Condensed Milk (ngc, NOT AN OIL THREAD)

[rodekyll]

Once again the town is out of milk.  Sometimes it's the eggs, and once when it got really cold, the ice cream melted.  But no milk happens, especially in the winter when these storms keep the supply canoe away, or everything on board the barge freezes.  Oh, there's some soy milk and coconut milk and probably milksnake milk in the ethnic asile, but the dairy shelves are bare.

When this happens I break into my stash of condensed milk -- you know -- the canned stuff -- for my morning coffee.  It tastes like crap, but what are you going to do?  The powdered stuff turns to a lump in the humidity here, and all we have are pictures of the old dairy farm out the road.  When this happened back when I was a kid, until they changed the law, ma took to milking passing grizzlies for the baby's dinner.  It was hard on the bears.  Those of you who've been paying attention know my mom was blind and couldn't tell the poor things apart.  It wasn't so bad when an old sow got overmilked -- I mean -- it's a bear after all -- it can leave it it doesn't like it there.  But you could tell when she got mixed up and overmilked the boars -- darn things would be lined up around the block until traffic control arrived with rock music and M-80's.

But I digress. 

My one problem with the condensed milk is that it's the reader's digest version -- needs to be expanded a bit to make perfect sense.  I pore over the labels (pun intended) looking for the ratio of vodka or whatever to add so's to have real milk, but where they assure me that no cows were harmed in the making of this milk, that it has the dairy council's official okey-dokey (gratuitous M*A*S*H content -- dusty -- did I spell it right?), and a pull-date just outside of mine, there is nothing to suggest that once condensed, a milk can ever be uncondensed.

Anyone know the proper ratio of milk to mixer?

[twhitaker]

Most of them are 1:1 as in they condensed out 50% of the liquid [water].

[PeteS]

Condensed milk was my Dad's preferred coffee creamer. It has sugar and maybe other stuff added. Evaporated milk comes in the same kind of can but not sweetened. Neither tasted like milk to me but I think if you wanted to end with something close milk you would start out with evaporated milk.

Pete

[rodekyll]

This is normal condensed milk, not the sweetened stuff.  in America they call it evaporated, but ours is in French on account of the Canadians bought the food store and have been systematically replacing regular food with the bilingual kind.  So I was 'translating'  . . . .    ::)

[Perazzimx14]

Why not get a vacuum sealer w/ canisters and put the powdered milk in there or even seal a days ration in vacuum bags?

[dlapierre]

 Is the powdered milk of the skim variety...no fat?
I was chatting with a dairy fellow recently about that and he said the powdered milk replacer they use for calves is pretty good and has fat in it. Might try that.
Once upon a time you could buy better quality powdered milk. I dunno why they now seem only produce the skim variety for people. ;)

[rodekyll]

I've seen that powdered river herd -- dust in the wind, Dusty.  Dust in the wind.

We do the canned rather than powdered because it last longer on a shelf and in the go-kit.  It's generally good until the can rots.  Powdered isn't really 'dry' milk.  If you shrink wrap it, it turns into an insoluble lump, and if it doesn't it will when you unshrinkwrap it and the wet air marinates the powder.

[oldbike54]

David , my great uncle Cyrus was killed in the great powdered cow war in 19 ought 7 . One little known fact is that the vast powdered cow herds of the Southern Zambezi region were seeded by the herds of the lower Powdered River in Oklahoma after the blight of 19 ought 9 wiped out the entire S.Z.R herd .

  Dusty

[bigbikerrick]

Man, one can sure tell we are in the middle of winter!  ;D......Not to worry, Guys , spring is just around the corner!   ::)
Rick.

[not-fishing]

You're using the wrong "creamer" then again you're probably not Scotch-Irish.

May I suggest this or some other high volume, high proof, least expensive substitute.



Then add some - the cheapest substitute you can find:  

My recipe is in a large mug, three fingers of coffee, 5 Mississippi's of Scotch and a jigger of Bailey's.  Just don't operate power tools or drive machinery for a while after having coffee.

[rboe]

Grew up with powered milk. Hate the stuff. We also had evaporated milk for some reason (cooking?). That makes for great hot chocolate additive. I really like the taste of it for some reason. Got it mixed it up with Condensed Milk once; cold shiver, not what I was looking for and way way too sweet.

Not a drinker but in the winter it is especially ill advised as it lowers your resistance to freezing to death. On the other hand, that would solve your milk shortage.....  ::)

[Perazzimx14]

Is the powdered milk of the skim variety...no fat?
I was chatting with a dairy fellow recently about that and he said the powdered milk replacer they use for calves is pretty good and has fat in it. Might try that.
Once upon a time you could buy better quality powdered milk. I dunno why they now seem only produce the skim variety for people. ;)

One of my customers is very large butter manufacturer. The secondary product is dried milk. The goal is to get all the butterfat for butter and then dry what's left over. Fat also is what spoils and it can't be dried. So low fat powdered milk is what you end up with.

[sturgeon]

Canned Carnation in Coffee is a Canuck tradition. Living in northern Canada as a kid, I never tasted fresh milk until I was 9. And when I finally did, I couldn't stand the stuff.

