Ive Got Cancer

[Dave Bell]

New guy here Rick, but I am 66 and almost died last year of Sepsis and Shock.  I had the same experience when I was dying that you described.  I knew what was going on and have listened to my wife talk medical stuff for 25 years (ER Nurse) and knew, in my logical mind, that some of the things they were doing were desperation moves, but I felt very unworried and detached from the whole thing.  My anxiety was very low.  Strange.

Anyway, enough about me.  Good luck to you in your treatment.

[Kent in Upstate NY]

Best wishes.  My doctor just told me last week that I had an aortic aneurysm and it had grown from 3.2cm to 4.6cm in the last 3 years.  Freaked out and then the Psych calmed me down.  Now CAT scan next week, but Doc says not to worry about it.

My father had one of those. The doc waited until it was 5 cm before surgery. He is doing fine now.

[balvenie]

          "jonesing", sounds like you long for a ride. Good to hear that your spirits are up. Hope a ride lifts you even further ;D

[pete mcgee]

Rick,
No surgery in that area is very good news, surgery in that area doesnt bear thinking about.
Half way through and you are still capable of riding, you are doing well.
Things may get harder in the last couple of weeks, its cumlative and it does knock you about.
Taste, its taken me 5 years and I can now taste about 80% of what I could pre radiation. Sweet was the last thing to come back, salt never left, somethings have a very different taste compared to before treatment.
Dry mouth is another thing that will occur.
Glad to hear you are doing well.
Cheers

[johnr]

You feel that you can ride at the moment? I'm impressed.

[lucydad]

Rick,

Healing prayers.  Dust those bikes off,  think about the future and riding and life lived abundantly.

blessings...

[Graham UK]

Rick

I've only just stumbled on this thread.  You have blessed us all by inviting us on this pilgrimage with you.  I can't pretend to know exactly how you feel, but I do know that you are loved and valued, no matter how you may be feeling at any particular moment.  Faith refined by fire is truly precious.  May you be granted all the grace you need to make it through the tough days and nights, and all the courage you need to really enjoy the better days.

Graham

[dan_s]

Good health, happy rides.

[Idontwantapickle]

Thinking of you today Rick as you have your treatment. My prayers and those of many others are with you and your family.
Hunter

[Bobbilljim]

Hi Rick. Up here in phoenix it was a hot one today. Got up to nearly 100. I hope the chemo is taking it easy on you. If I ever get this blessed Calii running right and licensed id love to ride down and have a cup of, well, what ever you can get down. Maybe you can impart some Guzzi wisdom. I hope this finds you comfortable.

Rob

[RickTReloaded]

Not good news Rick.

I have no experience of cancer (yet) but I did go go through a medical event that was life threatening and involved open heart surgery a couple of years ago.

I want to say things here about attitude. I just hope it's appropriate and helpful.

You know, when we are born to this world we all come with a death sentence. It's pre-agreed that this is a temporary adventure, but many seem to go through life ignoring this.

You have a "body failure" and will need to fix it. That's not going to be the best time of your life, but from what has been posted previous it seems that there is no reason to suppose that it won't be successful.

So enough of this 'being tough' for your family. You don't have to do that. Your family (which you are lucky to have) will support you in this time.

However there is little point in worry either, though it is hard not to.

In my case I knew going in that the operation I was going to have has a 6% mortality rate. That doesn't sound to bad, but consider, if a lottery gave you a 6% chance of winning you would surely buy a ticket.

During the op I had one of those Out Of Body experiences you hear about. I think it occurred when my heart was stopped. ( they cool it until it stops beating) In that state I had a close look at what the surgeon was doing to my leg (extracting arteries for the bypasses that were part of the deal) then decided that the surgeons would do what they would do and I would survive or I would not, so I might as well buzz off and do some other stuff. There the memory of the experience leaves me.  

A couple of things about that were noticeable.

First off the actual experience of the OOB state was proof positive to me of our continued existence without a body. (It's only proof to me of course. A personal experience like that does not hold up under the scientific method, it remains anecdotal) I found this very reassuring.

