Safety warning , do what now ?

[oldbike54]

 My very first thought when waking up this morn was ; "Remove all fruit from tree before eating" 

 Dusty

 

[fotoguzzi]

[oldbike54]

 Kinda curious , has anyone ever heard this before , should I sell it to that T shirt company ? Do some bumper stickers ? Looked on the net , nothing .

 Dusty

[Orange Guzzi]

There is a sticker on my riding mower.  It is a stick figure driving over a baby and blood splatter.  No words, no circle with a line thru it.   I haven't tried it yet, but looks messy.

[Kent in Upstate NY]

I bought a bag of wheat bran for the horses. It has a big warning on it saying, "Contains Wheat" right under the label that says "Wheat Bran".

[Guzzistajohn]

I always wondered why the baby diaper changing tables in public bathrooms had Braille lettering?

[Rick in WNY]

I always wondered why the baby diaper changing tables in public bathrooms had Braille lettering?

I always wondered why drive-up ATMs had braille lettering....

[Sasquatch Jim]

 If you take the fruit off the tree before eating it, it won't taste as good.

[RinkRat II]

If you take the fruit off the tree before eating it, it won't taste as good.

   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
   
   Ask any browsing animal!

       Paul B

[webmost]

Bought a hammer once, sticker on it said "Do Not Strike Hard Objects".
Is my thumb soft enough?

[JJ]

This is the best "No Fun sign" ever...seen a few years ago at the entrance to "The Temple of Heaven" outside Beijing!! 

[oldbike54]

If you take the fruit off the tree before eating it, it won't taste as good.

 That was the question , are we eating the tree or the fruit ?

 "Remove all fruit from tree before eating" or "Remove all fruit from tree , before eating" 

 Why does my brain do this shyte to me ? 

 Dusty

[RinkRat II]

  Punctuation should be taken, seriously!

        Paul B

[oldbike54]

  Punctuation should be taken, seriously!

        Paul B

 Let's eat mom .

 Let's eat , mom .

 Dusty

[Kiwi_Roy]

I think Dusty has lost the plot

[Chuck in Indiana]

Uhhh, Dusty lost the plot a long time ago..
<running and ducking>

[Guzzi Gal]

I always wondered why drive-up ATMs had braille lettering...

Same.

Let's eat mom .

 Let's eat, mom .

 Dusty

Oxford comma girl who's been accused of overuse. 

[JJ]

Uhhh, Dusty lost the plot a long time ago..
<running and ducking>

C'mon now Chuckster...Dusty IS the plot!!! 

[oldbike54]

 I don't even have a plot 

 Dusty

[JJ]

I don't even have a plot 

 Dusty

[cookiemech]

Removed warning stickers from my two new Harleys last year. They indicated that motorcycles (surprisingly) handle differently from passenger cars.

Good to know that.

[Chuck in Indiana]

Removed warning stickers from my two new Harleys last year. They indicated that motorcycles (surprisingly) handle differently from passenger cars.

Good to know that.

Well, they are kind of like an old Buick.. <rimshot>  Sorry, that was low hanging fruit, which gets us back to the original question..

[JJ]

Removed warning stickers from my two new Harleys last year. They indicated that motorcycles (surprisingly) handle differently from passenger cars.

Good to know that.

"NO!!! You can't have a BB gun...You'll shoot your eye out!!" 

[Two Checks]

Label on firecrackers:


Lie down, light fuse, get away.


Could I get away faster if I didnt lie down?

[rodekyll]

My mom was blind.  When the ADA happened she was pressed into service as an expert in handicapped matters.  One of the things they were "consulting" her about were those braille signs on doors and walls and such.  I went with her when they demonstrated the wall signs for her approval.  It went something like this:

[them]  "Ok, so we've labeled the womens' room door with a braille sign so you can tell them apart."
     [mom] (and I'm paraphrasing the conversation) "Cool.  Where is the sign?"
"on the door".
     "and the door is . . . .?"
"To your left"  (mom turns to the left and walks into the wall.  her dog is aghast.  She starts moving her hands around on the wall, looking for the door.  Dirt and bugs coat her hands and the sleeves of her coat.)
     "More right"
"Here?"
     "No, that's the janitor's closet."
"How do I know that?  It's not labeled."
     "You don't need to know what it is.  If it's not labeled, it's not the womens' room."  (mom moves right, finds the door.)
"Here?"
    "Yes."  (mom looks for the sign.  Finds it.  Starts to read it.  Door opens quickly, knocking her down.)
"So I'm supposed to hug the wall and sweep every door looking for a business card-sized sign that most likely isn't going to be there while getting knocked down by doors?  I think I'm done here."

The other big consultation was for those chirpy crosswalk markers.  When the light is right they sound like robins going one way and doves going crossways.  When the light is red they have a robot voice chanting "wait . . .wait . . .wait" .   Her first objection was that with the general noise of the street it was impossible to tell which signal was chirping and which was chanting.  "The coos are north and south, the chirps are east and west." 
The second was the sign thing.  They put braille on the big palm buttons for activating the crossing lights.  She complained they were hard to find, so the city painted them red and made the dots bigger. 
Her third objection was that the curbs were abrupt at the intersections, which was a hazard for both her and bikes, strollers, etc.  The city listened.  They changed the curbs, scooping them and putting in rubber mats with big knobs on them so mom would know she was on the little ramp.  To complete the upgrade, they installed bar grilles over the storm drains at the intersections.  The bars only went one way, and quickly bagged anyone on a thin wheeled bike or had narrow feet.  Mom's dog hated them and wouldn't allow mom to cross them.

Then the unexpected happened.  Birds collect on the utility wires and poles all over town.  That's expected.  But one town over, in Juneau, the roosting ravens mistook the chirping and cooing of the crossing signs for a Rosetta Stone tape being played over a loudspeaker.  They listened and learned.  Now in Juneau there is a murder of the things running around town cooing and chirping back at the crosswalk voices from all up and down the block.  It's not a lot -- a few dozen, maybe.  But they've made the crosswalks useless.

[lucian]

At a nearby public dock.

             No Swimming
       Check depth when diving.

[rodekyll]

At the other extreme, I was chatting with a woman from NYC about coming to visit me in Alaska.  She was horrified to hear of the dangers from things like wild animals, weather, and the tides.  She asked about the warning signs up my way.  I said we really didn't have many.  Some popular beaches will have tide warnings, some roads will warn that if you proceed, it's on you, or that you should have gear and provisions enough to survive a few days until someone comes along to help; and there are advisories of active bears and other predators in public areas.  She thought the State had a responsibility to eradicate all dangerous things that they possibly could, and label the rest (they tag bears, you know).  I said it was a matter of situational awareness -- as long as you understand that everything you see and everything you can't see wants to kill you, you'll be fine.  In the end we mutually agreed that the Alaska bush was not the place for her.

[twowings]

She's more likely to die from the libations in Hyder or the cold...

[Phang]

this is a rare one here

[Huzo]

Same.

Oxford comma girl who's been accused of overuse. 

What's this thing called love?
            What's this thing called, love?

             What's that up on the road ahead ?
             What's that up on the road, a head ?

            Never take seriously, something that's poked at you in fun...