

[Jim Rich]

My criteria for judging motorcycles is very simple.  If they make me laugh in my helmet they are good bikes.  Appliances do not make me laugh or even giggle. 

[Scud]

Appliance means continuous operation with minimal maintenance, like a fridge.  The BMW classic K-bike fits that definition.  It has a bulletproof engine / drivetrain which if kept filled with the proper fluids will continue to reward with seemingly limitless miles.  It's not uncommon to exceed 500K, or 1M miles on these bikes. Any motorcycle could be considered an appliance if it gave service like one of these over-engineered German workhorses.

This is the most positive take on the term "appliance" and it fits the K-bikes well. I mean, a bike that's nicknamed the flying-brick is about as appliance-like as you can get. But brick can be complimentary as the Commodores taught us with the song "Brick House."

When using appliance as a negative, it's something that performs a needed service and the only emotion you have for it disgust when it fails - like a dishwashing machine.

@NorgePilot: Interesting question, thanks.

To me, any bike approaches the negative view of appliance when it contains some of these features:
 - Sterile, conservative styling
 - Exceptionally quiet (mechanical and exhaust noises)
 - Power outlets
 - Stereo
 - More than 10 buttons on the handlebars
 - No tachometer
 - Electrically adjustable windshield
 - Heated seats/grips
 - ABS/Traction control, etc. (anything that controls the bike and eliminates the rider's judgment or skill)
 - reverse gear
 - requires two people to lift it if dropped

So - that's my first reaction.

[Sheepdog]

My first bike was a Honda CL-70...pressed sheet metal frame, under stressed 4-stroke power plant, incredible gas mileage; by any account, an appliance-like machine. But it was so much more to me, a fourteen year old just getting a sense of himself. That bike set me in motion...

[Shorty]

I will answer as I always do. If I have a bike that is an appliance, and I want it to have character, I  loosen the oil drain, disconnect one of the spark plugs and punch a hole in the muffler with a $100.00 official Harley screwdriver....

[Sasquatch Jim]

  It must be able to cook an omelette,  blend veggies, butter toast,  vacum the carpet, and be owned by someone else.  The first four features are optional but the last one is mandatory.

[Cam3512]

If you DON'T turn around and look at it after parking, it's an appliance.

[Huzo]

What criteria do you use to classify a motorcycle as an "appliance"?

An "appliance" is a tool to assist you to do a job. From my observations, riding motorbikes is not seen as a job that has to be done, I think that a motorcyclist and a bike become more than the sum of their parts. An appliance is something you can walk away from if it doesn't work properly, a large proportion of the posts on here are because they don't ! And IMO there's the fun !

[Rough Edge racing]

I will answer as I always do. If I have a bike that is an appliance, and I want it to have character, I  loosen the oil drain, disconnect one of the spark plugs and punch a hole in the muffler with a $100.00 official Harley screwdriver.... :evil:9

This is been said so often it's dumb, in my opinion....
 

[JJ]

I once a quote that most Honda's, (cars and motorcycles), are so perfectly engineered, they are "boring..." - - - and of course, that's why we all like quirky Guzzi's - because they definitely have SOUL!

However, when I hear the word "appliance" as referred to a motorcycle, this "cult classic" comes to mind.

The PC800 Pacific Coast!

[MGPilot]

It seems to me that the more:

- The vehicle's speed seems removed or delayed from the throttle
- The suspension is tuned to hide the road
- The vehicle emphasizes efficiency over performance
- It does things for you (shifts gears, turns on/off lights, keeps you out of trouble....heck the Model T owners would include advance the spark!...)
- It creates a serene experience

....the closer it comes to a transportation appliance.

[Chuck in Indiana]

Well, yeah. It can get down to "what's the point?" Might as well take the Prius..

[Shorty]

This is been said so often it's dumb, in my opinion....

Yep. Same old answer to the same old appliance vs. character debate. For the upteenth time. 

[Arizona Wayne]

Three things. The engine. The engine, and the engine. My MZ is "better" in every measurable way then the Lairo or Monza. Meh. The MZ engine is boring as cheese. (Yamaha single)

I cannot agree with you since I've ridden a Lario and own a MuZ Tour.   If the Lario was bulletproof I'd have 1 instead of my 750 Breva.  My MuZ is the best handling bike I've ever ridden but for overall enjoyment the Lario wins in my comparison.  My Breva is a winner too for solo or 2up riding, but it's not a Lario.   

[johnr]

However, when I hear the word "appliance" as referred to a motorcycle, this "cult classic" comes to mind.

The PC800 Pacific Coast!

For some reason I quite like these. perhaps it is that it is designed uncompromisingly for purpose and achieves it well.... I don't know.

[huub]

Even the Rotax in my Silver Star was a bit bland. Lots of whirring noises that were louder than the (stock) exhaust at speed, not overly powerful and lacking low-end torque. Most appliance-like "weird" bike I've ever owned. My brother's Pegaso (with Rotax built engine) was pretty boring too.

In contrast, the little 72 degree 350 v-twin in the Morini grumbles, growls, purrs, clicks and whirs depending on the engine speed, along with a nice mini-rumble from the exhaust and honk from the intake. Still very "civilized" though. Very torquey - pulls from a stop with no throttle, doesn't "chug" if you're in too high of a gear for the rpms - it just pulls. Just enough vibration to remind you it's running. 36 hp surpasses the MZ with less displacement. Oh, and 74 mpg average...   

you should try the same engine as your silverstar in the KTM 600,
instead of 36 hp is suddenly makes 50 HP.
forget the concept of being civilised. the engine is a complete lunatic , rattles at low revs, and completely explodes over 5000 RPM
on the KTM you are short shifting in the first three gears to stop you from looping it backwards.

[Chuck in Indiana]

I cannot agree with you since I've ridden a Lario and own a MuZ Tour.   If the Lario was bulletproof I'd have 1 instead of my 750 Breva.  My MuZ is the best handling bike I've ever ridden but for overall enjoyment the Lario wins in my comparison.  My Breva is a winner too for solo or 2up riding, but it's not a Lario.   

Well, I have a bullet proof Lario, and pick it over the tour *every* time. The Monza is a little better handling bike than the Lario, and is much more fun to operate than the MZ, too. The MZ would smoke either one on a road course, and has more suspension compliance on rough roads. The engine is boring though, so it sits. It'll be fine out in the SoCal canyons with the engine at full boil, but around here it's just why bother? 

[kidsmoke]

If you DON'T turn around and look at it after parking, it's an appliance.

This.

[lucydad]

Any resemblance to a Prius--the most boring car ever rented.  Pretty much all Honda cars, and most of their motorcycles.

Rotax used to make some fiery 2-stroke, triple snowmobile engines....

Make mine something that snarls a bit,  burbles nicely on deceleration, and is pretty.

Time to walk poodles.  I think I will try and talk the moto-rental guys in Durango into getting a couple used V7 Guzzis in their fleet.  Maybe a Stelvio too. 

[blackcat]

If you DON'T turn around and look at it after parking, it's an appliance.

I swapped bikes with a friend of mine, his Goldwing and my Daytona. The GW made such an impression on me, that I can honestly say, that I would be happy to never look at one of them again in this lifetime.