The stupidest thing anyone ever said to you regarding motorcycles

[Triple Jim]

I was in a bar in Pennsylvania with 6 of my buddies.  I am a non drinker so I ordered a coke.  It was clear that we were all on bikes.  She said to me "You can have your cokes for free if you are the designated driver."

I hope you calmly said that you were.   

This is not a Harley put down, but more of a new to biking issue...  ...they are all complaining about the Triumph because it is too small to keep up on the highway!!

That's not a new to biking issue, it's a self esteem issue.   

[rocker59]

This is not a Harley put down, but more of a new to biking issue.   A friend of mine who is new to biking bought a big Harley to ride with a few of his other friends who also bought big Harleys.  They are all in their 60s so they have lots of money to spare.  One of them, however, bought one of the new Triumph Bonnevilles.  So they all go out for a ride on the highway and they are all complaining about the Triumph because it is too small to keep up on the highway!!

The only thing I can assume from this paragraph is that they're long-distance riders and they're complaining about the Triumph Bonneville's range, as compared to the HDs with 6-gallon tanks.

If not, they're idiots.  (or the Triumph rider is just a slow rider).

[rocker59]

I saw this on one of the Indian forums the other day:


Poster:  "I have a 2016 Scout and would like a trailer hitch.  Does anyone know where I can source a trailer hitch for the new Scouts?"

Responder (who rides a Chief variant):  "ain't no hitches for them Scouts, cause they ain't got enough tork to pull no trailer".


Yep.  The moto world is full of idiots...

[Lannis]

So they all go out for a ride on the highway and they are all complaining about the Triumph because it is too small to keep up on the highway!!

Could be a self-esteem thing, or could be a new rider thing.   Some new riders, even in groups, don't know that there is any motorcycle than a Harley, or any engine displacement below 1300cc.   Seems strange to us, but they can be very ignorant.

When I was riding my Centauro to work, a guy who wanted a bike to ride, who had never ridden before, showed up on an 1100cc HD-clone Vtwin of some kind.   He asked me about my Centauro.   "How big is it?" inquires he.   "990cc" sez I.

"Is that really big enough to ride on the highway?   The guys I ride with are telling me that mine needs to be bigger so I can keep up on the rides they're planning."   Of course, in order to make a point, I told him that I would give him any sort of start he wanted, and then blow the wheels off his plodding cruiser so hard he wouldn't even see me go by, or some man-response of that sort.

He didn't get it, I guess, or ignored it, which is more likely, because after about 300 miles in the first month on his 1100cc tiddler, he showed up on an 1800cc cruiser of some other kind and rode happily all summer, after which he sold it and never went back to riding.   

If I met one at work, I'm sure there are thousands, nay, hundreds of thousands like him on there on the road.

Lannis

[Sasquatch Jim]

  Doesn't that just tork you off?

[Sheepdog]

I once asked a fellow with an '81 Suzuki GS1100E why a large bit of paint was missing from his front fender. He replied, "The paint started to peel when I hit 180mph..."

[Lannis]

  Doesn't that just tork you off?

Well, a little bit.   But I can tell myself "He and I really aren't doing the same thing, despite appearances" and just sort of stay away ......

Once I convince myself of that, THEN someone comes along and says "All motorcyclists are really brothers, we're all doing the same thing, we should accept the wide and beautiful diversity of the brotherhood of the wheel ..."

Now THAT torks me off ... !   

Lannis

[webmost]

"I would love to have a bike but the wife won't let me."

[webmost]

Could be a self-esteem thing, or could be a new rider thing.   Some new riders, even in groups, don't know that there is any motorcycle than a Harley, or any engine displacement below 1300cc.   Seems strange to us, but they can be very ignorant.

When I was riding my Centauro to work, a guy who wanted a bike to ride, who had never ridden before, showed up on an 1100cc HD-clone Vtwin of some kind.   He asked me about my Centauro.   "How big is it?" inquires he.   "990cc" sez I.

"Is that really big enough to ride on the highway?   The guys I ride with are telling me that mine needs to be bigger so I can keep up on the rides they're planning."   Of course, in order to make a point, I told him that I would give him any sort of start he wanted, and then blow the wheels off his plodding cruiser so hard he wouldn't even see me go by, or some man-response of that sort.

He didn't get it, I guess, or ignored it, which is more likely, because after about 300 miles in the first month on his 1100cc tiddler, he showed up on an 1800cc cruiser of some other kind and rode happily all summer, after which he sold it and never went back to riding.   

If I met one at work, I'm sure there are thousands, nay, hundreds of thousands like him on there on the road.

Lannis

Displacement is only half a measure. The other half is RPM. Without knowing how quickly you are pushing a liter through the jugs you have no inkling how much power you are harnessing.

