The oddest piece of debris you ever cleared out of the road...Non Guzzi Content

[normzone]

I'd wager I'll think of more as time passes...but I'm an advocate of removing road hazards when you can.

Consequences of such items include obligatory front end alignments, smashed windshields, and worse - injuries.

Let's see what comes to mind at this moment - drinking 9% IPA homebrew and listening to KCRW Eclectic 24.

Just going back a few years - Mira Mesa Boulevard, an industrial area edging on several San Diego canyons. Leaving work, getting ready for rush hour. The light changed and I turned left, went a hundred yards, and...traffic jam. Confused and confounded driver in the left lane, and a just-killed two point buck in the road ahead of him. Nobody moving. I put my flashers on - indicated to the driver that he should wait for me, dragged the deer up on the concrete island, returned to my truck and we started moving again.

Same commute a few years later - Hwy. 15 North on my way home. Usual stop and go, stop and go. At one of the stops, I saw a roofer's hammer on the white line a car length ahead of me. Flashers on, cautiously get out and retrieve. As I'm going back to my truck, people are yelling at me for getting out of my car and stopping traffic...I still have the hammer, but it's bent. That thing could have easily killed somebody.

Which leads me to why I started this post. I've learned that when you get out of your vehicle to retrieve these artifacts of human stupidity, you should make a big deal of it so that the spectators poised to go stop to see why you're doing this, and hopefully prevent them running over you.

Stopped at a light, on my way  to lunch. Chunk of metal in the crosswalk ahead of me at a red light. Flashers on, get out, get it. Twenty pounds of reinforced casting - a square foot chunk of a manhole cover. WTF? I wave it in the air, shaking my head. As traffic starts to move and I get in my car, I hear " Good one! " First praise I've ever gotten for doing my public duty..

[Kiwi_Roy]

A hose fitting, I think it's called a branch from the local fire brigade, they were sure glad to get that back.

[Vasco DG]

Not so much 'dangerous' per se but last year I was driving back to Bungendore from Queanbeyan and my eyes just noticed something at the side of the road. It was one of those "WTF?" Moments but there was nothing behind me so I slowed down and chucked a U-Turn and went back thinking "That can't of been what it looked like!" But it was! A large yellow vibrator! And it still had batteries in and worked! :D

I gingerly picked it up and took it home and washed it, (Thoroughly!) and took it down the pub where it caused a degree of hilarity that afternoon! As I said, not dangerous but I suppose you could of taken someone's eye out with it!

What still mystifies me is how it got there? I mean you can't imagine someone using it in their car and then thinking the best thing to do would be chuck it out on the side of the road??? There really is now't queer as folks!

Pete

[normzone]

Oh, that's GOOD. I don't usually get the chance to return things. I have returned a wallet I found run over in a parking lot - had to go to the credit union and have them trace a receipt for a withdrawal. There was about $200 in it... I told the credit union - "Look, either you help me find this student and they get it back or  I keep it, nothing in between. They pulled tricks with their IT folks and the database and he met me and I returned it. He offered to let me keep the cash and I let him force $20 on me.

The fire department? Oh yeah, good karma.

I knew a girl, hot redhead, a little spacey and not the sharpest tool in the shed. She was going down the freeway one day and saw a motorcycle rear wheel sticking out of a bush. Those of us who know her would not have expected much at this point - she was known for clueless left turns, dumb lane changes, and such.

But she got off the freeway, circled back and pulled over at the spot, checked it out.

She found an unconcious motorcycle police officer in the bushes with his bike - some fool had run him off the road.

Pre-cellphone era - she used his bike radio to summon help.

About a month later she did another of her usual trademark bonehead moves, and she got pulled over by an officer. He asked her the usual questions, and then said..." Wait...are you [insert hot redhead lame driver name here] ? " and she said " Yes..".

He handed her back her license, implored her to be more careful, and went on his way. Apparently  the story had circulated...

[normzone]

[Vasco DG] I can guess at some stories, but it would be guessing. A good time off road, and you know how often people leave something on top of the car and drive off. I have a policy - if I set something on top of the car, my keys have to go there also. Saves me a world of hurt. So tell me honestly, did it smell more of road or life? No falsehoods now  :drool

[jeff]

4 years ago commuting by Guzzi on the freeway in the morning traffic headed into a brilliant sunrise (my favorite time of the day) I came across a bicycle blocking the left lane. All traffic had swerved on to the shoulder to avoid it.

I pulled over to the side of the road after passing it, walked back and dragged it off the freeway. Can't imagine what would have happened if I had been blinded by the sunrise and hit the thing with the Jackal. Can't understand why the first person to see it did not stop and clear it from the lane.

[rocketcaptain]

Too many times, I've come across bits and pieces of a Moto Guzzi Bassa on my return trips.  Also coffee thermos cups, tools, cellphones etc. that were last seen resting on the bumper of my work van.  I am still missing a large yellow personal item that my wife uses to stay secure on the pillion seat.

[Wayne Orwig]

I am still missing a large yellow personal item that my wife uses to stay secure on the pillion seat.

