The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles

[oldbike54]

 Here you go Matt , if anyone still cares .
Dusty

[wheaties]

 ;-T


Thanks, but I really don't expect anyone to tell their story a second time. 

[oldbike54]

Maybe not , but some of the newer members might post . Here , just to prime the pump , whatever ya do , don't ever use the front brake , you'll flip over forwards.  Dusty

[guzzisteve]

Hey, ain't it too windy to ride that thing. No, it's always windy on a motorcycle!!---second time LOL

[Idontwantapickle]

Them: (staring at valve cover and tank with Guzzi in plain sight)  Wow, I haven't seen a Harley like that in a loooong time!
Me: Probably still haven't.

[oldbike54]

Pickle , on a similar note , back when I rode Meriden Triumphs , more than one person said to me  "I used to have a Harley just like that ."
Dusty

[Loftness]

I overhear this conversation between father and grown son:

S:  "What's this one?"
F:  "That's one of those new Chinese bikes.  ...Really easy to work on."

They're looking at a black 2013 Stone. 

"Actually that's Italian," I said. 

F:  "Really?  Huh."  He scratches his head.  "Well it looks really cool."

"I agree!"

F:  "So, you guys sell motorcycles too?  Or just scooters?"

[dawdish]

This last Saturday, after backing over my Guzzi, she says..do you have to report it its just a motorcycle.... ::(

[Idontwantapickle]

This is such a target rich thread!
When I worked for the Guzzi dealer:
Them: What kinda Hondas are these?
Patient Employee: Moto Guzzi
Them: Cool! I like Jap(anese) bikes.
Patient Employee: They are made in Italy.
Them: Where in Japan is Italy?

[krglorioso]

In summer, 1953, I had my first bike, a 1944 Excelsior paratroop scooter with a 98cc Villiers 2-stroke engine and single speed gearbox.  My parents were not pleased.  My mother said to a friend, unwisely within my hearing, "It's a stage Ralph is going through".  Now I am 76 and my 2003 Stone Touring bought in early 2012 is my 80th bike. 

Long "stage", mother.

Ralph

[Lannis]

40 Britbikes along with a smattering of MVs and a couple of /2 BMWs pull up in front of the Main Street Cafe in Mountain City, Tennessee one fine May noon.   We go in and have lunch, come out and are getting on our bikes, talking about the upcoming route over The Snake ... and the little waitress comes out of the restaurant, comes up to me and says ...

"Oh, I love you guys' Harleys!"

Like kleenex or xerox or velcro, I suppose.   Now a generic name for motorcycle ....

Lannis

[Phang]

Two rice boys (well, I eat rice too, just for the sake of better visualisation) came forward to me at a gas station. One of them asked: "Is that an intercooler?"

I squad down and pointing to the alternator: "Oh yes, the belt driven super charger is mounted somewhere here"

then I heard ooohh ahhh behind me ;D

[gclark8]

What's the bike next to the Guzzi?

[Phang]

What's the bike next to the Guzzi?

That's a Kawasaki W400, a stroked-down version of W650. It is a Japanese domestic model, I sold it 2 months ago, gathering fund for another Guzzi.

[oldbike54]

What's the bike next to the Guzzi?

.
George I was wondering for just a moment who would recognize a Guzzi, and not another brand .  ;D ;D

Dusty

[Phang]

That's a good one Dusty  ;-T :BEER:

[gclark8]

George I was wondering for just a moment who would recognize a Guzzi, and not another brand .  ;D ;D,  Dusty

I was thinking the saddle/tank had the space for my grossly enlarged scrotum.  

[malik]

"What kind of bike is that". "It's a Moto Guzzi". " Huh. Where do they make those?" 'In Italy". " They make motor cycles in Italy?!"