I was struck by the "whatever happens, happens" attitude that I had in that state. I wasn't worried at all.  

In all it gave a sense of proportion to the whole deal.

I'm not sure that I'm finding the right words to express what I'm trying to say here.

It amounts I suppose to what others have been saying all along. Be Positive. Attack the problem with all that you can bring to it, but learn to relax and dispense with fear.

Richard Bach summed it up nicely;

"Here is a test to see
   if your mission on earth
      is finished.
If you are alive,
   It's not."

You are alive Rick, so there are still things for you to do and experience.  Take hope from that, and keep that hope safe and well fed.

My best to you Rick in this trial. I'm going to assume a positive outcome and that you will regret giving those bikes away.

Amazing words, John.

Rick - I just saw this post. I pray for a positive outcome to all of this. God bless you and your family.

[father guzzi obrian]

Rick,
Go for a bike ride, take the backroads, enjoy the smells, and know that you will be healed. Pray for this and God will listen, we pray for you every day, and atheists can bitch all they want, our Lord is a merciful, healing lord, and he is using this to bring you closer to him. Cling to the Lord, and when you are past this, serve him, you will be joyous all the days of your life.
Best wishes,
Jon

[Tom Mangini]

Hey Rick I just ran across this thread. (I hardly get on the computer anymore) So sorry to hear about your cancer. I know you enough to see that your attitude has always been great, and to me that is one of the most important things you can have. Last July I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Chemo sucks but it does seem to work. There are so many cancer research opportunities on line, a lot of trials going on for specific types of cancer.   Have you looked into any of those? We're currently waiting for a package from the "Pancan" network that will show us all the trials going on within a 100 mile radius from here. They tell you there's no guarantee, but I don't think I'm getting any better with the chemo and it's knocking the shit out of me. I'm reaching the point where we start looking at other things. Keep your attitude the way I remember it and hopefully we'll talk soon. Be well Rick.
Tom in tucson     

[56Pan]

Hey Rick I just ran across this thread. (I hardly get on the computer anymore) So sorry to hear about your cancer. I know you enough to see that your attitude has always been great, and to me that is one of the most important things you can have. Last July I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Chemo sucks but it does seem to work. There are so many cancer research opportunities on line, a lot of trials going on for specific types of cancer.   Have you looked into any of those? We're currently waiting for a package from the "Pancan" network that will show us all the trials going on within a 100 mile radius from here. They tell you there's no guarantee, but I don't think I'm getting any better with the chemo and it's knocking the shit out of me. I'm reaching the point where we start looking at other things. Keep your attitude the way I remember it and hopefully we'll talk soon. Be well Rick.
Tom in tucson   

Tom good luck and God's healing to you.  My older brother had pancreatic cancer about 9 yrs. ago and came through it. 

[oldmxdog61u]

Good health, happy rides.

[Bobbilljim]

Hey Rick!
I hope you are doing ok. We are still thinking about you in up here in Phoenix!

[HardAspie]

I can't imagine. I cannot imagine your having to handle this; not your family. It is so easy to say keep positive, and important to be reminded. Still reality is largely out of your hands. I'll hope that you recover. I'll hope that you deal with this terror well. I'll hope that your family deals with it well. And I can pray. I will do that too.

[Calijackalbob]

Keep the faith Rick. There is always hope.
My sister had leukemia. Wasn't expected to survive. Got real sick. Out of 9 immediate family members, I turned out to be the only match for a bone marrow transplant. It's now about 10 years since then and she is cancer free, though still suffering from side effects of chemotherapy. It freaks me out that I was able to help save her life with a transplant. I wish I could do it for someone else, but Sadly, I can't since I am over 50 and ate potentially "mad cow diseased" hamburgers when living in the UK in the 80's, so medical authorities won't accept my blood. I urge everyone to sign up as a blood, bone marrow or organ donor. It's such a small gift, but could save someones life.
Good luck Rick.

[johnr]

We're still thinking about you Rick.

We are. And maybe it's time for another update?

