NGC - How to pill a cat

[Rick in WNY]

Had to give our cat some pills recently, and my sister sent me this after recounting to her what a miserable job it was.

It made me a fell a little better after reading it... with said kitty on my lap.


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How To Pill a Cat

Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on each side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat gently in left arm and repeat process.

Retrieve cat from bedroom, pick up and throw soggy pill away.

Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for count of ten.

Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden.

Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into cat's mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill out of foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep up shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set on one side for gluing later.

Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with a pencil and blow into drinking straw.

Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door just enough so that head is showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with plastic band.

Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by a large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

Get spouse to drive you to emergency room, drop off cat at vet clinic on the way. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearms and removes pill from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home and order new dining table.



How To Pill a Dog

Wrap it in a piece of cheese or lunchmeat and toss it.

[Dilliw]

As someone who has to pill a cat every now and again...  That's funny right there!

[PhilB]

lol.  OTOH, we had a cat that ended up with diabetes, and we were going to have to give him 2 insulin shots a day.  Wasn't looking forward to that.
But he figured it out within a couple weeks.  The shot was supposed to be given 5 minutes after his meal, and he realized he felt better when he got it, so he would actually come get it.  If we fed him, and didn't give him his shot right away afterward, he'd come meow at us until he got it.  We did this for the remaining 2 years of his life.
That's more body awareness than my dad ever managed.  Dad wouldn't ever remember to take his insulin, and had to be reminded.

On another subject (different cat), this one had a bit of surgery, and he kept tearing off his Cone and licking his stitches.  We ended up having to tie a t-shirt onto him to protect his wound, which surprisingly he was OK with, so he wore that for about 3 weeks.  Ducati t-shirt, of course.



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PhilB

[Mayor_of_BBQ]

Too funny. Cats have so much agency, it's silly how even after they know you feed & house and love them, they still believe it's entirely possible you might randomly try to murder them for no reason! Gives you a bit of insight into their thinking

[Siamese]

My avatar is a good indicator of what I think of cats.  That's Boo (Kaboodle), and he has a twin sister, Kit.    

I agree, they seem to believe that in spite of providing excellent care, and lavishing attention on them for over eight years, you might just "randomly murder" them at any time. 

I guess that just part of the cat thing.  No matter what, they'll always have some wild in them, and that's part of what makes them interesting.  And aggravating.   

[Rough Edge racing]

 We have a 14 year old male cat that spends a lot of time outside...He is 12 pounds of muscle and not a lap cat ...He has been getting a thyroid pill twice a day for about two years..My wife does the pill routine....She backs up the cat against her legs, gently tilts his head back, prys open his mouth with her thumb,drops the pill in the back of his mouth, then rubs his throat, total time, about 10 seconds..Then gives him a treat...The cat actually waits for the pill when it's time....You have to be smarter than the cat........A dog? You could wrap in the pill in garbage and they will eat it...

[Shorty]

"All good stories about cats begin with a pair of welding gloves."     

[amamet]

That’s great! And unfortunately accurate

[Testarossa]

they still believe it's entirely possible you might randomly try to murder them for no reason!

That's projection. If the cat weighed 200 pounds it would eat you.

Ours:

[bmc5733946]

I'll just say pill pockets have made our lives easier for about a year now. Just drop pill in pill pocket, mash pill pocket around pill, drop on top of her food, check after twenty minutes or so and it's gone. We'll probably find all of them cached somewhere after she dies ha ha!

Brian

[wrbix]

Getting through the cat stewardship phase of my life required me getting a new wife......I’m still trying to decide the pluses and minuses there. 

[cliffrod]

Man alive, anybody that thinks cats are a challenge need a bit of perspective....

Met my current future wife 20 yrs ago last week (Oct 23) at 4:45am at a period 1800 reenactment event.  I had a hard time finding her later because she lived in a tent (for 4yrs) on a hill in the woods in TN.  Finally did and starting making my move... "Come help me do the animals" that she cared for at the nature center of the Environmental Education camp she directed.  No problem for a former dairy farmer. 

We go around the room, feeding the normal snake, the blind snake, the birds, the fish.  Then she pulls out a syringe, loads it & says "Roy has pneumonia and some other problems.  we've got to give a shot in one of his front legs. I'll grab him if you don't want to, but I need you to hold him for me...."  Roy was a 42lb non-releasable rehab snapping turtle.  She immediatley snatches him up, hands him to me and says.  "Here- hold him like this.  don't let him get loose. He's big enough to bite through your wrist" no kidding. 
 
