Saw A Woman In A Bar.....

[sign216]

At lunch time I ducked into this Mexican place for a quick bite. There was hardly anyone there, so I sat at the bar. The only other patron was a woman, also sitting at the bar, drinking an iced tea.  We chatted and I ate my lunch.  We talked about a number of things; family,  the local area,  etc.  At the end of the meal I asked for her phone number, which she gave me.

Later on I called her, and I get the message "telephone number not in service."

This hasn't happened to me in years. Am I surprised? Yeah, I guess so.  Maybe I shouldn't be.

[Kent in Upstate NY]

Either she shined you off or she can't pay her utility bills.   

[Bill Hagan]

Either she shined you off or she can't pay her utility bills.   

The former.

She doesn't like small blocks.   

Bill

[John A]

Maybe if you got a Big Johnson ?

[Sasquatch Jim]

 Or a mean sounding other woman.

[nunzio]

I used to give them my business card and that way it took the pressure off.

Seemed to work.

[ohiorider]

Don't know how to respond to your post.  Are you asking if she was wrong to give you a bogus phone number, or if she'd made a huge mistake by doing so? Personally (without knowing you,of course) I think she did the right thing.

[lucian]

Careful what you wish for, your in Maine now.

[bad Chad]

The way you tell the story makes it sound like this all went down today?  Are you supposed to call on the same day you meet?  I don't know, I have been out of the business for over 25 years.

[Bill Hagan]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJJQ-Ml2a_A   

[normzone]

You probably transposed two digits, and right now she's on the " Men are mean " forum complaining that you didn't call.

Parse out all the possible combinations of the digits and call all of them.

If none of them are her, you STILL might meet somebody nice that way   

[Lannis]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJJQ-Ml2a_A   

Geez I'm glad I was never in that business .... !

[fotoguzzi]

You probably transposed two digits, and right now she's on the " Men are mean " forum complaining that you didn't call.

Parse out all the possible combinations of the digits and call all of them.

If none of them are her, you STILL might meet somebody nice that way   

Good advice Norm!

[PJPR01]

...or for fun, go back to the bar, hand the bartender the same card with your number written on it...but deliberately transpose a few numbers.

:)

[Lannis]

Mr. Long-Term-Relationship here has a question for all you hound dog bull-goose studs out there.

So (unlike the video and aside from any moral issue), the girl takes you up on the key offer, and shows up at your room.   Beautiful girl, every man's fantasy.

So how you do you know that this girl doesn't have some wily 21st century bug that can wiggle around (or worse, through) "made for prevention of social disease only" devices, or can be transmitted by saliva or skin contact, or maybe just old-fashioned crab lice, assuming she doesn't have something that you'll be the case study for that'll make your stuff explode a couple hours later?

Not to mention a boyfriend on PCP with a bad temper and a .45 that's been roaming the hotel looking for her ... ?

I'd be nervous as a cat and absolutely unable to do anything except run away, I'm afraid.    How do people get around that?

Lannis

[Triple Jim]

I'd be nervous as a cat and absolutely unable to do anything except run away, I'm afraid.    How do people get around that?

Alcohol, and lots of it.

[Demar]

   How do people get around that?

Lannis

Alcohol

[Lannis]

Two fast definite votes for "liquor is quicker".    It would only protect me - I'd be passed out first .....

[normzone]

Lannis -

Speaking as another guy who's good at long term relationships, and semi-skilled at best at creating short term ones, I have two policies I follow regarding your question.

Fear of cooties has led me to turn down some hot offers..." Regrets...I have a few..."

And when sleeping with strange women ALWAYS have a gun near to hand.

[rocker59]

Two fast definite votes for "liquor is quicker".    It would only protect me - I'd be passed out first .....

The danger is part of the thrill...

[elvisboy77]

At lunch time I ducked into this Mexican place for a quick bite. There was hardly anyone there, so I sat at the bar. The only other patron was a woman, also sitting at the bar, drinking an iced tea.  We chatted and I ate my lunch.  We talked about a number of things; family,  the local area,  etc.  At the end of the meal I asked for her phone number, which she gave me.

Later on I called her, and I get the message "telephone number not in service."

This hasn't happened to me in years. Am I surprised? Yeah, I guess so.  Maybe I shouldn't be.

You explained it when your title said saw a Woman in a bar.    She isn't going to act like you would expect,

[Cam3512]

Working girl?  Probably wanted CASH.

[boatdetective]

Hmmm. Well, as a long term single guy- I may be more attuned to the psychology of dating. First of all- she has to physically give you some indication of attraction before you can get the digits. Somewhat nervous twirling of her hair, reaching her hand out to make even slight contact with you (touching your hand or sleave), longer than normal direct eye contact. Once you begin to look for it- it's easy to key in on.  If you are getting these signals, you'll have no problem getting a phone number.

Nice or pleasant conversation is not enough. Women- especially attractive women- are used to people being nice and pleasant to them. You have to demonstrate that you are somehow different- unique. Did you have a conversation that was somehow insightful, or somehow engaged the way she thinks or feels? Think of Oprah or the View- women are often concerned about situational evaluations or your "inner self".