[breva750]

I have been a hospice nurse for the past 10 years... this is one of the most challenging scenarios I have ever had the privilege and honor of experiencing... I am deeply moved and I wish you peace, love and understanding...

[canuguzzi]

You have more friends than you know but we all know you. Have peace and improving health. If you manage a ride, know that the light at the end of the tunnel is exactly what it seems, light at the end of just another tunnel.

[lucydad]

Rick,

The poodles and I are still praying for you and wagging tails...

[bigbikerrick]

Hi Folks, first , I would like to apologize for not updating this thread in a more timely manner. I will try to summarize what has transpired, without being too long winded. I approximately at the end of June, I completed 35 radiation treatments, and three rounds of chemo, each one 3 weeks in itself. I am now a bit over 1 month after all that, and slowly recuperating  from all that. I did it without the insertion of a feeding(PEG) tube, or a porta cath inserted for IV access. Swallowing has been a real challenge due to the soreness in my throat, but its getting better. I was unable to swallow anything but small amounts of liquid for about 2 months, and would have to go in for daily IV hydration, to take in enough water to keep my kidneys working. They started a fresh IV every day I went in, but the sticks were not too bad.....the oncology RNs, are incredibly skilled, and compassionate. Yesterday I saw my Doctors, and received the results of my first PET scan about 1 1/2 months after the treatments The Docs. were pleased with the results , saying the tumor had shrunk to the point where it could not be identified as a tumor at all, they said the cancer cells were killed off and replaced by good healthy cells, and some scar tissue. The scan showed no metastasis had taken place, since the first scan, which is excellent news. During a PET scan, they inject a sugar solution into my veins that has been tagged with a radioactive component, and it shows up red in the scan, as my body uses the sugar, and since a tumor uses alot of "fuel" you see those areas if any lit up in red. The only thing that gave a bit of concern to the doc. is that my pituitary gland in my brain soaked up some of the dye, showing some "activity". They are not sure if its a small tumor, there, or not, but they want to do a brain MRI on me next week, to check that out. The pituitary in known as the "master gland" since it controls the function of other glands in the body, including the thyroid, adrenal glands, testosterone , etc. a review of my first scan showed "something " in the pituitary, but at that point, with the huge throat tumor needing immediate attention, the pituitary thing was not a priority, is the way the oncologist described it. A repeat pet scan in 3 months time will be much more definitive of my prognosis, but the Docs. told me if the MRI shows anything "sinister" they will refer me to a neurosurgeon if needed.
I am keeping my fingers crossed, that its not a big deal, and working hard every day to try and swallow as much protein rich foods as I can, as Ive lost alot of weight, going from a high of 365 lbs to my current weight of 178 lbs. My jeans have gone from 44 x 30 to 32 x 30 size, and T shirt size from 3XL to large, and sometimes, even medium!
Thank you guys, for all the kind words, encouragement, and support. It is truly appreciated !
Rick.

[Zoom Zoom]

I'm glad to hear things are moving in a positive direction. Keep getting better.

John Henry

[Bill Hagan]

Kathi asked me about you the other day, and then, typically, I forgot even to check. Doh.

So, I can now act as if I looked  ... and, far greater, have your good news to pass along.

Grand stuff.

Thanks for the update.

Bill

[Graham UK]

Hi Rick.  Thanks for such a full and helpful update; the effort that took is much appreciated.  May you be enabled to enjoy the good days, and sustained when the journey is tough.  You're making remarkable progress.  Graham 

[56Pan]

Rick, thanks for taking the time and effort for the update.  Wishing you well and sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

[Joe A.]

Good to hear from you BBR! WE think of you often and glad to hear of your good response to date. Continued thoughts, prayers and positive vibes from Livonia NY!

[Lannis]

Great news and thanks for the update.

You've got one job to do now for sure - you have to change your screen name ..... You're half the man you used to be .... !!   

Lannis

[Rough Edge racing]

 Rick, that's a guaranteed weight lost diet... Atkins diet would have been easier... Seriously, sounds like you are recovering ,good luck!