Wildgoose made me a loser.

[Texas Turnip]

So I'm sitting in a bar last night drinking beer , minding my own business and taking a hit of Canadian Windsor from my flask to kill the taste of the cheap beer when this lounge lizzard slithered over and asked me, "What's a Motor Gusshi? with spittle and cheap beer hitting my face from her slobbering. I told her they are made in Italy since 1921. That went over her head like if I told her what the stock market is.

Her last boyfriend had a Harley but doesn't now. "What happened?" It was repoed. And the boyfriend before that has his in the pawn shop. I see a pattern here.

Anyhow, she wants to go for a ride on a "Gusshi" because she has never rode on one before. OK, but before I can give you a ride I must check on the Wildgoose forum and see if this is a good idea. I sho nuff want an opinion before I make this decision. Well, my damn laptop didn't work and I had to refuse to give her a ride because I couldn't get an opinion from y'all.

At least I can go about todays business without going to the DR. for multiple shots or putting Lysol on the Guzzi seat.

Why can't I be smart like Lannis?Tex

[Gliderjohn]

Well now, one must take some risks and and get out of one's comfort zone to spread the gospel of Moto Guzzi.
GliderJohn

[Guzzistajohn]

You'll never be that smart ken. Sorry. He's even an expert on dog 🐶 sizes and weight now. Wou should have stuck her on the back seat and let the chips fall where they May while you had the chance.

[yogidozer]

how much was she going to charge ya.....for a ride?

[yogidozer]

Oh, and make sure "she" really is a "she"
I heard that advice from Charlie Sheen, 0n two and a half men, once.

[lucian]

   Always spray the seat with Lysol  Before the ride.  In this case Raid after the ride just to be safe. And I'm pretty sure only you can make you a looser. 

[Triple Jim]

If she was a drunk as the slurred speech of your post indicates, she probably would have fallen off the bike, or caused you to wobble into a lamppost well before you got to the other stuff.

[Ncdan]

Take a chance , Columbus did:)

[Lannis]

At least I can go about todays business without going to the DR. for multiple shots or putting Lysol on the Guzzi seat.

Why can't I be smart like Lannis?Tex

If you're looking to get smart from me about picking up barflies, uses of Blue Ointment, penicillin-resistant bugs, morning after regrets, and furious boyfriends with .44s ....

... you are definitely barking up the wrong gum stump .....

Lannis

[oldbike54]

 Did she have a "property of Slicer" tattoo ?

 Dusty

[PeteS]

Oh, and make sure "she" really is a "she"
I heard that advice from Charlie Sheen, 0n two and a half men, once.

Crocodile Dundee would agree.



Pete

[cloudbase]

Well now, one must take some risks and and get out of one's comfort zone to spread the gospel of Moto Guzzi.
GliderJohn

He's risking a big-time ass whippin' from Beaver.

[John A]

She sounds purty, Tex. 

[John Ulrich]

Don't forget to compliment her on how nice her "tooth" looks

[yogidozer]

Don't forget to compliment her on how nice her "tooth" looks

which one? 

[kevdog3019]

He's risking a big-time ass whippin' from Beaver.

I'd say you made the right choice in Beaver.   

[swooshdave]

which one? 

The only one.

[ITSec]

Take a chance , Columbus did:)

Yes, and there were things other than potatos and gold that were brought back from the New World, too!

[Arizona Wayne]

Ken, well I declare, after all these years did you fall off the wagon ?    or is this just another of them Texas tales?

[Sasquatch Jim]

Take a chance , Columbus did:)

 It's true that Colombus took a chance, but he brought back Syphilus to Europe.  A particularly virulent strain of it too.
 The Carribean people had been so commonly infected with syphilus for so long that it was only a nuisance to them except for the cannibals.  Eating syphilitic people creates a particularly nasty strain and when this hit Europe it killed about a third of the population in a hundred years.  It was known as the Spanish disease, the English complaint, and a host of other names that tried to blame various nationalities for the plague.  But in truth it was people like Casanova who spread it the fastest and farthest.

[not-fishing]

Wow, you're doing better than me Tex.  Maybe I need to visit my Cousins in Texas to get some pointers....

I took the Lemans on a little ride to from Folsom to Volcano, California      no it doesn't get hot    then on to Daffodil Hill.  It's been a number of decades since I rode those roads on a bicycle so I couldn't remember them very well.

The good news is the road is it a very windy 15-35 mph road, somewhat washed out as it ruins along Sutter Creek.  After the Daffodil Hill being closed due to the rains I rode back to Volcano for  a stop and a Bloody Mary at the Hotel.



Even though it was 4 pm there was a number of women there under 50 and I was the only guy.   I couldn't tell you much about them as I hadn't put on my regular glasses and I'm somewhat nearsighted.

No One asked the question "what's a Guzzi?" and I do have a Moto Guzzi patch on the shoulder.

Maybe they thought I was Gay because I don't wear black leathers but do have a shag seat skin seat cover.

Maybe they didn't ask because the Lemans has a pillion cover so there's no second seat visible.

Maybe they figured I'm a grumpy old man who only wants to ride with women as long as they stay on their own bike.  I had a bad experience with Tandem Bicycles

It was a very good ride that I plan on repeating. 

Maybe I should bring the boy on the V50.  He's over 21 and I could see if those women were Cougars

[Don G]

Always wear your Beer Google's!  DonG

[rodekyll]

*sigh*

Tex, I keeps telling you the two things about that. 

A)  When you can't get to the forum for essential advice in a hurry, ANY committee that would have you as a member will do. 

and second, this is the wildgooschase forum.  Nobody here is qualified to give advice on your problem.

[Matteo]

*sigh*

Tex,  Nobody here is qualified to give advice on your problem.

That won't stop us from trying!

[britman]

"Maybe they thought I was Gay because I don't wear black leathers but do have a shag seat skin seat cover."

Sheep skin seat covers are really in vogue with the cool people.  You should have heard the ration of fecal matter I got from the Rocket 3 crowd when I posted I had installed one on my "Fat Bottom Girl'......

[rodekyll]

Last time we went to the gentlemens' bar across the street from the Oleo Ranch, Tex safety pinned a freshly-washed dollar bill to the backside of his bibbs.  His hope was to start a conversation when some lady tried to grab it.  He trolled all night without a bite, but came home with $0.35 pinned to the bibbs and a note asking if he had any smaller bills.  Says he never felt a thing.     

[Matteo]

"Maybe they thought I was Gay because I don't wear black leathers but do have a shag seat skin seat cover."

If you walk into a bar in NYC and everyone is dressed in black leather you are probably in a gay bar, not that there's anything wrong with that

[Lannis]

If you walk into a bar in NYC and everyone is dressed in black leather you are probably in a gay bar, not that there's anything wrong with that

 

OR if you say something like "Shag seat cover" in that same bar, you'll get a different response ....

[Texas Turnip]

Now I know most of you are trying to imagine what the lounge lizard looked like. Here is a hint: she had even teeth 2-4-6-8. Maybe, her and Slicer will come to Cedarvale for the rally.

I'm staying home tonight and reading the Moto Guzzi News, Catholic Digest and Hustler.

Tex

[cloudbase]

Ken, well I declare, after all these years did you fall off the wagon ?    or is this just another of them Texas tales?

The only wagon he's on is the one pulled by those Clydesdales.