[gclark8]

Last year (March) I took my new 36yo GF to the Motorcycle races in the country. 
In the evening, after diner in a Chinese Restaurant, it went like this:
Me: "May I kiss you?"
Her: "NO!"
ME: "Why?"
Her: "I don't want to get pregnant!"  :o

Today, she still lives at home with Mum and Dad, although now rides an Aprilia!

[poorBob]

"I had no choice but to lay the bike down - that's the fastest way to stop a bike, ya know."

I know it's a re-run but I still can't believe anyone is dumb enough to believe this.

[blackbuell]

I had just pulled my motorcycle into a diagonal parking spot in downtown Albuquerque and was pulling off my helmet when a woman pulls up in a car behind my bike, stops, rolls down her window and asks: " I really need that parking space. Would you move your motorcycle onto the sidewalk so I can have it?"

Sure.

Sitting at Rabbit Hash, my Norge mixed in with about 40 other bikes nearby, 30 of them Harleys. Two guys walking around admiring the bikes stop to make conversation with me. (I guess in the minds of some, I look like a typical Harley guy.) One fellow says "These sure are some fine looking bikes." I agree. "Like my father always told me, there are two kinds of motorcyclists, those who own a Harley, and those who wish they did." I smile and nod.

[Subdewd]

Stopped at a hardware store in salem IL. To pick up a lost
Metric fastener, When the worker couldn't find a match he
confidently  declares " must be an eyetalian size"

[Joliet Jim]

1977 me 19 late summer.

Me: Mom Triumph has this beautiful Silver Jubilee I'm going to buy
Mom: Wait until spring and you probably won't even want it anymore

[Joliet Jim]

But in close competition at the moment, is centauro oil pump gear problems are overrated

[redbirds]

Why dintcha buy uh murican bike? Never heard uh no Moto Gutsy.

[oldbike54]

Young man approaches my /5 and in a a serious tone asks me where I got the motor , I say , it came with the MC , well who put that motor in it ? I say , well the factory . Well that ain't no MC engine, , doesn't look like no Harley motor , he replies . Takes awhile , I finally convince him .

Dusty

[Loftness]

How about the stupidest thing someone DIDN'T ask me (or the stupidest thing I didn't bother to ask):

Sold a scooter (a 170cc Buddy) to a woman who'd just completed the motorcycle training course the previous weekend on a Honda Rebel loaner.  I went over all the usual stuff with her outside the shop:  how to start it up, the lights, the signals, the seat, the horn, the brakes, the reminder of an absence of a clutch, etc...  And she was so sweet and nice that I spent a couple extra minutes with some "what to expect on a scooter" pointers.  Then I went inside while she prepped to ride away because I don't like to make customers nervous by watching them take off. 

I came outside a few minutes later and she was pulling out of the parking lot and into the street...with her legs wildly flapping behind her as she searched for non-existent foot pegs.  I went chasing after her for fear she was going to stick her foot in the rear wheel, but she figured it out as I reached her.

Note to self:  remember to tell customers where to put their feet

[DaGoose]

Never say to a do-raged Harley rider, "Nice scooter you got there". I almost got my ass kicked for saying that, out side of a bar in Phoenix, by the fellow while he explained to me in very graphic terms that it was a motorcycle not a scooter! Even though I was standing next to my R90s, so he could see I was a rider not a wannabe. Gee those fellows just don't know how to take a compliment.

[ritratto]

Never say to a do-raged Harley rider, "Nice scooter you got there". I almost got my ass kicked for saying that, out side of a bar in Phoenix, by the fellow while he explained to me in very graphic terms that it was a motorcycle not a scooter! Even though I was standing next to my R90s, so he could see I was a rider not a wannabe. Gee those fellows just don't know how to take a compliment.

Geez... seems to me that tons of "those" folks refer to the rides as "scooters". A confusing lot.

[Slygrin]

Getting off my Breva 1100, had a kid with a skateboard and flat brimmed hat ask if that was a Ninja.
All I could think of to say was that Ninja's were for pussies.




No offense meant if you ride a Ninja. Was just what popped out of my mouth.