I know, I know, guys are typically the exact opposite. We'd rather debate the merits of the Pratt & Whitney R-2800 vs the BMW 801 radials. I'm not saying you were getting all nerd on her. I would suspect that you were demonstrating that you were a caring parent and discussing shared experience. That makes you no different than the neighbor though. She would rather see that you were more concerned by how she looks at life- unlike her uncommunicative ex husband. 

At the same time, she wants to see something in you that demonstrates that you somehow rise above the other cavemen. I'm not saying brag about shit that you own (although that certainly is enough to lure in the gold digger type whom you wouldn't want to waste time with anyway). What element of you says Gregory Peck, Clint Eastwood, Bruce Willis ?  The man with a plan is an icon to women as well. They are surrounded by "nice guys".  I'm not saying you should be a dick- just that you have to be "not like all the other guys". Women are hard wired to evaluate men and to choose selectively. If there was another women at the bar, would the person you are interested in feel the need to gain your attention because the other woman might be competition?

I could go on and on. Joe- if you are jumping back in the game, you need to be schooled in the psy ops of the modern dating world.  Most of my married friends are horrified when I break it down, but they have just been dealing with another type of psychology that's focused on maintaining the give and take of a successful relationship (and I certainly won't try to give advice on that).

Jonathan

[boatdetective]

Working girl?  Probably wanted CASH.

That's pretty cold, man.  If she was a working girl- Joe wouldn't be here typing questions into the computer

[Guzzistajohn]

Should have licked your eyebrow before you asked for her number

[PJPR01]

Mr. Long-Term-Relationship here has a question for all you hound dog bull-goose studs out there.

So (unlike the video and aside from any moral issue), the girl takes you up on the key offer, and shows up at your room.   Beautiful girl, every man's fantasy.

So how you do you know that this girl doesn't have some wily 21st century bug that can wiggle around (or worse, through) "made for prevention of social disease only" devices, or can be transmitted by saliva or skin contact, or maybe just old-fashioned crab lice, assuming she doesn't have something that you'll be the case study for that'll make your stuff explode a couple hours later?

Not to mention a boyfriend on PCP with a bad temper and a .45 that's been roaming the hotel looking for her ... ?

I'd be nervous as a cat and absolutely unable to do anything except run away, I'm afraid.    How do people get around that?

Lannis

  This reminds me of that movie with Jennifer Aniston and Colin something or other...she pretends to come on to him...they go to a hotel room, and her boyfriend is there to blackmail him...not good!

[boatdetective]

Mr. Long-Term-Relationship here has a question for all you hound dog bull-goose studs out there.

So (unlike the video and aside from any moral issue), the girl takes you up on the key offer, and shows up at your room.   Beautiful girl, every man's fantasy.

So how you do you know that this girl doesn't have some wily 21st century bug that can wiggle around (or worse, through) "made for prevention of social disease only" devices, or can be transmitted by saliva or skin contact, or maybe just old-fashioned crab lice, assuming she doesn't have something that you'll be the case study for that'll make your stuff explode a couple hours later?

Not to mention a boyfriend on PCP with a bad temper and a .45 that's been roaming the hotel looking for her ... ?

I'd be nervous as a cat and absolutely unable to do anything except run away, I'm afraid.    How do people get around that?

Lannis

It's considered perfectly acceptable for women to ask you to go get tested for STDs. I know- real romantic, huh? Of course, a man absolutely cannot ask a woman to get tested, because that means you are insinuating that they are a tramp. The other matter is that the most common STD- herpes, is carried by an alarming number of the population (predominantly women, BTW). Herpes will not show up on a test unless it is flaring up.

The answer, I'm afraid, is that you really need to be focused on judging character more than cup size.  Guys need to behave more selectively and consider what type of behavior they don't want to deal with. I try to live by the Popeye credo and fully accept that the process involves a lot of filtering (on both sides).

[Lannis]

It's considered perfectly acceptable for women to ask you to go get tested for STDs. I know- real romantic, huh? Of course, a man absolutely cannot ask a woman to get tested, because that means you are insinuating that they are a tramp. The other matter is that the most common STD- herpes, is carried by an alarming number of the population (predominantly women, BTW). Herpes will not show up on a test unless it is flaring up.

The answer, I'm afraid, is that you really need to be focused on judging character more than cup size.  Guys need to behave more selectively and consider what type of behavior they don't want to deal with. I try to live by the Popeye credo and fully accept that the process involves a lot of filtering (on both sides).

The "judging character", long term selection, filtering, I could deal with that.   Matter of fact, the fact that I DID all that a long time ago is why I don't have to do it any more.

My question was more about the meet-in-a-hotel-bar, drop-off-a-key, followed by a one-night stand and someone's gone in the morning deal.   I'm starting to believe what I've always suspected - that doesn't happen anywhere NEAR as often as guys claim it does.    1) How fast I go on my bike 2) How big was that fish I caught  3) How many women I been with ..... Men have been lying like big dogs about those three things for 100 years, and it's not going to stop now.

And normzone, you gotta realize that if the gun is close at hand, it's close to HER hand too .... 

Lannis

[rodekyll]

Once you come to terms with the part where no woman has any legitimate reason to be interested in you, avoiding them becomes easy.

[Shorty]

I used to give them my business card and that way it took the pressure off.

Seemed to work.

Yep. Sing, dance, strut all you want. It's their call.