Displacement is a flawed measure. Ought to give up using it.

[Lannis]

Displacement is only half a measure. The other half is RPM. Without knowing how quickly you are pushing a liter through the jugs you have no inkling how much power you are harnessing.

Displacement is a flawed measure. Ought to give up using it.

Yep.

And the length of the human male reproductive organ is a flawed measure too.    But people will give up talking about and admiring THAT, and talking about and admiring motorcycle engine displacement, at exactly the same time .... because it's the same thing ....

Lannis

[LowRyter]

I wonder what one of those Harley guys would say when "one of them 600 Ninjas" just blow them into the weeds?

[Lannis]

I wonder what one of those Harley guys would say when "one of them 600 Ninjas" just blow them into the weeds?

They'll tell you the story from an old EasyRiders magazine of "Nitrous Jack" who had a nitrous bottle on his righteous Panhead chop and whenever a Z-1 Kaw blew by their Harleys, he'd crack the valve and take off after them and go by them before rejoining the group in triumph ....

Lannis

[Triple Jim]

I do get a kick out of Hildo's video, in which he drag races a CBR1000RR with his chopper (which I'm sure most have already seen).  The kid on the Honda should have been more wary of a very short drag race.  :)     (first race is about 1/2 way through)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdKqe0LdWwc

[Lannis]

I do get a kick out of Hildo's video, in which he drag races a CBR1000RR with his chopper (which I'm sure most have already seen).  The kid on the Honda should have been more wary of a very short drag race.  :)     (first race is about 1/2 way through)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdKqe0LdWwc

Hadn't watched it in a year or two, but (even though it's not to be taken too seriously), Hildo is a funny old guy.   

Strange, you don't think of Dutch guys being funny old guys.   The beauty of videos ....

Lannis

[Triple Jim]

Strange, you don't think of Dutch guys being funny old guys.   The beauty of videos ....

I figure each country has its share of funny old guys.  I bet if you were walking down the street and saw Hildo, you might guess he's a funny old guy from his non-conformist appearance.   :)

[Lannis]

I figure each country has its share of funny old guys. 

North Korea?   Against the law there, I expect.
Somalia?   All the funny stuff there got eaten.

Hmm, something to think about ...

[LowRyter]

They'll tell you the story from an old EasyRiders magazine of "Nitrous Jack" who had a nitrous bottle on his righteous Panhead chop and whenever a Z-1 Kaw blew by their Harleys, he'd crack the valve and take off after them and go by them before rejoining the group in triumph ....

Lannis

until his groin was blown to smithereens by the top end of the motor.  Then ol Jack was known as Jackie.

 

[Sasquatch Jim]

 I guess you mean old nitrous nuts.

[johnpaulcim]

When I was younger and much more a glutton for punishment than I am today, I owned an old 73 Ironhead Sportster. I was sitting at a stop light one day when a kid rolled up next to me with the window to his car rolled down and leaned out the window to look the bike up and down, then nodded and said: "Nice bike. What is that a V-Twin...."

[TodkaVonic]

I had a brief conversation with some bagger dudes at the start of a local rally. The entire route, round trip, was about 250 miles. After looking at my Ducati, bagger guy says to me, great looking Duck there, bet it's fast but you can't go very far without stopping for a break? I says, yeah, it's not the most forgiving and comfortable ride, I can usually manage about an hour and a half before needing a stretch. He laughs and laughs. I really should look at something more comfortable, you know, if I want to roll with this crowd. We chat a little more and decide that we'll all ride together. The ride gets under way and we're cruising along, and, about 20 miles in we're stopping for a drink. Ok. That's odd. Then 20 miles later we're at another bar. Hmmmm. It's, what, 10:30 am? Maybe someone had to hit the head? Alrighty. Another 30 miles amd we're stopping again. I'm drinking club soda and watching this group get slowly inebriated. But that's not the point. The issue I'm having is that these guys were razing me about not being able to tour and every half hour we're stopping for a wiz and another 7 and 7! So I broke away and didn't see any of them again. I'm sure they thought I went home after such vigorous and unrelenting "touring."

[Northern Bill]

My friend and I were gassing up in Pennsylvania beside a guy on a Harley with straight through pipes.  We were a little lost and it was dark so we asked him if he knew where Coudersport was.  He was a very pleasant fellow and said it wasn't that far so he said we could follow him until we were on highway 6.  Before going he said "I hope you guys don't mind loud pipes." My friend looked at me and we just smiled because my friend was riding a Jota with a full racing exhaust.