This went on during every similar-time visit for the balance of the chase.  Then she said the vet was concerned about the abscesses Roy was developing in his shoulders from the shot. So he had prescribed some medicinal salve with instructions that we massage it into the abscesses....

Apparently I passed the test that others failed.  Makes doing stuff with many other animals seem timid by comparison.  We miss Roy.

Among other things, Now we've got a few cats and a couple of non-releasable rehab opossums.  One is her federally licensed educational ambasador that she does programs with and the other is a visitor headed to the vet to have stitches removed after having a damaged tail amputated.  His name is Minus.. 

[balvenie]

That's a Masterpiece Rick

[Chuck in Indiana]

We go around the room, feeding the normal snake, the blind snake, the birds, the fish.  Then she pulls out a syringe, loads it & says

I know a lady like that.  Jill is awesome, but..  Well she really *is* a sweetheart, but fortunately for me, Dorcia tries to fix people's problems, and I met her first. 

[rschrum]

how to upload photo on internet

When they lick their nose, they have swallowed it. Ours needed antibiotics lately, we ended up crushing them and mixing with gravy caned food. Worked for the most part. 

[Rough Edge racing]

 My wife's daughter is a CCL, aka crazy cat lady...She has at least 50 cats, about 25 in the house and the rest in a large enclosure outside..She lives in her farmer boyfriend's house and yes it smells like kennel...She is very kind  to all creatures including humans but just too many damn cats... I like having one cat that goes out a lot..We have property so he brothers no one..I enjoy observing them out in wild so to speak were they display traits like a large jungle cat.....

[cliffrod]

I know a lady like that.  Jill is awesome, but..  Well she really *is* a sweetheart, but fortunately for me, Dorcia tries to fix people's problems, and I met her first. 

I actually had a real, good paying office job back then- shirt, tie and a nice Cross pen- and was trying to move ahead in life. When we got to the blind snake that day, she picks up a feeder mouse by the tail,  looks at my pocket & says "lemme borrow your pen." She quickly takes my fancy status pen, snaps the mouse's neck with it so it won't bit the blind snake & injure it, drops the quivering mouse into the enclosure and just hands the pen back to me. Doesn't even wipe it off.  So much for trying to be a professional and impress her.  This happened a couple minutes before she introduced me to Roy.   

She's awesome, no bs or games.  A meat eating Christian hippy with a gun. The wisest person I've ever met.  I certainly don't deserve her.  Words aren't enough.  One of my uncles says the only lapse in judgment she's ever had was marrying me..   It's been a great 19 years.

[Chuck in Indiana]

I actually had a real, good paying office job back then- shirt, tie and a nice Cross pen- and was trying to move ahead in life. When we got to the blind snake that day, she picks up a feeder mouse by the tail,  looks at my pocket & says "lemme borrow your pen." She quickly takes my fancy status pen, snaps the mouse's neck with it so it won't bit the blind snake & injure it, drops the quivering mouse into the enclosure and just hands the pen back to me. Doesn't even wipe it off.  So much for trying to be a professional and impress her.  This happened a couple minutes before she introduced me to Roy.   

She's awesome, no bs or games. A meat eating Christian hippy with a gun. The wisest person I've ever met.  I certainly don't deserve her.  Words aren't enough.  One of my uncles says the only lapse in judgment she's ever had was marrying me..   It's been a great 19 years.

I'd love to meet you both some day..  I said a (really) long time ago.."You meet the most interesting characters on a Guzzi.."

[Gliderjohn]

From Chuck:

I'd love to meet you both some day..  I said a (really) long time ago.."You meet the most interesting characters on a Guzzi.."

You have the knack for the understatement Chuck.
GliderJohn

[cliffrod]

I'd love to meet you both some day..  I said a (really) long time ago.."You meet the most interesting characters on a Guzzi.."

Sounds like a plan, Chuck.  Your creds around wg are impressive, too..  Just understand that We're both a lot more interesting & better looking (at least me) in theory than in person.

If you end up with a hairless opossum (natural genetic variation that is detrimental to survival) she would probably say we better come & rescue it before it freezes to death.... 