[Penderic]

Don't despair!  More is on its way.  :P

[segesta]

Slight diversion: back when I was in Liberia they sold regular liquid milk in boxes on the shelf--sealed and pasteurized etc so no refrigeration needed until after the box is opened. They still do this throughout Africa and the Middle East. I was always surprised they didn't sell milk this way in the USA, because it stays good for months until opened... but maybe it's a cultural thing, Americans can't stand to think of milk that isn't cold all the time.
But it seems like it would solve the OP's problem.

[charlie b]

Slight diversion: back when I was in Liberia they sold regular liquid milk in boxes on the shelf--sealed and pasteurized etc so no refrigeration needed until after the box is opened. They still do this throughout Africa and the Middle East. I was always surprised they didn't sell milk this way in the USA, because it stays good for months until opened... but maybe it's a cultural thing, Americans can't stand to think of milk that isn't cold all the time.
But it seems like it would solve the OP's problem.

It's because it is radiated.  At least that's how it was in Germany.  Kills the stuff that makes it go bad without refrigeration.

Americans won't touch anything that has been radiated.  :)

[redrider]

Might I suggest a wet nurse? How are things in the "Infant Department"? Mother of Invention comes to mind.

[pyoungbl]

Slight diversion: back when I was in Liberia they sold regular liquid milk in boxes on the shelf--sealed and pasteurized etc so no refrigeration needed until after the box is opened. They still do this throughout Africa and the Middle East. I was always surprised they didn't sell milk this way in the USA, because it stays good for months until opened... but maybe it's a cultural thing, Americans can't stand to think of milk that isn't cold all the time.
But it seems like it would solve the OP's problem.

We got the same thing in Germany.  It has a shelf life measured in eons, or at last seemed to.  I see it in our local cheap ass supermarket, probably in the upscale ones too.  Parmalat was the brand I was familiar with.  Sailors liked it because it was a good alternative for a long journey.  Parmalat uses a Ultra High Temperature (UHT) process..it is not radiated or whatever that process is.  The stuff is whole milk, not the non fat stuff so all those non fat cows are saved for other medical uses.  Me, I'll take a fat cow any time....it's the dead of winter and it's cold even here in Virginia.

Peter Y.

[fotoguzzi]

it's a tough world once you loose your Mom.

[Chuck in Indiana]

RK, you gotta be careful. Dorcia said when she was in the girl scouts.. for one of her badges she had to make cocoa out of three kinds of milk. Condensed, powdered, and regular milk. Anyone that knows her knows that she's a serious chocoholoic, and she figured that was a win win win.
She said after that concoction, it was a really long time before she ever drank any kind of chocolate and milk again.. ;D

[rodekyll]

I do like evaporated milk on my choco-rice krispies. 

So the serious reply to this silly topic is equal parts ev milk/water?

[twhitaker]

I remember asking myself the same question......befor e I read the can and it said something to the effect 50% of the liquid had been removed.

[Mayor_of_BBQ]

I actually keep EVAPORATED not Sweetened CONDENSED milk on hand just for coffee

It's good

For me sweetened condensed milk is for creme caramel, key lime pie, or horchata  and not much good for anything else


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[Mayor_of_BBQ]

As to powdered milk, I use the heck out of it.. But for pâté, sausage, meatloaf, or meatballs only


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[Mayor_of_BBQ]

You can also make a decent easy caramel by sinking a can of sweetened condensed in a pot of boiling water for about 20 min

Best vanilla ice cream topping ever


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[Pfaff!]

Once again the town is out of milk.  Sometimes it's the eggs, and once when it got really cold, the ice cream melted.  But no milk happens, especially in the winter when these storms keep the supply canoe away, or everything on board the barge freezes.  Oh, there's some soy milk and coconut milk and probably milksnake milk in the ethnic asile, but the dairy shelves are bare.

When this happens I break into my stash of condensed milk -- you know -- the canned stuff -- for my morning coffee.  It tastes like crap, but what are you going to do?  The powdered stuff turns to a lump in the humidity here, and all we have are pictures of the old dairy farm out the road.  When this happened back when I was a kid, until they changed the law, ma took to milking passing grizzlies for the baby's dinner.  It was hard on the bears.  Those of you who've been paying attention know my mom was blind and couldn't tell the poor things apart.  It wasn't so bad when an old sow got overmilked -- I mean -- it's a bear after all -- it can leave it it doesn't like it there.  But you could tell when she got mixed up and overmilked the boars -- darn things would be lined up around the block until traffic control arrived with rock music and M-80's.

But I digress. 

My one problem with the condensed milk is that it's the reader's digest version -- needs to be expanded a bit to make perfect sense.  I pore over the labels (pun intended) looking for the ratio of vodka or whatever to add so's to have real milk, but where they assure me that no cows were harmed in the making of this milk, that it has the dairy council's official okey-dokey (gratuitous M*A*S*H content -- dusty -- did I spell it right?), and a pull-date just outside of mine, there is nothing to suggest that once condensed, a milk can ever be uncondensed.

Anyone know the proper ratio of milk to mixer?

Humans who's passed the age of 13 shouldnt drink milk at all, unless as sourmilk or cheese.
Cows milk is intended for calves.