Riding Motorcycles When You Have Young Kids At Home....

[MotoG5]

Started riding at 19 and have never stopped. Married a woman with two young kids (5&9) when I was 32, adopted them. New wife started riding her own bike right after the wedding. We took the kids with us, trips, bike rallies and daily commuting. I picked up the kids from school and day care on the bike. Same for the wife. Now retired with six grand kids and one great grand kid. Still riding, wife had to start riding a scooter due to serious health issues. Grand kids still ride with both of us as often as we still travel or to local events like bike nights and such. Never even contemplated stopping. Wont until we simply cant physically do it any longer. Riding and bikes are just a big part of who we are and what we enjoy doing. God, family, country and motorcycles are our American dream. 

[LowRyter]

If you have kids then don't ever ride in your car, fly in a plane, visit Chicago, eat butter or even go to church as people get killed there. With this reasoning we wouldn't have any police, firemen or service members that have kids.

I have 4 daughters and I never stopped riding nor did I stop from driving truck hauling extremely hazardous material. OH NO.

No life insurance or mortgage insurance. If I'm dead, some friendly Henry will take care of you.

"My wife forbade me." I'd brag about sex in prison before I'd say that.

Carefree,
Tex

we have a winner

[rocker59]

"My wife forbade me." I'd brag about sex in prison before I'd say that.

Carefree,
Tex

 :1:

[lucydad2]

You guys are just so swaggering cool.  Balls of steel and all that.  Seen this same thread on various motorcycle forums over the years.
Meaningless drivel.  We all have our own lives.  We all make our own decisions.

[moshe_levy]

Agreed. That's why I used the term "motorcycle family." For me it was a family thing, because she rode with me. She decided to stop on her own when we had kids, but never issued any sort of ultimatum to me - that wouldn't have ended well, anyway. But for many (most?) guys, it's just them - their wives aren't on board to begin with, and it turns into an issue when kids are introduced into the picture....

-MKL

[Kev m]

I suppose anyone is entitled to be flip about the risk, but it is very, very real, and actuarially much more serious and potentially lethal than most other adventurous pursuits. The data just doesn't lie.

And as my late internist father said about motorbikes (I grew up around an ER), "it doesn't have to do with you—it's everyone else that makes it so dangerous."

So when it comes to family and kids, there is no debating the simple fact that you're putting yourself in harm's way, for your own joy, satisfaction, passion, identity, compulsion, self-actualisation, or whatever else. And your spouse and kids can be left holding the bag.

The data doesn't lie?

Or the data is imperfect.

The data doesn't tend to separate things like what's the risk for a newbie vs. the risk for a 20 year veteran of the sport?

What's the data for someone riding in commuter traffic in a densely populated area vs. someone riding mid-day, mid-week, in a state forest?

What the data on someone who has a couple of drinks and rides well above the speed limit vs. someone completely sober riding more or less?

The data may not "lie" per se, but a hell of a lot of the people quoting it probably have no idea how applicable it is to a given situation.

Sure high level maybe skiing or snowboarding isn't in THEORY as dangerous as riding motorcycles or say racing cars (tell that to the family of Michael Schumacher, I bet the data will be very consoling).

My wife and I train in martial arts, we ski/snowboard, we scuba dive, we ride, they're all activities we chose to participate in WHILE taking the best steps we can to mitigate the risks. We won't pretend there are no risks, but we're also not going to try and hide in a cocoon. Instead we'll try and teach, by example, our kids to live their lives and considering the ROI for their actions.

[Kev m]

Agreed. That's why I used the term "motorcycle family." For me it was a family thing, because she rode with me. She decided to stop on her own when we had kids, but never issued any sort of ultimatum to me - that wouldn't have ended well, anyway. But for many (most?) guys, it's just them - their wives aren't on board to begin with, and it turns into an issue when kids are introduced into the picture....

-MKL

I've got a little tradition that I consider a middle-finger to the ultra-conservative risk avoiders.

Whenever I've heard that my wife was expecting I went out and bought another bike.

When Jenn was pregnant with our first I bought HER a new bike - a Ducati, because she wanted it and I figured if she was going to ride pregnant I might as well get her a bike with ABS.

Fiona has ridden that Ducati with mom about 1000 miles so far, all in utero.

Seamus too, though not quite as many miles.

[webmost]

Like Cam, I had a rather high risk job when my kids were young. The only thing that kept me off motorcycles was an occasional breakdown. Both of my kids have motorcycle endorsements, but neither of them have bikes at present. My son and I have had a few accidents; nearly all were very minor (though I did break a few bones back in '05). Doing repairs was actually one of the things that bonded my son and me (along with cycling, shooting, fishing, and backpacking). I just couldn't allow myself to lie to my kids about who I was...