[britman]

That is funny and yes I have been there and done that. It is amazing how damn strong and fast a cat can be when in panic.  Since all of my K-9's have passed on, and there have have numerous through the years, all of which were pound bound or rescued from an abusive environment, I have down to two fat and lazy house cats.  Both were abandoned in the neighborhood and taken in by the Wife and I.  We were not cat people, but apparently they didn't get the memo.  The yellow Tiger cat follows me around like a dog and spends every evening in my lap. The large white one, which the Wife named Newman, because of his crystal blue eyes, really has some cat mental problems but he has a home.  At times they really make me was to get another dog, but at my age I am pretty sure a puppy would outlive me and I really can't do anymore of those last rides to the vet, so cats it will be........

[cookiemech]

My wife and I have had cats almost forever, me since I was 16 and she for her entire life, so we've pilled quite a few. There is certainly a technique, but some cats are quite resistant. I hope our two older females don't need pills, because I'm afraid . . .

We had a semi-feral named Jack for 17 years. As any cat person knows, you can never (well, almost never) really "tame" a feral or semi-feral; they are always somewhat afraid of humans. When Jack was older, he developed hyperthyroidism, so had to be pilled twice a day. I'm generally the one who does the pilling and expected the worst. The first two days were as awful as I had anticipated; I had to corner him and manhandle him into compliance, all the while fearing a cat bite (which is dangerous and requires a doctor visit and antibiotics).

Then I took a different approach (and you can believe this story or not). I sat down with Jack, looked at him, and told him that he didn't have to take pills if he didn't want to. I was very calm about it. Then I coaxed him into the sunroom, which can be shut off from the house with a pocket door; there really is no escape. I just talked with him as he slunk away, around the table and chairs. I walked slowly behind him. Finally he jumped up on the big sill of the bay window and crouched down. I sat behind him and pilled him.

From that day on, twice a day, I'd say "Jack, would you like a pill?" (NOT "Dammit, Jack, you're getting a pill!") He would go into the sunroom, I'd follow, close the door, he'd walk around the table a couple of times, jump up, crouch down, and take his pill. We did that for the last year and a half of his life.

[Rick in WNY]

Glad to spread a little joy here, and the cat stories are great!

My wife and I have always had critters in the house. Now, with the kids off to college, it's awfully nice to have the fur-children still around.

We currently have two cats, two dogs, and a chinchilla.

The cats are sisters from different litters, nothing special, just ones born on my parents' farm, but man do they have personality! Both are calico long hairs, Fido and Koda. Fido got her name because... she followed me around the farm like a puppy. I didn't pick her, she chose me. I didn't want a cat. I lost that fight to a cute little ball of fluff three years ago. She is no-one's cat, but I am her human.

A year later, I was at the farm and my daughter saw Koda... and fell in love with that little fluff-ball. I didn't want another cat. I lost that fight too! (I'm seeing a pattern here...) Koda absolutely dotes on my daughter, and tolerates the rest of us. Again, chosen human... So, while my daughter can do anything to Koda, I bestowed upon her a nickname to reflect how she treats the rest of us. I call her... Pokey-Bits! Because if my wife or I try to pick her up, what we get are her pokey-bits!

So, anybody wanna take a stab at which cat got an infected bite that led to her going to the vet and us getting to enjoy pilling a cat for a week? If her human had been home, pills would have been easy. But noooooooo!!!!!!! Someone had to go off to college...

Thus, the origin of this post, but I figured you'd all enjoy it.

Rick

[Shorty]

[PhilB]

Yeah, I'll totally take "shits in box" on that.  I rarely if ever have to do any of those other things.  Shit happens, though, every damn day.  ;)

PhilB

[80CX100]

"All good stories about cats begin with a pair of welding gloves."     

Yup my thoughts exactly, I've only been around a couple of cats I truly liked.

Not sure it would work for a cat, but for my dogs, usually pills in sardines mixed in their food works.fwiw

Kelly

[larrys]

The difference between dogs and cats, by larrys.
The dog says, "My human loves me, feeds me, grooms me, and gives me a nice place to live, he must be a god."
The cat says, "My human loves me, feeds me, grooms me, and gives me a nice place to live, I must be a god."
Larry

[Chuck in Indiana]

Radar thought he was a dog, too. Easily trainable, and was never happier then when he was in your lap purring.
He was a big boy, but not too bright..
IMG_5383 by Charles Stottlemyer, on Flickr
Maine Coons for the win.

[Rough Edge racing]

    This is what our alpha male outside cat looks like when he's  in the house getting his twice daily thyroid pill..Piece of cake

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1V6f5nwCZQ
     

   
  And what he looks like playing a god.....

     
       

[Testarossa]

Panda, who liked nothing better than a saddle in the sun.



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