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General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: rodekyll on June 08, 2015, 11:46:03 PM

Title: Monkey butt
Post by: rodekyll on June 08, 2015, 11:46:03 PM
 . . .You all know what it is.  It happens on a long ride when the conditions are perfect and you're discovering that part of you that would have been a fur trapper when Ohio was 'out west'.  It becomes a discomfort and gets worse as the ride rolls on. 

Three days in and you've transitioned from 9-5 drone to your own person.  You're feeling the curves and swells of the terrain and there's not a whole lot in your head except 'being one with the road'.  The miles sweep by.  The monkey butt continues.

Think about the transition from work-a-day to where you are now, with the symphony of road, machine, and air in your ears, the beat of pavement and gusts through your arms, and the feeling that you're free to become part of the machine as you leave the alphabets and climb into the twisties.

Think about the monkey butt.

The Aha! moment comes when you realize that monkey butt is the expulsion of the 9-5 the same way that vomiting expels volumes of expensive single-malt.  It's the cares and stress of the assholes and asinine situations of the year evicted from the core of your being in the most poetically correct manner.  It's the veritable shit of your life being replaced by the cleansing volume of your immersion into the ride.

So embrace the monkey butt.  Wipe it clear and know that's the boss. . . the neighborhood . . . the man -- all getting flushed where they belong.  At the end of it is the comfortable bliss of the perfect ride.

Now please go out and report back with a record case of monkey butt.  It's good for what ails you.
Title: Re: Monkey butt
Post by: Yukonica on June 09, 2015, 01:16:25 AM
It's been a crappy couple of months and I really needed to hear that.
Thank you
Title: Re: Monkey butt
Post by: balvenie on June 09, 2015, 04:17:30 AM
A therapeutic ride sounds like a good idea. It just so happens that I'm wearing my red, riding socks in anticipation of a nice day tomorrow. :grin:
Title: Re: Monkey butt
Post by: Sheepdog on June 09, 2015, 04:42:14 AM
I have learned to embrace the burn...it reminds me to stop for gas.

Actually, I find that on really long trips the monkey butt diminishes as my body adjusts. I guess the build-up of ibuprofen helps...

Cool treatise, Rodekyll. Spoken like a true touring veteran!
Title: Re: Monkey butt
Post by: lucydad on June 09, 2015, 05:52:16 AM
Rode,

Have not been on a bike now closing on 3 weeks due to travel/flooding rains/cold virus.  Man have I got a monkey on my back.  Coming weekend looks very wet here in Houston.  Thinking of rolling a bike out tonight with our long summer evenings.  Body appears to be pretty much back to normal. 

Can't wait for the day when I have that 4 car garage, and retired.  Its coming in about 10-11 months.

Nice dialog, you are a talented writer with truth to tell. :1:
Title: Re: Monkey butt
Post by: Waltr on June 09, 2015, 06:36:52 AM
  There was an episode of Taxi when everyone was complaining  of the heat and  in walks reverend Jim still  jean jacket on.  When questioned how he could stand the heat he just slaps his pants with a cloud of dust and says "talcum powder!"
Title: Re: Monkey butt
Post by: Chuck in Indiana on June 09, 2015, 06:43:08 AM
I think you are on to something, RK.. I haven't had monkey butt for years, but then I've been retired since '92..