Huzo on tour!

[Huzo]

I used to think that GPS stood for “Global Positioning System”, but I think it might be, “Getting Permanently Stressed..”
The cover on my rock solid Rider 3 had become rather opaque and I missed a few exits here and there while trying to hold my hand over the screen in sunlight..(it always seems to be over your back..?)
Anyway, stuck for something to do in Rimini (believe it or not..) I thought to scrape the screen to remove the flaky deposit that had formed.
I think I mentioned it before but it rendered the unit inoperative.
Out with the spare.
When leaving Lunéville (yes that’s really the name), it became apparent that the charge function was becoming problematic. It seems that the unit will not charge from the jack while in operation, so it’s a matter of fully charging it overnight and use the battery during the day.
All quite achieveble but a bit of a pain, considering I left the dock at home in the sure and certain knowlege that the bastard would never seen the light of day.
So much for that line of reasoning..!
However I’ve come to realise that I can’t find my own arse with both hands without it..
Leaving Dijon to head out to the circuit, I was clueless which way to go. One well meaning guy said the following..
“Misseur you leave to the right (pointing left and upwards at a 45 degree angle) and make always right turns, no left turns.. )
I left him armed with this rock solid piece of advice and bloody near crashed into the same sod a minute later..
WELL ALRIGHTY THEN...!
Like a bloke who told me once in Perth when asked how to get to Fremantle...?
Whilst pointing he said..
“Yeah, no wuckers..(burp..!), ya, ya, go stwaight down ‘ere...” (he really meant, “there..”) an, an, the first fing  ya’ come ta is two woundabouts”
He was scoffing what used to be a Hungry Jacks burger in his pie hole, and as he blurted out this incalculably valuable piece of information, a piece of lettuce flew from his gob and hit my visor, covered with what I hope was tartare sauce... 
“I fink vats wear it is, I’m fwom Gosnells”

[John A]

I got a lesson on relativity from a very old lady pushing a large flower cart, selling flowers in Burntwood Staffs while scrounging Norton alternator rotors in the UK.  Woody and I got off the bus and asked her how to get to an address and she told us it was way to hell and gone up a hill. Then we asked a cab driver to take us there and he said why don't you just walk, it just right over there and it was.  But for her it was an insurmountable distance. Sometimes you learn stuff asking for directions, just not what you expected to learn, your story reminded me of that

[Chuck in Indiana]

Great pix..

[Huzo]

Sometimes you learn stuff asking for directions, just not what you expected to learn, your story reminded me of that

Your sage words are well received as always John.
I did learn a valuable lesson that day, don’t walk around with tartare sauce remnants around your gob..
It just brings up a whole load of questions..

[Huzo]

Great pix..

It gets hard deciding what NOT to snap..

[stubbie]

1st, Perth has the biggest population of English people outside of England, Caw Blimey. 2nd, I can't believe you got words from someone who lives in Gosnells

[Huzo]

1st, Perth has the biggest population of English people outside of England, Caw Blimey. 2nd, I can't believe you got words from someone who lives in Gosnells

Hmmm...
I threw away the visor..

[Huzo]

Just a bit of a comment on humanity.
I was wandering through one of the city squares of a well known Italian city whose name is made up of two “O’s”, one “M” and a “C” about an hour ago.
Bugger me, outside a Cathedral was an old Nun who looked like she hadn’t enjoyed a meal since Christ died, holding a dish with two lousy coins and a trace of a substance that looked suspiciously like dog’s piss, (hope it tasted better..)
The poor old sheilah’s feet were so out of alignment that she looked like an old Valiant with a broken tie rod, I seriously doubt she would move more than 10 metres in any given day, she was basically non ambulatory.
Then there’s the other bloke across the lane..
He had been splattered with gold paint to mimic a brass statue and had one of those steel rods up the leg of his daks that terminated somewhere in or around his blurter !
It allowed him to lean at an otherwise impossible angle, similar to the other poor bugger but backwards instead of forwards and he was built like an Olympic triathlete.
But here’s the thing..
The dear old bird who’d done 3/5th’s of 5/8 th’s of bugger all for herself all her (considerable) life, had a dish predominately full of atmosphere and the aforementioned suspicious substance and couldn’t move if the fire and brimstone of judgement day itself was visited upon her, and the Carl Lewis look alike who feigned paralysis, had a dish that you couldn’t drag home with a D9 bulldozer..
Just seems a bit arse up to me.
Oh...
Did I donate to the old lady ?
Nah, I couldn’t be bothered.

[Larry]

You're an idiot Huzo 😨😂 I was chatting to someone in the know who reckons most of those beggars you see in southern Europe are people from Romania who are dragged in by the mafia to ply their trade. She had some seriously sad stories about it all.
We're in Split, Croatia, waiting to catch a ferry to Ancona in Italy, before traipsing north and west. All is good, especially now that summer has arrived.