"I just couldn't allow myself to lie to my kids about who I was..." === aptly put.

There ya go. That's not about "being flip", Joliet Jim. That's about being a man for your son.

I have a sticker on my KLR says "Safety Third".

[tonUPRacer]

Good topic and very relevant as I have 3 kids under 5. youngest is 5 mos. and here's the kicker I'm 51. Yes, I still ride, but its not that I haven't pondered that question from time to time. I do try to limit my exposure to accidents by avoiding riding at night, avoiding our insane interstate, and always wear protective gear. However sometimes I must admit I push the limits a bit because I simply love the feeling of sliding the tires a bit in a corner. When I do that, is when I begin to question whether I really should be taking those risks. If my wife did ask me to stop I would because I love her more than I love riding the motorcycle, so for those guys who respected their wives feelings, I'm with you. Riding a motorcycle is not my way of life, it's just something I do for fun. When it's not fun, I'll do something else as I have many other interests.

[kingoffleece]

I think it's wonderful that the reviewer took on this topic.
Great work and a mighty fine discussion here.

[PJPR01]

Risk management vs. risk avoidance - applies to motorcycling or virtually any other aspect of life/business.

If you feel uncomfortable managing the risk, then you should avoid it, not for others, but for yourself.  If you get nervous about riding and can't enjoy it because you're too worried about leaving wifey or kids behind w/o daddy...then don't ride, but based on how you feel.

Putting an ultimatum on anyone is a sure way to create resentment, spouses may not support the hobby, but at least be neutral about it.

I ride unicycles (including a 6 footer), road and mountain bikes, drive fast cars, run 4x4 expeditions deep into the mountains far away from town on tough technical trails with cliffs on the sides, travel extensively, and any one of these could lead to an accident if you're not properly prepared or don't plan out for contingencies.  Some personalities don't deal well with incurring risk of any sort, but they shouldn't impose that on people who know how to manage risk or who want to enjoy a bit of adrenaline. 

Just imagine Cristopher Columbus' wife...don't go Cristoforo...you might fall off the edge of the earth!!

[rocker59]

Just imagine Cristopher Columbus' wife...don't go Cristoforo...you might fall off the edge of the earth!!

Or, Ragnar Lodbrok.  LOL! 

[Cam3512]

You guys are just so swaggering cool.  Balls of steel and all that.

True.  At least our balls of steel are not in a jar on the mantle.

[adventurelounger]

The data doesn't lie?

Or the data is imperfect.

The data doesn't tend to separate things like what's the risk for a newbie vs. the risk for a 20 year veteran of the sport?

What's the data for someone riding in commuter traffic in a densely populated area vs. someone riding mid-day, mid-week, in a state forest?

What the data on someone who has a couple of drinks and rides well above the speed limit vs. someone completely sober riding more or less?

The data may not "lie" per se, but a hell of a lot of the people quoting it probably have no idea how applicable it is to a given situation.

Sure high level maybe skiing or snowboarding isn't in THEORY as dangerous as riding motorcycles or say racing cars (tell that to the family of Michael Schumacher, I bet the data will be very consoling).

My wife and I train in martial arts, we ski/snowboard, we scuba dive, we ride, they're all activities we chose to participate in WHILE taking the best steps we can to mitigate the risks. We won't pretend there are no risks, but we're also not going to try and hide in a cocoon. Instead we'll try and teach, by example, our kids to live their lives and considering the ROI for their actions.

Kev M, I couldn't agree more about risk-mitigation. And you're right that the data is/are blunt. So my intent was not to say "we're all gonna die!" but to say the best way to change the data for yourself is to ride within limits; read/talk/think/learn about safety; don't be a bonehead and drink and ride; chill with the hooning and jackassery: limit your exposure (to the extent you can) to other drivers and density. That's why I ride an ADV bike and seek out as much unpaved riding as possible. Besides being a ton of fun, mistakes on dirt tend to be more about you (or deer) and less about distracted latte drinkers, texters, or old people. And always wear proper gear. Then go riding.

[atavar]

Are you also going to quit driving cars? Crossing streets? Going out in public? 
Mororcycling in and of itself is not dangerous.  If you are worried to that extent quit riding dangerously.

[Bulldog9]

...... God, family, country and motorcycles are our American dream.

Guns man........ dont forget the GUNS! 

[John Ulrich]

You guys are just so swaggering cool.  Balls of steel and all that.  Seen this same thread on various motorcycle forums over the years.
Meaningless drivel.  We all have our own lives.  We all make our own decisions.

