Riding Motorcycles When You Have Young Kids At Home....

[moshe_levy]

All-

This week's Moto Mouth focuses on the controversial issue of riding motorcycles when you still have young kids at home. Some give up riding altogether. Some curtail it. And some keep on going.... How did you handle it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnV5vW92RF8

-MKL

[fatbob]

All-

This week's Moto Mouth focuses on the controversial issue of riding motorcycles when you still have young kids at home. Some give up riding altogether. Some curtail it. And some keep on going.... How did you handle it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnV5vW92RF8

-MKL

I rode a lot and had (have) plenty of life insurance. No problem.

[Cam3512]

When I adopted my daughter, the only thing that slowed down was riding 2 up with the wife.  Figured I didn't want us both to be wiped out in one shot.  I've had a high risk job for 28 years, so it seemed silly to dwell on my motorcycle riding hobby as dangerous.  Life is a risk, might as well live it.  If something bad happens, my wife and her new boyfriend, and daughter will be very comfortable.   The fact is, and it's hard for alot of dudes to admit,  your family will live on without you.  Instead of quitting riding, make damn sure they'll be taken care of.

Ride on!

[Nic in Western NYS]

Stopped riding 2 up.  Stopped riding until the children were around 18 months.  Before that it was just cruel to leave Cathy with the little, very dependent one(s) while I whooped it up.  After about 18 months she encouraged me to ride since it results in good vibes all round.  7 figure life insurance and Blue Cross just in case.

[Farmer Dan]

When my first wife got pregnant she quite riding and I got better life insurance and kept riding.  Been riding since I was 9 years old and have no plans to stop. Kids will be fine with out my old arse around.

[lucydad2]

Ms LD disallowed until kids were well into college.  Could not handle me going back to riding when they were small.
We were constantly transferring anyway, so we were broke and adjusting all the time.

[Cam3512]

Ms LD disallowed until kids were well into college.  Could not handle me going back to riding when they were small.
We were constantly transferring anyway, so we were broke and adjusting all the time.

Nobody EVER "disallowed" me anything.

[LowRyter]

If I was worried about riding, I wouldn't do it, kids or no kids. 

Otherwise, I would ride.

[guzzi4me]

When I started dating my future wife I told her that riding was an integral part of my life.

Had a discussion about riding when starting a family and told her I would not stop riding. She agreed
and knows that I ride ATGATT  and am as safe and careful as one can be.

Life is too short to not do what you want to do. The best we can do is manage the risk.
Yes, I had and do have a good life insurance policy.

Only you can make the decision. There is no right or wrong answer.

Rides safe and often,

Jeff

[OlDogface]

 Are you also considering giving downhill skiing, bicycling, drinking, smoking, your car, or boating? Each activity has a level of risk that you have to weight against your desire to engage in the activity. Are you riding well within your skills on "safe" two lane roads or doing trying to hang on the pack's tail during rush hour on a "dangerous" LA freeway? Nic and Cam both make great points - if you are no longer there (for whatever reason) will your family be okay financially?

Personally - I did not quit riding since a motorcycle was my primary commuting vehicle at the time. (I had an old beater car too but it was pretty unreliable.) I had an accident when my son was about three or four. I washed out in some sand at a parking lot edge and dumped my bike. At my blistering 3 mph pace, I skinned up my glove, a foot peg, and my ego. Her reaction upon hearing of my mishap was poorly suppressed laughter (she is a 100% non-rider). I rode to work the next day...and I'll ride to work tomorrow.

OTOH - My neighbor loved to ride back in his early 20's. His wife's cousin was killed in a motorcycle accident during their courtship (44+ years ago). She absolutely forbid that he continue riding as a condition of their marriage. He agreed and has stayed true to his word. He often walks over if I have my bike out. I'm not sure he's still happy with his choice.

Might want to also get your significant other's take on things. 

[Tom]

I picked more Life insurance and accident insurance also added an Eldo/hack to the fleet.  The fleet was part of my background when the Boss and I were dating.

[Bulldog9]

I started riding at 9, and giving up riding was never an option really. My kids grew up on the back of my bikes and helped that my wife liked pillion duty..

Of course when the kids were little and needing more attention, my riding was curtailed, and most was in my commute, or the occasional half day ride. I also curbed the 'farkles' and as for $$, I always kept my hobby $$ separate, and self funded. Flipped a couple garage/barn finds a year.

I had seen many friends give up riding when they started dating or got married, so I was very upfront about it from day one so the old story book of 'she made me sell it when we had kids' was headed off. I talked about it when we started dating, when we got engaged, when she got pregnant. There were a few years she expressed her worries and I honored them by limiting my riding and took extra precautions, but stopping was off the table. Good insurance (life & health), Responsible riding and ATGATT are all givens.