[Huzo]

You're an idiot Huzo 😨😂 I was chatting to someone in the know who reckons most of those beggars you see in southern Europe are people from Romania who are dragged in by the mafia to ply their trade. She had some seriously sad stories about it all.
We're in Split, Croatia, waiting to catch a ferry to Ancona in Italy, before traipsing north and west. All is good, especially now that summer has arrived.

You’re right mate, I am an idiot as you say.
Only thing is, the Aussies and the like on here will know that I related the story in that way for a bit of theatre wrapped around the facts..
You see the whole point was/is, that people felt more disposed towards paying people who ENTERTAIN them than those who HELP them.
The unspoken implication is that the lady could do nothing to help them because they wanted for nothing, but the street performer “amused them”..
Oh, and for the record, of course I made a donation to the lady and took at least a few seconds to look at her eyes..
They looked sad.
But your main point is indisputably valid...
I’m an idiot...

[PJPR01]

Now don’t get me wrong, or call me old fashioned, but earlier in the day I paid €1 for a coffee and now I had to pay the same again to get rid of it..!

And chucked the piss in gratis...?
I would have called it square..

Huzo....now that's the funniest post of the thread...  :)  Just imagine if they had fined you for taking a piss outside...or you got caught on one of those famous speed cameras.

By the way, why don't you just buy a used GPS temporarily or get a new one.  I found it odd that you went from Spain back up to Paris only then to then go back down to Perpignan?   A bit out of the way like going to Timbuctoo via Petaluma, no?

By the way, have you stopped in Nimes to see the wonderful coliseum there - in much better shape than the one in Rome by a long shot, or perhaps the one in Pula, Croatia?  Both fabulous specimens still standing after all of these years.

No pictures crossing the Milau Viaduct perhaps?

Keep the pics and entertainment coming!

[Huzo]

Well here’s the funniest bit, I’m back in Como.
There’s no chance I’d get done on a camera for that, you’d need a macro zoom to get a shot...

[Zinfan]

There’s no chance I’d get done on a camera for that, you’d need a macro zoom to get a shot...

So no Grand Prix then?

Sounds like you may want to try out the Guzzi Mia phone/gps thingy for your V85tt and report back the surely humorous results.

[Huzo]

I wouldn’t rule that out actually.
I was talking to the bloke at the factory museum in Como today.
I asked him about the new Le Mans with the new gen donk.
He said he was told it would mean his job if he spoke about it, but told me that the new project is on the go now.
Also he said that Guzzi are working 6 days a week, 9 hrs a day to build enough V85’s.
The bloke at Agostini’s has sold 35 this month.

[Zinfan]

I wouldn’t rule that out actually.
I was talking to the bloke at the factory museum in Como today.
I asked him about the new Le Mans with the new gen donk.
He said he was told it would mean his job if he spoke about it, but told me that the new project is on the go now.
Also he said that Guzzi are working 6 days a week, 9 hrs a day to build enough V85’s.
The bloke at Agostini’s has sold 35 this month.

I joke but once mine gets here I'll have the Mia interface to play with.  If a Friday Guzzi is something to worry about what happens if you get a Saturday one??

Loving reading about your trip.

[Huzo]

Thanks mate, always happy to talk about myself..

[Glawster]

Hey Peter
On Yer Bike just called me to say the V85 has landed.  They've just taken it out of the box and want to know when I'll collect.
Trouble is that I'm currently in Whistler, Canada, so it'll be a couple of weeks before I can collect it.
I'm enjoying reading the tour blog
Derek


DSCN3930 by Derek0812, on Flickr

[Huzo]

Jeez mate it is nice..
It’s a first world problem though isn’t it ? Slumming in Whistler while your new bike is languishing at home.
They are now on the floor in Sydney and selling.
I am in the same enviable situation as you, buggerising around anywhere in Europe while my new red/white V85 is in Oz getting ready for me to try to wear it out.

[molly]

I've been sitting back and enjoying the tour and the comments about the V85.
I'm a little a bit surprised that the V85 was chosen, I assume to take over from the Norge. I have recently bought a R1200GS and was surprised how little weather protection is provided by the screen and bodywork and the V85 seems to have even less.
These adventure bikes make a lot of sense when  travelling on tracks or rough roads  but  for motorway crunching I would still prefer a Norge or FJR1300 type bike.
If you look at GS owners they all seem to finish up with barn door screens with a spoiler bolted on top, which makes  a already ugly bike even worse, but that is the prize they seem to pay for extra protection.
Wind buffeting and noise has a big effect also which I didn't really notice when I have ridden a Norge I had to cut the screen down to reduce the problem thus reducing the weather protection even more. Let's hope the V85 is better.

