The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles

[Vasco DG]

Today, a Monday, I went in Quest!

I went in quest of those shitty little rubber boots that go over the throttle cable adjusters on modern Guzzis. A bloke on the Ghetto was bemoaning that his had disintegrated and they are not sold as a separate piece. I stopped snoring for a minute and grunted into action and started looking about for an alternative source now I knew I had back-up and wasn't a lone, anally retentive nutter!

The problem has since been solved by another Ghetto-ite but I went in to visit the mainstream bike shops in Canberra this morning on the Griso. Parked up at the Honda, Ducati. KTM, (Maybe a couple of other brands , dunno, don't visit often.) and had a chat about the poxy boots. Unfortunately no joy so I headed out to get back on the Griso.

It was being *Admired* by an idiot about the same age as me, maybe a couple of years older, but he had all the 'Gear' on, brand new body armour, squeaky leathers etc. I smiled and said hello and he shook his head and said "How can you let your 'Ride' get so scruffy? Its a disgrace! And that's a really bad colour combination. Even for a Guzzi."

My reply is unsuitable for this board but the 'C' bomb was dropped at least once. I'm glad to say he did change colour and it wasn't good........

Pete

[Lannis]

I smiled and said hello and he shook his head and said "How can you let your 'Ride' get so scruffy? Its a disgrace! And that's a really bad colour combination. Even for a Guzzi."

Pete

I just can't conceive of anyone I didn't know personally saying that to me, just out on the street.   I'd probably be like you - I'd hurt his feelings so bad that he'd hesitate before doing it to someone else.

Now my actual riding friends, THEY'LL say stuff like that, with a knowing smile on their face, and they'd probably be right.   Problem is, their bikes are just as dirty as mine.   Possibly because we actually RIDE them!

Lannis

[Guzzistajohn]

A repeat , but worth telling . Worked a few hours today  and the homeowner sold a DR 400 to a beginning rider while I was there . The buyer was accompanied by an older friend riding a wing  The GW rider was holding forth ,freely sharing his knowledge of  MCling , most of it laughable . The bit of advice that I finally had to contradict was the old nugget , "Well , never ever use the front brake , I'll explain why later"  ::) Not seeking confrontation , I told the wife in private that that was really bad advice , and to please have her husband find an MSF beginning  riders class , or at least someone more knowledgeable about riding MCs to learn from .
  I pointed out that the GW had linked brakes , and whether the guy knew it or not , he was probably using his front brake , which just drew a blank stare . The GW did have a loud stereo  ;D

  Dusty

good on you for not shooting your mouth off and showing concern for a fellow rider and looking out for his best interest. Some people would use an opperrtunity like that to show what a Richard cranium they could be ;D

[oldbike54]

good on you for not shooting your mouth off and showing concern for a fellow rider and looking out for his best interest. Some people would use an opperrtunity like that to show what a Richard cranium they could be ;D

That might be confusing to anyone who did not know the whole story  ;D At least it was done in private .

  Dusty

[Triple Jim]

A little over a year since I got the Mille, I finally got one.  Not too bad, but at least I'm in the club now.  Yesterday I was getting back on the bike to leave the Post Office parking lot, and a late middle aged woman looked at the gas tank emblem and carefully pronounced "Mah-toe Guh-zee".  Then she asked who made it.  I told her that some nice men in Italy did.  She then said "I thought it sounded Italian".  We wished each other a nice day.

[johnr]

 Astute comes from a French word which they got  from the Latin word for 'craft'. (hence 'crafty' I s'pose.)
I got interested and looked it up  :D

[Vasco DG]

I just can't conceive of anyone I didn't know personally saying that to me, just out on the street.   I'd probably be like you - I'd hurt his feelings so bad that he'd hesitate before doing it to someone else.

Now my actual riding friends, THEY'LL say stuff like that, with a knowing smile on their face, and they'd probably be right.   Problem is, their bikes are just as dirty as mine.   Possibly because we actually RIDE them!

Lannis

Lannis, in Oz it is obligatory to take the piss out of your mates. To not do so is an affront! Being openly critical on some stuff is also happily accepted from strangers but you don't use those sort of terms as an opening gambit. Well you can, just don't be surprised if you get a mouthfull in return. If I'd ever spoken to the bloke before it would of been fine, it was his obvious noviciate nature and air of superiority that caused my, probably unwarranted, response.

I may not be good at a lot of things but being a grumpy old man is something I can excel at!  ;D

Pete

[tris]

Astute comes from a French word which they got  from the Latin word for 'craft'. (hence 'crafty' I s'pose.)
I got interested and looked it up  :D

We have a submarine named HMS Astute which judging from this report the definition above would appear to be limited to her name and not to those driving  ;-T

https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/27118/astute_grounding_si_report.pdf

[johnr]

We have a submarine named HMS Astute which judging from this report the definition above would appear to be limited to her name and not to those driving  ;-T

https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/27118/astute_grounding_si_report.pdf

Jeepers! What a cluster f**k! A few necks need to grasped firmly and shaken with moderate vigour. (and no doubt will be)
I'm surprised that they didn't recommend promotion for that leading seaman below. Seems he was the only one that knew what he was doing.