Every relationship is different, two way respect is a must, and you have to put the marriage above all else, but when a hobby predates the relationship it is unfair to demand that it be given up. It would be different if some muldoon comes home after being married a few years and a couple kids and announces he is buying a motorcycle and his wife forbids. In that case, I would side with the wife.

There is an old joke that goes: "a woman marries a man she hopes she can change him, when a man marries a woman he hopes she never changes.... and they both end up sadly disappointed" 

This is the bike I've had since 1984. Got married in 1985 and first kid came in 1988.  I rode this exclusively until 1996 when I bought a Kawasaki Concours. Still have it, this pic was taken 2 years ago. 127K miles (I think) All original other than paint, pads, hoses, fluids. A few years ago, the earthquake that shook Northern VA tossed the bike around and the right header and muffler got damaged, so Geico bought me a new exhaust.


 


free

image

hosting

[Jabo911]

Stopped for quite a few years when the kids were young. Not because the wife forbid it, it was financial. Bought a house, cars, braces and all the other family stuff. 17 years without a bike then picked up a used Triumph Thunderbird 8 years ago. The wife wasn't happy about it but didn't say no. Always wanted a MG but it wasn't in the cards until a couple years ago and bought a Cali 1400. And life is good.

[rocker59]

Nobody EVER "disallowed" me anything.

 

 

[Joliet Jim]

I cut back significantly, several years without riding followed by several with little riding. Did i miss it yes, would i do it that way again yes. There were many reasons, wife didn't want me riding (she's had her own and ridden many miles on the back of mine to rallies and have the two-ups to show for it), I didn't want to chance it. To me it was more important to be around for my kids than to take a chance that someone else would do something stupid and either injure or kill me. Insurance can replace the financial loss, but it can't make up for growing up without a dad. That i can say from personal experience. YMMV  When my youngest was 12 I bought the stone and started riding heavy again and that lasted until about 6 years ago when we bought our first RV and riding time decreased in summer and increased in winter.

[flip]

I quit riding for about 12-13 years. That was a mistake. Giving up something that I loved doing changed me somehow.

[Testarossa]

I didn't quit, but I probably rode more conservatively. I broke a leg pretty badly in a ski race when the kid was 8 months old -- knock on wood, my ski accidents have been far worse than my motorcycle crashes.

She began riding pillion around age five.  By that time she had been skiing for two winters, and before that riding on my back while I skied.

And there was flying, too. She made her first trips as a Cessna passenger before she could walk, and later was my Comanche co-pilot for a couple of hundred hours, I guess.

She rides a scooter, and owns my old stick-shift Subaru, but has no interest in riding her own motorcycle, or getting a pilot's license. But man, she can ski.

[ScepticalScotty]

Jill has never tried to change or curtail my riding, but she has forbid our daughter from riding pillion. Amelie wanted to go on the back since age six, she's 11 now and would still like to do it....sad thing is we are approaching the time where she won't want to....oh well.

[Penderic]

[Hymes Inc.]

I never stopped. Even with no life insurance.

[Texas Turnip]

If you have kids then don't ever ride in your car, fly in a plane, visit Chicago, eat butter or even go to church as people get killed there. With this reasoning we wouldn't have any police, firemen or service members that have kids.

I have 4 daughters and I never stopped riding nor did I stop from driving truck hauling extremely hazardous material. OH NO.

No life insurance or mortgage insurance. If I'm dead, some friendly Henry will take care of you.

"My wife forbade me." I'd brag about sex in prison before I'd say that.

Carefree,
Tex

[charlie b]

Well, there are several 'kinds' of 'riding'.  My bike was our second car so yes, I kept riding it.  Used for commuting and errands.  Never went on any "rides" since helping take care of the kids was my responsibility too.  Neither of us took separate 'vacations' or such until after the kids were nearly grown.  Wife had been in a bike accident in her teens so would not ride.  And kids never got the bug either.

I went without a bike for about 20 years.  Got sports cars instead.  Then the bug hit me and I got another bike.  Almost for the same reason, commuting mainly.  But, this time I started using it for therapy from my higher pressure job so would weekend rides as well as a trip or two a year.

Now it is mainly for pleasure but I also find I am not riding that much, probably once a week or so.

Never considered it from the risk standpoint.  I guess being in the military does that  ;)  I always have had good insurance, something drilled into me by my father.

[moshe_levy]

Good responses guys, thanks.

Remember please that by definition, we're in a motorcycle forum, which is likely filled with (mostly) active riders. Obviously, as you saw in the video, I didn't stop riding either. And most of the folks in here, again by definition, are riders as well. But - for every one of us that kept going, there are over 25 that dropped out for many years. This has huge implications for the industry at large - which is what makes it such a controversial issue. I've received about 43x more feedback on this vid than any product review. People are passionate about it, it seems....