LMAO!!!  So true.  My testicles are in a lock box.  I talk big but know my vote can be recalled at any moment!!!!   

[lucydad2]

LMAO!!!  So true.  My testicles are in a lock box.  I talk big but know my vote can be recalled at any moment!!!!   

John,

Yes, a lot of the posts just make me pee down my legs they are so manly.  Speaking of which, this little song comes to mind!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CU1m57cRao

My youngest daughter has a saying.  It is so true: 

"The bigger the truck, the smaller the penis".

[oldbike54]

LMAO!!!  So true.  My testicles are in a lock box.  I talk big but know my vote can be recalled at any moment!!!!   

 Yeah , let's take it easy fellas , motorcycles don't scare me , but the thought of getting married again sends a cold chill down my spine  We all have choices to make and a cross to bear 
 Besides , and I ain't mentioning names , some of us didn't learn the first , or second , or even third time , that we aren't good husband material  Plus , having kids scares me way more than any other possible activity , what if they turned out like me ???

 Dusty

 

[oldbike54]

 Oh , and about that Cristobol guy that was hopelessly lost , well , hmm ...

 Dusty

[unclepete]

I have been riding off and on since 1962 . Never accepted riding as a religion or a lifestyle , but something that I enjoyed . Mostly transportation .
Early on , with small children around the house , it was handy to take the bike to work , and leave the car for the wife .
Later my work kept me away from home a lot , and my time at home was very valuable . Easy to take just one kid on the bike , but after a while the twins also wanted to go , and soon there were four , and where I went , they wanted to go ... so we would pile into the truck .
A couple of years in a row I cleaned and serviced my old BSA in Spring , and it would mostly sit all season . Finally sold it .
So ... I did stop riding my motorcycle because of the kids . Not to avoid some perceived risk , but because my time was better spent with them .
The last 24 years , with less demand on my time , I have been riding touring bikes with no pretense of practicality . I explore , or pop in on the grandkids . 
 

[Scud]

Catching this topic a bit late - but similar to others, I rode while my three daughters were young. Had reasonable amount of life insurance.

As for the relationship side, neither my wife nor I would tolerate the other disallowing us to do something we loved. Freedom goes both ways. That said, she was worried about the girls riding two-up with me (even though she and I used to ride together a lot). I respected that and didn't take the kids out on the bikes - but now that they are entering adulthood, things are changing. In fact, my oldest has been talking about getting a motorcycle license.

[Bulldog9]

On the Data - - - Nothing is absolute, it is about responsibility, and fate.

I wish I could find, it but as part of one of my Army schools, I had to build a risk assessment decision matrix that allowed you to put in all kinds of factors. The goal was the exercise of building the model, diddnt have to be military specific.  I build one for assessing risk on MC riding. It had columns for: Age, Years riding, Motor Size/HP, Brakes, Motorcycle Style, Road conditions, City/rural/highway, Alcohol use, Saftey gear (gloves, helmet, jacket, pants, boots), # MSF courses (by number), hours on trip. I also did another DECMAT on what motorcycle to buy, and the conclusion document that I could find, but the DECMAT program doesnt run on W10.....

Factored it all in and I had a -5% chance of having an accident ;-)  It was interesting to see how things changed the outcome. Remove the helmet, decrease the years riding, city riding, etc. It was pretty accurate.

I've had only one accident in all my years of riding, and most of it in the clogged NE corridor of NY, Philly, DC., and many IBA style trips. That accident was my fault, was on 3rd day of all day riding, riding outside my safety envelope (ability too maybe) and when an oncoming car crossed the lane in a blind reducing radius turn on the Cherahola Skyway I had to move to the shoulder and lowsided on the gravel at 70+mph.  Had I not been riding a full padded leather riding suit with pads, helmet, boots and gloves I would have had more damage than severe bruising, cracked ribs, cracked vertibrae (bike tumbled and rolled on me at least twice) I would have been dead or had a broken back.  I say it is my fault because I was riding at or above my limit, fatigued, and like a drug addict wanting more....... Had I been going 50 (still double the speed limit) rather than 75 + I am sure I could have negotiated the turn and not lowsided.

That was on a Yamaha FZ1. At the time I was 43, just back from Iraq, had NO sense of adreneline or safety boundaries.... So I take resposibility, even if the mooshine inspired 68 Biscayne crossed the line.....  That accident permanently slowed me down. I bought an FJR which though highly capable, forced me to stick to that magic "double the yellow" number in the twisties and I have only gotten slower.  4 deployments later too many IED's have messed with my balance and focus, so slower again, and some days I just dont ride.