 :BEER:

[rdbandkab]

A turtle.

[CalVin2007]

  I did a double-take as I passed a large object in the opposite lane one day after work....a complete 550# 318 Chrysler V8 engine. It must have fallen from a junk-man's truck and was smack-dab in the center of the lane. Took a lot of grunt to roll and argue that sucker off to the shoulder. Imagine finding THAT in the dark!

   Terry

[blackbuell]

Dead Javalina from a road in the Chiricahua Mts. of SE Arizona (I lived in a tent there for 5 summers). I wanted to cut off its head to keep for a specimen (I'm a biologist), but my passenger objected, so I just moved it to the roadside. Many times I have moved western diamondbacks (rarely a Mojave) that were basking on roads; they usually got pissed off and objected to my action, though I probably saved a few of them--locals there don't hesitate to take them for their skins.

Jon

[Caffeineo]

Many years ago riding between Lucerne and Barstow (who knows why?) when I saw something in the middle of the road. Turned around and picked up a turtle and set him loose off in the desert.

Another time in Torrance I saw a surf board in the road and causing some traffic back up. I pulled it out of the road and hung out waiting for the owner to come back and get it. After about 10 minutes I decided that had no clue so I kept it. One beautiful day I decided to go surfing as I had never done that before. Did not look so hard. Needless to say I never made it past the breakers and the small 1-2 foot waves just kicked my arse.  :-[

[Motogogo]

One night on the Guzzi I stopped to roll a 5' log off a dark highway, a group of kids had put there for entertainment ... caught one of them hiding then running away and we went and had a talk with his Dad.

[Penderic]

In stop and go traffic I drove my Goldwing over some kind of anchor - in the middle of the road, and all the cars in front of me were just clearing it --- but I didnt!

I saw it when it appeared from under the car in front of me, OMG! but lucky I hit it straight on and I had instinctively stood up and timed the throttle and my weight shift to lighten the front end, (years of riding dirt bikes), enough to keep under control - the bike went up 10" in the air but went straight ahead as each wheel hit. The really strange thing at the time was that I was not going very fast, maybe 20 mph, and it felt like it happening in slow motion ... bump  bump!

If I were not standing up on the pegs I am sure I would have been tossed off and then the car behind would have run over me!

[rocketcaptain]

"If I were not standing up on the pegs I am sure I would have been tossed off and then the car behind would have run over me!"

Now, wouldn't the guy that ran you over have a cool story to tell..."So, onetime I ran over a guy, a Gold Wing, and a boat anchor".

[youcanrunnaked]

On Florida's highways, dial *FHP from any cell phone and the Highway Patrol will come and safely block traffic while removing the offending item.  Much safer than the DIY option, IMO.

In answer to your question, while I didn't remove it myself (I called Highway Patrol):  A couch.

[Stormtruck2]

East side of Indianapolis I-70 where the four lanes each side drop to two lanes each side, removed (helped) a teen age girls body.  I was trucking at the time and was was in the #3 lane.  There are apartment houses on the south side of 70, and stores on the north side.  A group of kids, rather than walking the 1/4 mile west to the overpass decided to risk running across I-70.  I observed this girl get hit and fly and land partially into the #2 and #3 lanes.  I stopped the truck just before her body, blocked traffic and called 911.  ISP responded quickly, their barracks were at that exit, then EMS.  Helped EMS load tha sad broken body of the young lady into the ambulance, and file the witness statement.  Made the rest of my run to the east coast suck.  I had to call my daughters and talk to them.  Never have had a body affect me that way.  To this day it makes me sad to recall it.

[SmithSwede]

Turtles!

I don't know how many turtles I've rescued over the decades.  A habit I picked up as a child from my Dad--remember him stopping the station wagon one hot summer day in Georgia to pick up a turtle.  A habit

If there are turtles in heaven, I expect there will be cheering when I arrive.

[twodogs]

Bummer Stormtruck2, now for something a little lighter, I had to swerve to miss a really nice wheel barrel that the concrete boys use on 80 at the 240 yard stick, the next pickup got it before I could get stopped, the worst one was coming back from Daytona on a bagger in 2002 in Macon Ga. when a lowboy lost its big ass ramp off the trailer in front of me on a bridge, I swerved to miss it while braking really hard only to have the car in the next lane paste it and throw it back in front of me, almost got side swiped and rear ended all in one shot, I had to throw my shorts away :bike

[Guzzistajohn]

That's interesting timing for this thread, I found a new blanket right in front of my house yesterday next to the road (still had the price tag) Not long ago I found a 6 foot level. before that a kids booster seat for a car. No need for that, It went to the trash.

Also found a Stihl chansaw in Colorado. I was in prety good shape, stihl have it ;D

[lucydad]

Hmmm...

Midland, TX at dusk:  migrating-breeding tarantulas crossing the road to the airport..was in my 84 Corvette on way out of town...big tires, and squashed dozens.  Found them later in the wheel wells, etc, very nice yellow-orange guts.

