Roperisms

[80CX100]

       While lazily wasting time in glorious fashion on a beautiful Sunday morning, reading old posts comparing the various attributes of V11's Norges Grisos & Stelvios, I happened to stumble across, what has to be one of Pete's top lines,,, the man has a gift with the King's English, glad he's sharing it with the world,,, I'll take a minute and share it with my fellow guzzistis before I head off to seal the grout in my shower, still chuckling to myself.


     "With the single plate flywheel the tendency is for the wheel to shatter. There is a lot of energy tied up in a spinning flywheel and the point at which it is most likely to shatter is when it is most stresses which is when it is spinning fast!

Obviously it's all a matter of personal choice but the FIRST thing I did when I bought the bike that is now Chuck's is replace the single plater. The last thing I wanted was to be blasting across west Texas and suddenly have the flywheel come apart a few inches away from my wedding tackle!"

       

     Classic in my opinion

     Ride safe and often

     Kelly
     

[John A]

I love his descriptions,  Id buy a book of 'em if it was illustrated

[JohninVT]

My favorite is his description of the neon outfits BMW GS riders wear: high viz twatsuits. 

[Vince in Milwaukee]

Couldn't help but to laugh - wedding tackle - too funny!

[geoff in almonte]

Or in a response to the never-ending oil threads....

"Oil is good.  Put some in."

G

[rschrum]

But that's just me. Carry on.

[Pizza Guzzi]

"Shaved Ape" my favourite - two simple words that convey so much 😄


Glenn

[Mr Revhead]

Dunno what all the fuss is. I like my flaccid whale penis

[pete roper]

A couple of these aren't mine! The 'Flacid Whale Penis' was one of John in VT's, I just adopted it. The description of BMW riding gear, while accurate, is also nothing to do with me.

[Muzz]

And who cannot understand the warning about things going wrong,

It's as much fun as a bucketful of hemorrhoids.

[Chuck in Indiana]

The sound of a BMW airhead.. "Parson farting in a bathtub.." 

[Dean Rose]

Clutch rattle = A pair of skeletons fornicating on a tin roof.

[oldbike54]

A couple of these aren't mine! The 'Flacid Whale Penis' was one of John in VT's, I just adopted it. The description of BMW riding gear, while accurate, is also nothing to do with me.

 Pete , you might be dealing with *Yogi Berra* effect . He was a famous baseball player for the New York Yankees from the late 40's thru the mid '60's, and well known for his aphorisms . He has been quoted as stating "I didn't say half of what I said" 

 My favorite Roperism came live , and actually came from Jude as the waitress in a Mexican restaurant here placed an American sized Margarita in front of her . "Oh my , they must think I plan on staying overnight" 

 Dusty

[fossil]

My favourite (Pete Roper on BMW R9T):

"Apart from being an obvious 'Poverty Pack' with non adjustable suspension it's a BMW which means it's got a weak gearbox and final drive that will leave you stranded and drinking your own urine in some god-forsaken desert when it breaks down or blows up! Then there is the engine which like all flat twins sounds like a horse farting in a swimming pool. It's greatest sin though is it's ugly! Not just a little bit ugly either! It exudes ugliness like a pyroclastic flow from a volcano of ugliness! It's so ugly not even it's mother could love it! It's fuel tank looks like some huge, uninsertable pessary! It's seat looks like a donkey speculum! It transcends all normal descriptions of ugly! It's so bad I reckon the reason you never see the wretched things on the road is that the morning after they've bought one their owners catch a glimpse of then out of their bedroom windows and are suddenly overwhelmed by a need to gouge their own eyes out! Service costs will be absurd and they will develop mysterious problems with their canbus a week after the warranty runs out!"

Wonderful! (and the best thing: he is right)

[Huzo]

What I like is the nice mix of adjectives..
Pommy wit mixed with Aussie vernacular is an intoxicating combination. I’ve known a few over the journey and the real secret is to not sound too try hard, like a dying comedian who resorts to the in and out word to generate a laugh, it can be sad when witnessed.
Pete does make some what of an art form of using 100 words when one would do and when necessary...?
One word when 100 could have been.
I would certainly crowd fund a book that mixes knowlege, wit and hilarious anecdotal offerings from a lifetime hanging around with morons and halfwits...!
It would be a crying shame if he went and died on us and took these gems to the grave.

[Rick in WNY]

Was it Pete who said something about todays ignored small problem becomes tomorrows unavoidable catastrophe... or something like that?

I keep that in my head as a reminder of why I keep up on preventive maintenance...

[Muzz]

My favourite (Pete Roper on BMW R9T):

 Then there is the engine which like all flat twins sounds like a horse farting in a swimming pool.

The phrase, "sounding like an emasculated sewing machine" has been mentioned in dispatches.

[hzbloke]

"It should slide in easy as a greased stick up a dog's arse."

And now you'll never fit two parts together again without picturing that.

[Rick in WNY]

"It should slide in easy as a greased stick up a dog's arse."

And now you'll never fit two parts together again without picturing that.

Oh gawd no... I've been trying to repress the memory of reading that one since I first saw it.

[Sasquatch Jim]

 So how does the dog feel about that?

[Mr Revhead]

So how does the dog feel about that?

Depends on the type of grease... Never mind oil threads, the fuss over what grease to stick up ya dogs arse is going to set new records 

[Muzz]

So how does the dog feel about that?

I think yak fat was the preferred option.

[oldbike54]

<sigh>

 Dusty

[Muzz]

<sigh>

 Dusty

Sorry.  Couldn't help myself.  It was in keeping with the thread though.  It is a Roperism.

[hzbloke]

So how does the dog feel about that?

[80CX100]

Quote from: Sasquatch Jim on Today at 09:09:51 AM
So how does the dog feel about that?

    Omg lol      In these trying times; I thank you all for the laughs,,, although Pete does give you easy material to work with.

    I love good writing, probably why I love John Prine, he paints such vivid pictures with simple words. Pete is like the John Prine of the Guzzi world imho   

    Pete is definitely, worthy of a book, knowledge, passion, doesn't suffer fools gladly, words honed and delivered with such a sharp rapier wit,,, in his hands, the pen is definitely mightier than the sword.

    Huzo touched on it briefly, but there is much truth about the simple matter of fact vernacular used by the Aussies,,, I forget his "handle", I think his name might have been Mark, newer Aussie poster recounting in a recent thread about hitting a 'roo, and having to cure his misery with a rock to the skull, forcing the shifter linkage out of his eye socket and welding it back on his bike, still riding it 35 years later. Related so matter of factly,, like it was just another day in the outback.

    If him and Pete ever get together and go out for a beer,,, watch out world, js 

   

     Kelly

[oldbike54]

 Keep it clean fellas . Thanks

 Dusty

[80CX100]

Keep it clean fellas . Thanks

 Dusty

     touche mea culpa

[oldbike54]

     touche mea culpa

 You guys always blow your own cover 

 Dusty

[Muzz]

I had a mouthful of coffee when I saw this.  Came so close to spraying it all over my wife's laptop; I can assure you my death would be not far behind.