Dont anybody get torqued off (pun intended  ) but that is one of the things I really like about my Guzzi's. The FJR could get away from me powerwise, but that is not the case for the Guzzi's. I can get as deep in the throttle as I want and not feel over my head. The payoff is character, feel, LOW drama torgue and just plain wonderfulness.

Life is full of danger. Responsible people take realistic precautions and ENJOY!

https://rideapart.com/articles/what-the-latest-nhtsa-fatality-statistics-reveal-about-motorcycle-safety

http://www.webbikeworld.com/Motorcycle-Safety/motorcycle-accident-statistics.htm

[Lannis]

Sometimes it makes sense to just say "What" you do rather than saying "Why" you do it.   Often you don't help yourself any by drawing a picture.

My wife has never told me "Not" to do something, just as I've never told her "Not" to do something.   We're both adults - neither of us has veto power over the lives of the other.   Of course, if I did something really stupid that affected her, I could expect consequences not in my best interests; that's just life, but she would never before-the-fact "disallow" anything I might want to do.

Also, I could have a billion dollars in life insurance, and that would never substitute for ME being the father that was part of raising our children.  If money can substitute for me being a father to my children, then I was never really more than just a meat-stick and sperm donor, and I'm more than that.

All that being said, after riding continuously for 20 years, usually without a car, I stopped riding for 13 years partly to reduce the chance that my boys might have to grow up without me.   I picked and chose my risk mitigation.    Just like when I say that I don't like or use smart-phones or GPSes and get in return a bunch of stupid smack like "Well, I guess you'll like to live in a cave and chip flint and eat raw meat", I sometimes hear "If you quit riding I guess you'll have to move into a cocoon too and not go out of the house."  No.   I picked one area where the boys couldn't participate with me and that had a measurable risk associated with it, and just quit.   

Once the boys were taller than me and riding their own bikes, I got back into it big time, and 14 bikes and a few hundred thousand miles later, it's like I never stopped.

But for me, it was the right thing to do.

Lannis

[charlie b]

.....If my wife did ask me to stop I would because I love her more than I love riding the motorcycle, so for those guys who respected their wives feelings, I'm with you......

YES.  I also understand many here who have had different kinds of relationships can't understand the feeling.  Also, realize that if you are in a good relationship, the other person's feelings will take into account how you feel about something, ie, my wife would never ask me to not do something that I really wanted to do.  I would be the same with whatever she wanted to do.

"Balls" don't apply to how you treat your loved ones.

[Lannis]

YES.  I also understand many here who have had different kinds of relationships can't understand the feeling.  Also, realize that if you are in a good relationship, the other person's feelings will take into account how you feel about something, ie, my wife would never ask me to not do something that I really wanted to do.  I would be the same with whatever she wanted to do.

"Balls" don't apply to how you treat your loved ones.

True.   Although from the lofty pedestal of many years of observing the human condition, I find it .... interesting .... that so many guys are "surprised" by some request of their wife's well after they are married.    Shouldn't they have known that BEFORE they yoked up for life?    Perhaps just thinking with the wrong head, a common enough occurrence?

Motorcycling was easy for us - I picked up Fay for our first date on a motorcycle, and nothing's changed since!   There have been some rocky spots, but four years of courtship assured that the bad disagreements weren't over anything "new" .....

Lannis

[derek533]

I've got 3  young boys (3, 7, 10).  I actually didn't have a motorcycle until my wife decided that she wanted a third child.  I said that was fine as long as I could have a motorcycle to "de-stress" from having 3 kids LOL.  Of course, truth be told, I'd give up my bike in a nanosecond for my 3rd son but luckily, she understands that since I can no longer go to the flying field all day (was really into nitro RC helis), an hour long motorcycle ride at night and on the weekends is my stress reliever.  I don't ride in heavy traffic and I don't commute so in that regards, I think I'm minimizing the risk.  Plus, our roads are so darn straight and flat around here, there's hardly any blind corners or driveways to worry about anyway LOL. 

[Guzzistajohn]

Oh shit, I forgot to have children!

I didn't consider the girls I was dating in those years the "mother" type.


But none of them would EVER "tell" me not to do ANYTHING!

[lucydad2]

G John,

You missed a lot of life's most meaningful joys.

In the end, to ride or not is a personal decision.  We should all respect each other's pathways.

[Guzzistajohn]

G John,

You missed a lot of life's most meaningful joys.

In the end, to ride or not is a personal decision.  We should all respect each other's pathways.

I have plenty of nieces and nephews to "enjoy" and then go home say thanks for not having to deal with all of that. Also a personal decision. I didn't marry until I was 42.

Suprised that you even responded. Must be a 1st