-MKL

[ArizonaPaul]

Had kids and left them a few times with their cousins, but they missed us.  So, put a two passenger sidecar on the Hondapottamaus and tugged a trailer and the whole family rode.  Problem solved until the Mrs decided it wasn't fun anymore without the danger of falling off.  They say it is a woman's prerogative to change her mind and so it was.  She is no longer the Mrs and I have never quit riding. 

[webmost]

My wife was a widow when I met here, with two daughters and a son. I never met their father; I fed them. Here's the point: Just cause you're dead doesn't mean someone else won't think your woman is hot enough to take up the baton.

Life goes on without you.

[adventurelounger]

I suppose anyone is entitled to be flip about the risk, but it is very, very real, and actuarially much more serious and potentially lethal than most other adventurous pursuits. The data just doesn't lie.

And as my late internist father said about motorbikes (I grew up around an ER), "it doesn't have to do with you—it's everyone else that makes it so dangerous."

So when it comes to family and kids, there is no debating the simple fact that you're putting yourself in harm's way, for your own joy, satisfaction, passion, identity, compulsion, self-actualisation, or whatever else. And your spouse and kids can be left holding the bag.

Not judging. That's just the reality.

I happened to wait until the kids were a bit older, we had our feet on the ground a bit financially, and were decently insured. Life insurance—especially when you're younger—isn't outrageous. I kinda think it's like the least you can do if you have dependents.

But I'd also say the most important thing is to enjoy every moment on your bike—kids or not—while simultaneously riding with your conscience, and awareness of your own mortality riding pillion.

Wear ATGATT. Slow down. Care for and respect your machine like it's a loaded firearm. Try to mitigate risk in where, when and how you ride. Trust no cage—they are all out to kill you, whether they intend to or not.

Life is much more enjoyable when you arrive home safely to kiss your wife and kids, rather than them arriving to see you in an ER or God-forbid somewhere else.

This, BTW, from a guy who started on a Vespa and now has a 3-bike garage, and has ridden on and off road in New England, Utah and Mexico.

[Joliet Jim]

I suppose anyone is entitled to be flip about the risk, but it is very, very real, and actuarially much more serious and potentially lethal than most other adventurous pursuits. The data just doesn't lie.

And as my late internist father said about motorbikes (I grew up around an ER), "it doesn't have to do with you�it's everyone else that makes it so dangerous."

So when it comes to family and kids, there is no debating the simple fact that you're putting yourself in harm's way, for your own joy, satisfaction, passion, identity, compulsion, self-actualisation, or whatever else. And your spouse and kids can be left holding the bag.

Not judging. That's just the reality.

I happened to wait until the kids were a bit older, we had our feet on the ground a bit financially, and were decently insured. Life insurance�especially when you're younger�isn't outrageous. I kinda think it's like the least you can do if you have dependents.

But I'd also say the most important thing is to enjoy every moment on your bike�kids or not�while simultaneously riding with your conscience, and awareness of your own mortality riding pillion.

Wear ATGATT. Slow down. Care for and respect your machine like it's a loaded firearm. Try to mitigate risk in where, when and how you ride. Trust no cage�they are all out to kill you, whether they intend to or not.

Life is much more enjoyable when you arrive home safely to kiss your wife and kids, rather than them arriving to see you in an ER or God-forbid somewhere else.

This, BTW, from a guy who started on a Vespa and now has a 3-bike garage, and has ridden on and off road in New England, Utah and Mexico.

Well said

[lrutt]

Never missed any time at all riding. Had my daughter out on my 3 wheeler when she was just a couple months old. It was one of the few things that would make her stop crying as she had digestive problems.

Both kids learned to ride as soon as they possibly could.

I actually used to race short track when the kids were very young.

[Cam3512]

One of the funniest episodes of the citcom "King of Queens" is when Doug's (Kevin James) dominant overbearing wife "FORBIDS" ("Disallowes) him from buying a motorcycle (no kids involved).  So, of course he does it anyway and ends up hating it (crashes, rained in, etc.) so much he sells it to get bonus points with her.  His wife feels so guilty she buys it back.

Look up the episode, you'll laugh your ass off!

[Sheepdog]

Like Cam, I had a rather high risk job when my kids were young. The only thing that kept me off motorcycles was an occasional breakdown. Both of my kids have motorcycle endorsements, but neither of them have bikes at present. My son and I have had a few accidents; nearly all were very minor (though I did break a few bones back in '05). Doing repairs was actually one of the things that bonded my son and me (along with cycling, shooting, fishing, and backpacking). I just couldn't allow myself to lie to my kids about who I was...