[Waterbottle]

I'd never heard this one before, filling up on my last trip a guy walks past admiring the Griso and says
"Geez that must be a small Chain inside that swing arm ? "
I said "No , it's actually a shaft drive"
"Geez how long have they been doing that "
Oh about 50 or 60 years
I got the look, you know the one that says - Smart arse

[tris]

Jeepers! What a cluster f**k! A few necks need to grasped firmly and shaken with moderate vigour. (and no doubt will be)
I'm surprised that they didn't recommend promotion for that leading seaman below. Seems he was the only one that knew what he was doing.

She was not a "lucky" boat for a while

http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2013/jan/14/submarine-shooting-inquest-breath-testing

Though, (with extreme bias), I can say she has the best Sonar team in the RN on her now as my wife's friends son (keep up) is part of the team  ;-T

[Vasco DG]

I'd never heard this one before, filling up on my last trip a guy walks past admiring the Griso and says
"Geez that must be a small Chain inside that swing arm ? "
I said "No , it's actually a shaft drive"
"Geez how long have they been doing that "
Oh about 50 or 60 years
I got the look, you know the one that says - Smart arse

I think we can say a lot longer than that :D.

Pete

[Chuck in Indiana]

"What are you doing on that crotch rocket? That's a young man's bike.."  ;D

[v7john]

Heard several times in the last 6 weeks following my crash and broken arm,

"No more motorbikes for you eh?",
"Said for ages you should have given up bikes by now",
"Janice (my wife) won't let you ride again", etc,etc.

My response,

"I'm buying (have bought) another bike already. Just got to get my wrist working again."

[nikwax]

"What are you doing on that crotch rocket? That's a young man's bike.."  ;D

hah! that reminds me, years ago I witnessed a low speed crash between two cars. I stopped and offered my business card as a witness to the woman whose car had been done by a scruffy looking bastard. I was riding my GS and didn't take my helmet off while talking to them.

A few days later I get a call from both party's insurance adjusters (same insurance company), and scruffy bastard had advised his adjuster "don't listen to the kid on the crotch rocket!" Told the adjuster I was flattered, being in my mid-50's at the time, and that maybe SB's powers of observation were a bit challenged as a BMW 1150 GS is hardly a crotch rocket. 

[Loftness]

Most recently:

-"How fast this go?" regarding any bike they're standing next to

-"You think my friends would make fun of me if I bought this?"  referring to a Griso

[rodekyll]

Most recently:

-"How fast this go?" regarding any bike they're standing next to

-"You think my friends would make fun of me if I bought this?"  referring to a Griso

 . . ."if you like.  I'll go first . . . "     ;D

[rodekyll]

Not the stupidest thing I've heard, but funny nonetheless:

Went into NAPA today to get some stuff for the jimmy van.  Much to my surprise they had them in stock.  I wasn't prepared for that -- expected a special order -- and said so.  The reply was "Well, we try to keep up with what's in town -- it's not like you have a Moto Guzzi or something."  I replied that it was flattering that he remembered my bike.  He looked at me blankly for a moment and said "No, I didn't know that -- Moto Guzzi was just the most obscure thing I could think of off the top of my head."

[oldbike54]

Bump . Cold and icy here , entertain us .

  Dusty

[Lannis]

Bump . Cold and icy here , entertain us .

  Dusty

We've got about 450 "Stupid Things" so far, maybe that's all there is.    I feel bad about posting "stupid things" that people said if they didn't KNOW they were stupid things and were maybe just trying to be friendly?

Lannis

[redrider]

"Yeah, that ole panhead ran out of 1st gear around 80 then Jimmy shifted to second. That took us to 120 then he went for third. I closed my eyes at 135." As told by a cousin's grandfather's brother(notorious fibber) to us boys in 1972.

[hooter]

You have smile at the guy standing there with a cigarette telling you that motorcycling is dangerous.

[Lannis]

You have smile at the guy standing there with a cigarette telling you that motorcycling is dangerous.

Yep, the guy would have to know THAT was stupid in this day and age .....

Lannis

[biking sailor]

Just today one of the old machinst guys at our plant wore a knit cap with the Harley Davidson logo on it.  This is a guy that regularly proclaims how anyone who rides a dangerous motorcycle is crazy. 

Ya gotta take your hat off to the HD marketing folks.

[drlapo]

BSA? when did the boy scouts make a motorcycle?

[Bill N]

Screwy Guzzi 98EV owner tells me, "Guzzi's are cool, even the Harley riders will let you ride with them." I almost died from laughter.
Bill

[father guzzi obrian]

I'm going to put a drone engine in my Lario ~;

[rodekyll]

I'm going to put a drone engine in my Lario ~;

The FAA says you can do that, but can only ride in daylight hours at less than 100 miles an hour and at altitudes under 500 feet AGL.  You may not leave your own line of sight, and the GVW may not exceed 55#.

Good luck!   ;D   :BEER:

[johnr]

You have smile at the guy standing there with a cigarette telling you that motorcycling is dangerous.

Or even worse (gasp) a drink!

[oldbike54]

Or even worse (gasp) a drink!

 Now I want a beer and a cigar  ;D

  Dusty