Houston freeways, seen it all:  couches, small appliances, ladders, carpet, toys of all variety, blowing bags, plywood.  This one took the cake though, rolling down a section of the Southwest Freeway:  a bowling ball.  It was in the center median. Splain that one bubba?  

Had a chrome hub cap come frisbeeing down the same freeway at me when I had my Ninja---really hauling ass, barely missed it.  

Skunks and armadillos and possums by the barrel.  In Tunis, Tunisia, every spring:   dead kitten season on the La Marsa Highway:  dozens of them...wild critters, lost count of how many I smooshed in my Peugeot 505 Break.  

Brazos Bend Park, on a slow park road-- and they warn you:  alligators, big ones, small ones-- moving about the various levees and swamps and lakes.  Give them some room.  Then there are the feeding vultures on highway 36:  best to slow down and give them space too, if they decide to fly, not pretty.

[Phang]

Durian husks  >:(

Regarded by many people in southeast Asia as the "king of fruits", the durian is distinctive for its large size, strong odour, and formidable thorn-covered husk. The fruit can grow as large as 30 centimetres (12 in) long and 15 centimetres (6 in) in diameter, and it typically weighs one to three kilograms (2 to 7 lb). Its shape ranges from oblong to round, the colour of its husk green to brown, and its flesh pale yellow to red, depending on the species.

[sturgeon]

On the subject of turtles, if you're trying to do something nice for the turtle, as opposed to motorists, make sure you carry him across in the direction he was traveling. If you put him back from whence he came, he'll just turn right around and cross again.

A couple of years ago one fine Labour Day weekend, my wife and I were headed to the beach, about a 90 km ride. We were experimenting with headsets. At some point I saw two whitetails in the corn field on the other side of the road. I guess Jen also saw them because she started yelling "Deer!!". I answered, "Yes, honey?", which apparently merited a whack upside my helmet. Anyhow, an old couple coming toward us in what my daughter euphemistically calls a "rat van" (wedge-shaped front end) hit the first one to step out onto the road. The speed limit is 80 km/h and they were probably going that fast, and apparently didn't see it. I was already on the brakes when they nailed it. The shape of the van flipped it up in the air over their roof and it hit the road in front of us with a splat. It was like the scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail where the French catapult the cow. I turned and went back to where the van had pulled over to make sure they were OK. Completely clueless. I told the guy driving that I'd help him load it up if he wanted to back up a bit. He declined. I think he though I was crazy. So I had my wife stand guard down the road a bit, while I dragged it onto the shoulder. And off we went to the beach. It was gone when we went home that evening.

I also ran over a dresser drawer in the fast lane of what is reputedly the busiest stretch of highway in N. America. I was on my GS so I just got on the pegs at 120 km/h, crossed myself in my mind and rode right over it. On that highway, nobody in their right mind would ever get out of their car, let alone even stop. I took the next exit, checked my drawers, and got a coffee to slow my heart rate  :o

[Penderic]

Surprized - no one has come across one of these...

[Stormtruck2]

quote author=Penderic link=topic=69446.msg1075340#msg1075340 date=1399749159]
Surprized - no one has come across one of these...

[/quote]

When I come to a fork in the road, I TAKE IT! :D

[M0T0Geezer]

Once on E-470 near Denver my Breva 750 and I had to dodge a metal lawn chair sitting in the middle of the freeway.  View of it was hidden by a curve and an SUV in the lane on my right.

Another time on I-25 near Denver we had to dodge 8-10 flying real estate yard signs, the all-metal kind, that had gone airborne out of the back of an open pickup truck.  The whole thing was hidden by a big Class A RV in front of me which swerved to miss them, presenting me with a cloud of flying steel.  I hit one of the leg/spears which blew my front tire (a brand new one dammit).  Lucky to be alive.

Anytime you're driving the cage and see any open pickup carrying a load of unsecured schit (they're everywhere), have a passenger 911 and report the license tag.

'Geezer

[nunzio]

Bangladesh , 1976

Dead bodies put across the road.
Had to pay "toll" to have the body put to the side of the road so we could continue.
When they had enough money they would bury the body.....Alan

[Penderic]

 :o

[YnotGuzzi]

As a LEO (retried). I saw too many weird thing in the road. Everything from watches to weather vanes to a mattress with a couple on it doing the horizontal mambo. One thing I saw really sticks with me to this day. It was a hi-top basketball shoe with a human foot still in it! It belonged to an accident victim who cashed a three wheeled home-made contraption and was ejected from it and flew in to a guard rail. The sharp edge of the rail removed both of his feet with surgical precision. He lived to inherit his father's car dealership. To this day I believe this is the reason the ends of guard rails are now buried in the ground.

[injundave]

Also as a former LEO and working on the motorway (freeway to you yanks) in Auckland, NZ's largest city, I picked up a 4-tine pitchfork one afternoon and on another occasion, a 41 piece, 1/2 inch drive socket set. I still have both.

One night I was stopped at a crash site and picked up a polaroid of a very nice looking and totally naked young woman sitting on a bed smoking a cigarette. Still got that too.