[Kiwi_Roy]

Hey Peter
On Yer Bike just called me to say the V85 has landed.  They've just taken it out of the box and want to know when I'll collect.
Trouble is that I'm currently in Whistler, Canada, so it'll be a couple of weeks before I can collect it.
I'm enjoying reading the tour blog
Derek
 

What are you doing in Whistler, I can never get through there quick enough, the good road is up fast Duffy Lake.

[Glawster]

What are you doing in Whistler, I can never get through there quick enough, the good road is up fast Duffy Lake.

You're not wrong Roy.  Today I've just driven that route between Pemberton and Lillooet, sadly in a Nissan rental car.  There must be very few better biking roads anywhere.

[TimmyTheHog]

You're not wrong Roy.  Today I've just driven that route between Pemberton and Lillooet, sadly in a Nissan rental car.  There must be very few better biking roads anywhere.

It's one of the good roads we have in BC.

In fact, most of BC good roads are all at least 2 hours outside the city IMHO

[Huzo]

I've been sitting back and enjoying the tour and the comments about the V85.
I'm a little a bit surprised that the V85 was chosen, I assume to take over from the Norge. I have recently bought a R1200GS and was surprised how little weather protection is provided by the screen and bodywork and the V85 seems to have even less.
These adventure bikes make a lot of sense when  travelling on tracks or rough roads  but  for motorway crunching I would still prefer a Norge or FJR1300 type bike.
If you look at GS owners they all seem to finish up with barn door screens with a spoiler bolted on top, which makes  a already ugly bike even worse, but that is the prize they seem to pay for extra protection.
Wind buffeting and noise has a big effect also which I didn't really notice when I have ridden a Norge I had to cut the screen down to reduce the problem thus reducing the weather protection even more. Let's hope the V85 is better.

I lament the fact that their Father did not use the same level of “protection”, then we wouldn’t have to endure the stuck up, self centred, self serving buggers...
Other than that they’re ok though..
BTW (I used to own one...)

[Huzo]

Now umm....
I am back in Como for a legitimate reason, and sitting outside Monti’s.
I just read a comment about the Millau Viaduc and if my mate François does not call me up to Paris to wrench the wheels out of his Voxan and take them for tyres, I reckon I will go there.
I’m gunna be up in Paris soon anyway and swinging over the old MV would not be too shabby.
I just know I will have a mechanical issue with my Norge half way across and have to get off and “make photo” to remedy the situation !
How about this though for a bizarre situation..?
Today I was leaving a place and was expected to go to their reception around the corner to collect my document (passport).
When I got there  the bloody joint was locked up like a Nun’s chastity belt and somewhat less attractive..
(Than the belt, not the Nun...I’ve always had a thing for them....... )
But as usual I digress..
There was a sign on the door, (but I had to be sure...)
And it read in HUGE letters, “outside reception hours, call the following number...”
And under that was a 9 digit scribble that looked like it had been applied by Leo Bloody Nardo Da Vinci with the blunt end of his appendage, dipped in pasta sauce..
And to add insult to injury..?
The numbers were about 1” tall and here was I locked out about 10 feet too far to be able to read them.
So using my usual problem solving skills, I trudged down the staircase that looked like the one in the Ace Ventura movie where he’s sending the Slinky down.
Now the sign on the door DID actually have two meanings because the numbers were illegible, so I trapesed down the Stairway (and they certainly were not from Heaven), in the stinking heat to get my I pad, thinking to get a shot which I could expand on screen and read..
After trudging down to get the pad I dragged my arse back up to the gate. Sweating like a Whore in a church, I took the shot and expanded it on the screen, still not being able to decipher them, I began to express outwardly my thoughts regarding the Italians.
Just then a young bloke turned up and I asked him could he make out the digits because I was not going back down to get my specs.
He said...
“I can’t read  them either, but I’ll go in and get my glasses, but you might not need to, I’m here to open the reception...)
WELL ALRIGHTY THEN...!
 

[twowheeladdict]

 

[Frenchfrog]

The viaduct is rather impressive Huzo plus oodles of very nice twitchy roads around the area...if you need a bed I'm 40 odd km down towards montpellier on the A75...

[Muzz]

It's little things like that Huzo that help make the trip memorable!

[Huzo]

The viaduct is rather impressive Huzo plus oodles of very nice twitchy roads around the area...if you need a bed I'm 40 odd km down towards montpellier on the A75...

Ok, I’ll be there tomorrow..

[Huzo]

It's little things like that Huzo that help make the trip memorable!

Yeah it is Muzz..
But jeez you feel like a dick.

[Glawster]

There's loads of great riding around Millau Huzo.  Go under the bridge rather than over it for the best view.  Then try the Tarn Gorges.  The whole area is lovely.  We stayed in a beautiful village Saint Enimie.  Also the Ardeche Gorge is good and a ride up Mt Ventoux is recommended.