[Shorty]

So, in the '70s, I'm riding home drunk (from work!) at night in Pennsylvania, formerly a very strict , anti motorcycling state, with straight pipes, ape hangars, no helmet, expired tags, no inspection sticker, and a lighting system that requires the bike to be revved up to work at all.

Cop pulls me over , "You know why I pulled you over?" I just snorted. "Nope" 

[kirby1923]

So, in the '70s, I'm riding home drunk (from work!) at night in Pennsylvania, formerly a very strict , anti motorcycling state, with straight pipes, ape hangars, no helmet, expired tags, no inspection sticker, and a lighting system that requires the bike to be revved up to work at all.

Cop pulls me over , "You know why I pulled you over?" I just snorted. "Nope" 

!! Send more Shorty!!

:-)

[tris]

I had a brief conversation with some bagger dudes at the start of a local rally. The entire route, round trip, was about 250 miles. After looking at my Ducati, bagger guy says to me, great looking Duck there, bet it's fast but you can't go very far without stopping for a break? I says, yeah, it's not the most forgiving and comfortable ride, I can usually manage about an hour and a half before needing a stretch. He laughs and laughs. I really should look at something more comfortable, you know, if I want to roll with this crowd. We chat a little more and decide that we'll all ride together. The ride gets under way and we're cruising along, and, about 20 miles in we're stopping for a drink. Ok. That's odd. Then 20 miles later we're at another bar. Hmmmm. It's, what, 10:30 am? Maybe someone had to hit the head? Alrighty. Another 30 miles amd we're stopping again. I'm drinking club soda and watching this group get slowly inebriated. But that's not the point. The issue I'm having is that these guys were razing me about not being able to tour and every half hour we're stopping for a wiz and another 7 and 7! So I broke away and didn't see any of them again. I'm sure they thought I went home after such vigorous and unrelenting "touring."

My best mate rides like that except insert coffee/ice cream/cake/wiz/"look at the view" at all the stops. I prefer the "act" of riding and big miles .... so far as that is possible in the UK 

We have to both compromise when we go for a ride together

[drlapo]

BSA?  When did the boy scouts make motorcycle s?

[sib]

Brief conversation yesterday afternoon with two Harley riders who pulled into a parking lot as I was about to leave on my '16 Stone:

Rider 1:  "What's that?"
Me:  "It's a Moto Guzzi"
Rider 1:  "Who makes it?"
Me:  "It's made by Moto Guzzi, an Italian company that's been making motorcycles for almost 100 years."
Rider 1:  "Oh, it's Italian.  I've never seen cylinder heads coming out sideways like that before.  How many cylinders?"
Rider 2:  "I think there are 3."
Me:  No, only 2 cylinders."
Rider 2:  "How old is it?"
Me:  "It's nearly new, I bought it 2 years ago."
Rider 2:  "Triumph makes retro-looking bikes, too."
Me:  "Yes, they do."
Riders 1 and 2:  (staring in wonderment as I motored away)

[severely]

Had one clown state that in case of a "tank slapper" you should let go of the handlebars. My wife RAN in the other direction, when asked about her reaction she said I wanted to slap the stupid out of him but figured it was an all day job and I had other things to do today. LMAO. BTW, this clown also states he has over a million miles ridden, no doubt all on straight roads on a cruiser. 

[nc43bsa]

Had one clown state that in case of a "tank slapper" you should let go of the handlebars. My wife RAN in the other direction, when asked about her reaction she said I wanted to slap the stupid out of him but figured it was an all day job and I had other things to do today. LMAO. BTW, this clown also states he has over a million miles ridden, no doubt all on straight roads on a cruiser. 

You should have told him "In case of a tank slapper, immediately jump off the motorcycle."   

[Rick in WNY]

Well, on my way home from picking up my Califonia I stopped at a gas station to refill my truck and I got asked what kind of Harley was that?

Guzzi owner for just a couple hours and I was already getting asked stupid questions...

[Murray]

Had one clown state that in case of a "tank slapper" you should let go of the handlebars. My wife RAN in the other direction, when asked about her reaction she said I wanted to slap the stupid out of him but figured it was an all day job and I had other things to do today. LMAO. BTW, this clown also states he has over a million miles ridden, no doubt all on straight roads on a cruiser. 

Possibly not the worst advice ever, a tank slapper assuming no underlying mechanical failure is the bikes geometry trying to recover the alignment of the front and rear wheel. Depending on the bike its likely to recover itself quickly if the bozo riding it doesn't mess with it too much. The merits of letting go the throttle in a tank slapper and the resultant weight distribution/geometry change is unlikely to be helpful.

What we advise to new riders on their first group ride if you think you have over cooked a corner lean further over and keep going. The bike is most likely within its limits even if you aren't within yours, you'll probably get away with it, remember it and don't do it again.